Before we really get into it, I think you could use a little warm up. You know, get you in the right mood and mindset.
How about you watch a sexy video? That sounds good, but since I've already established you're not a real man, there will be no hot naked girls for you to oogle over. Oh no, it would be an insult to them, we can't have that. Instead, you'll be watching something... different. Something that will teach you your new place in the world.
But first, go and bring me a bag of clothespins and a 2L bottle, filled with water.