Now I want you to tie a rope around your balls. Tie it nice and tightly and attach a 1-2kg weight to it with a string that is at least 30cm long.
Now I want you to stand up and hold that weight off of the ground. Stay like that for at least 30 seconds, and then approach a table or desk or bench that is at or above the height of your balls. That is, the height of your balls when you're standing at full height, not that pathetic stance that you're holding now.
When you've found a suitable table, I want you to get the weight up there without using your hands. Swinging it is probably your best bet, though you might be able to take a huge step up onto it.
Do not click continue unless you succeed.