Your man may or may not think he is interested in chastity, but it is worth you having in the back of your mind either way. He likes to be teased, and presumable denied, and wants you to control his orgasms, so unless he has an iron will, he will most likely masturbate, try to hide it, and feel horrible for doing it. Chastity is a potential answer to avoid this, or to implement when it happens.

I have communicated over the years with over two dozen wives who keep their husbands chaste. I have met several of them in person and the one thing they all agreed on was that the benefits of chastity for their husbands were incredible. It may amaze you, as it did me, to find out that so many men and women use chastity as part of their relationship, really more than you could imagine. There was a newspaper article a while back that stated that well over a million of the plastic CB2000/3000 type chastity devices have been sold. This just goes to show that male chastity is less bizarre than you probably thought and there is a lot of it being practiced, probably by some of your girlfriends.

This document is a summary of what I have found out talking with many other women and practicing chastity with Mark for several years. I hope that it will help other wives considering a chastity lifestyle for their husbands.

Before you embark on considering putting your man in a chastity device, you need to ask yourself the following questions. Are you unhappy with how much attention he now pays to you? Do you think that at least part of the problem is that he is paying too much attention to pornography or other women? Has he admitted to you that he masturbates too much? Would you be willing to have less intercourse, if you got a lot more attention including a lot more oral sex? Do you recognize that you too have also let your relationship dwindle over time as he has grown more distant? Are you willing to take control and put in the effort to make your relationship work in a new and exciting way? If you said yes to even a couple of these, you should consider chastity for your husband.

To make chastity work you need to first develop a plan and then wholeheartedly put it into action. I read a lot and communicated with many others and the strong consensus was that chastity to change your marriage has to be real and not a game. It has to be a 24/7 part of your relationship. 24/7 is the foundation; it is what changes men for the positive because they shouldn't have the opportunity to control their sexual release. This is one of the areas that the goddess, lady, mistress, keyholder or whatever you prefer to be known as must have absolute control of. Although the woman remains in control it is very important to remember that you and he are still a couple in a relationship, he is still your husband and that shouldn't be forgotten, your relationship only changes once you close the bedroom door. Life goes on as it always has, employment, financial, family issues and decisions are all still there. Your dominance should not interfere in other areas though you will find he will react differently, often positively, as his feelings and emotions change.

All men, given the ability, masturbate way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn't seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women. However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you. Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you're happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.

How to do it, that is an extremely important decision. Developing the correct plan, one that would work for my husband, was the most detailed part of the research process. By taking the advice of many other women, I was able to put a well informed plan together that I was confident that would be successful. I followed this plan from day one and still do to this day. I have found it works. At least a dozen other ladies have also utilized variations on this plan successfully. We must always remember that sexually we are always in command and that first and foremost we will always be sexually satisfied. This is the cornerstone to happiness for both you and him. Keeping you sexually satisfied is your husband's job. Mark does so anywhere and anytime I say and by any means that I demand. His not being able to experience the pleasure of an orgasm only means that I experience many more than ever before.

You may think that this works only to your advantage and that is a common misconception. It is just as advantageous for him. He must keep you satisfied to eventually get his release and every time he satisfies you he is happy because he has made you happy. It is important to instill to him that his primary means of sexual gratification will be through yours. Eventually every time you experience an orgasm he will have a sense of sexual satisfaction. How you will accomplish this I will explain in a moment. What could be better, your being pleasured any way you like and experiencing wonderful sensations. He can not have an orgasm but he feels satisfied because you are and he will maintain a high libido. Although you're still equals outside of the home you are the queen of the bedroom. Except on especially cold nights, I insist Mark sleep naked. To enforce that you do have a certain amount of control it is important that he is forced to do and maintain a change in his appearance, something between you and he. This must be something that would be embarrassing for him when out in the general public so it should be concealed. Generally something under his clothes; replacing his underwear with ladies panties or requiring him to wear a girdle if he is overweight are popular examples. Some of the women think that a man's feet are best, easily covered or uncovered based on your orders and modifications could be removed when you feel it is necessary and reapplied when the time is suitable. In my case, Mark wears a gold ankle bracelet and I paint his nails with clear polish. With the exception of work and exercise he must wear whatever footwear I designate. High heels are a particular favorite since he likes these on me and he looks so funny when he tries to walk in them. I find this does absolutely nothing for me sexually but it re-enforces to him the fact that I am in control.

Achieving your desired results is easier than you might think. It is an empowering experience. Depending on your situation there will be differences but there are parameters that should be followed to achieve the greatest results. The most important step is always the first one. This is where he is made to understand that you control his sexual pleasure from this point forward. Most of the women I have talked with agree that it is best to lay out the terms of your new relationship with him in the strongest possible terms. Some favor a written contract, which I followed, so there is no room for confusion. My terms and the consensus advice from those women I talked with are that he agrees to having his penis locked in a chastity device of your choosing, that you alone have the power to grant him an orgasm and that you may decide never to allow him to have another one, that he agrees to perform all services, domestic and sexual, that you request, that he agrees to being disciplined in any way you deem appropriate.

It is almost universally held by women who seriously practice chastity for their male that initial enforcement of chastity should be at least one month of continuous wear without relief after you go through the break in period of getting a device that fits. Preventing him from having an orgasm for one month period may seem a bit harsh but it is paramount to your success as it allows his body and mind to adjust to the lack of masturbation and sexual pleasure as desired. Enforcing the first one month period will allow him to get in to the proper frame of mind and make him understand your desire and your commitment and your determination to his being chaste; it will also give you the chance to develop the strength to say "no". He should be made aware of the time frame immediately upon his being secured in his device, this allows for a clear understanding of the initial commitment of time. If he is at all uncooperative during this first month, you should add additional time to his lock up. I gave Mark a one week extension as a warning about whining about getting out and a one month extension the second time he more bluntly told me he needed out. After that there were no more incidents but I was seriously considering three months for the next offense. I tend to agree with the more experienced women that I talked with that you can not be too strict with respect to the initial lockup period if you want to achieve the triple goals of getting yourself past feeling that it is your duty to give him orgasms, getting him focused on his new role of pleasing you, and your becoming comfortable with being in charge. If you haven't achieved these goals then lengthen the time. In retrospect, I think that I came down hard on Mark and added the extra month because I felt myself falling into the trap of feeling that I had to let him have an orgasm since I saw him so frustrated by the chastity device. I am glad that I did. When I finally let him out it was on my terms.

After three months of being locked up your hubby would be willing to do almost anything for a release. Rather than pleasuring himself when he wants, he will become dedicated to pleasuring you when you want it and how you want it. You too also need to explore how to make his chastity work best for you. I was counting the days until I could have intercourse with Mark again. You will start to experiment and think about how to train him to pleasure you without worrying about his having an orgasm. When you can do this it will have changed the dynamic of your relationship in a way that set you and him on the path to long term happiness.

Upon completing his initial confinement period I assure you that you can give him an experience like he has never had before, this is a reward for the couple. You will have a sense of strength for enforcing it and him for getting thru it. You should make his orgasm a slow drawn out one with lots of teasing. It will be all too easy for him to cum very quickly. You may need to tie him down to keep him on edge but when you finally do let him cum it will be almost too much for his body to handle. Once you allow him his first release it is entirely up to you how many sexual experiences you allow, how they occur and how the ejaculate is disposed.

A very important step during any release period is to ensure that you will get him right back in to his device. Some of the women do this by always tying him down before the device is removed. While this has its old school charms, there are lots of other options. Locking his hands behind his back in a pair of handcuffs is a quick way to keep him from grabbing his penis if you are teasing him. I also have a waist belt with a pair of leather cuffs attached which is easy and fun to use. You can get something similar for cuffing his hands to his thighs. A wonderful device called a Humbler works well if you want him to have use of his hands to pleasure you. If all you are doing is inspecting penis and making sure the device is cleaned then I just put the handcuffs on one of his wrists or ankles prior to removing his device. Before the cuff comes off he has to be secured back in his chastity tube. I am confident that he would not be willing to go to work with the dangling cuff. Several of the other women have tried this trick and found it works well. The less that you have to worry about his arguing that the device doesn't have to immediately go back on the more likely you are to take it off frequently which promotes both teasing and keeping the tube and his penis clean.

There were a number of different views about how often a male should be allowed to cum after the initial denial period. Some of the women with younger males let theirs have an orgasm about once a week. I suspect that they were masturbating a couple times a day before this so that once a week is a big reduction. Most of the women I talked to though thought that it was best to strike a balance between keeping them completely denied and giving them some hope of gaining a release. You will need to experiment and ultimately you will need to do what works best for you, recognizing that the less often for him the better.

Some of the other women like to set goals for their hubbies where they be allowed an orgasm earlier than scheduled if a big goal was met. One of the women I talked with wanted her husband to lose 40 pounds. After he completed the initial three month lock up, he was given a mind blowing orgasm that seemed to make all worthwhile to him. She brought him back down to earth by telling him that their relationship was so much better with him locked in his chastity tube that he would now get out only once a year for a release. She then told that she would let him out early one time during the year for each ten pounds that he lost and that for each five pounds he gained he would get three months added on to his lockup. She was thrilled with the results. He got fifty pounds off during the year and got five extra orgasms. Now, he is right where she wants him, fifty pounds lighter and locked on a one year interval with the threat that it will be over two years if he gains back even half the weight he lost.

The most common question women new to chastity ask is what type of device to put him in. The consensus advice is to prepare yourself for some frustrating trial and error to find the right device and the right fit. There is no right device for all males. It is a bit like finding the perfect pair of shoes. The chastity device needs to be custom fit. It has to be comfortable if he is going to live with it on 24/7 and it has to be completely secure and effective if you are going to be happy with it. I have two chastity tube devices from Mistress Lori (http://www.chastitytube.com), a woman on a mission to put an end to male erections, masturbation, and cheating. I have her number 7 which is a short straight steel tube which has a ring that goes behind the balls for normal use, and an acrylic number 14, which I use on Mark when he travels and has to go through metal detectors.

Another thing you need in a chastity device is to get him in the smallest tube his penis will fit in while soft so he can not get an erection in the device. Males who are what is known as growers, their penis get much larger when excited, are much harder to fit than those who are showers, those whose penis gets hard but not much larger. If you get the tube too small his penis will get fluid retention which is called edema but otherwise, smaller is better. You want him completely dependent on you for getting an erection and a smaller tube will actually be more comfortable after he has adjusted to it. A loose tube can also allow enough growth from an erection that with sliding the tube up and down or using a vibrator on it some males can successfully masturbate.

Prostate milking is a necessity if your male is locked up for over a month otherwise his prostate can get clogged up and his chance of getting prostate cancer increased. Milking causes a release of seminal fluid which clears out the prostrate but provides none of the satisfaction of an orgasm. Prostate milking is a wonderful thing to do and it is hard to over do. The semen drooling out will reduce the male's testosterone level though so he will be more mellow and docile after the milking. If you think that he is getting testy just put him on the milking stand and pump it out.

Milking is a great way of reinforcing your complete control over his sexuality. Milking also helps to prevent nocturnal or spontaneous orgasms which can happen if he is locked up long enough without being milked or allowed to cum. You can look at prostate milking as a necessary procedure, a form of punishment or just fun. The milking session usually lasts between 10 - 20 minutes, and is a pleasurable gentle massage of the prostate, after about 10 minutes hubby will begin to release fluid which Mark says has a sensation similar to slow urinating. After continued massage the fluid flows out freely.

Since most wives insist hubby keep his genitals shaved smooth, taking him for a brazilian wax is a way to both humble and disciple him.

If you think you might be tempted to let your hubby out early, you can have a girlfriend you trust hold the keys. If you think a little extra humbling would do him some good, send him over to clean her house and let her increase his lockup time for less than perfect work. If you keep the key, keep it close at all times. There might be an emergency, but you want hubby to know you have the key and the control. A long necklace will keep it between your breasts. For me, a belly chain leaves it dangling a lot lower - an added pleasure! Bracelets and anklets are popular too, but you're more likely to get questions from friends or co-workers if the key is visible.

There may be times where you feel you have to unlock him to use his penis. Fortunately, there is a way to do this without letting him orgasm by using elamax numbing creme and a several condoms. This usually works but there is always a small risk that he will cum especially if he has been locked for a long time. The most fiendish devices are those that fit over his penis. Lori sells a dildo sleeve that fits over her tubes. He will be a wreck as there is no way the Lori's tube will let him get erect but his mind and body will just keep on trying. Somewhat better for your pleasure is a new device called Her Delight from the keptforher.com company that makes an insert to help prevent males from pulling out of their CB3000. This device uses the CB3000 teste ring to anchor a dildo that slides over hubby's penis.This dildo is harder than Lori's sleeve, but not too hard. Although he can get reasonably hard in it, he will get very little in the way of stimulation that might lead to an orgasm. You on the other hand can keep at it as long you want with no worries that he will cum at all, much less too soon. His chastity tube itself does not have quite the right shape so it is not the most comfortable ride for you, but if you really want to get to him on the tease side it is hard to beat.

Every so often I and many of the women I have talked with want the real thing. To make these rare opportunities for him to have intercourse with you work for both of you, you need to recognize that after being locked up for a long time he will cum with a hair trigger. He is also unlikely to get as large as he did before long term chastity unless you take him out of the tube and get him hard on a frequent basis, which is what I do with Mark. You can avoid disappointment if you stimulate him to orgasm in some way other than intercourse when you first let him out of the tube. After he cums give him a Viagra and wait an hour or so before you use him for up. It is good for about three hours or you can give him a Cialis if you want to do an all day thing. Once he has cum the first time and recovered by the time the erection drug takes effect, he will not orgasm nearly as easily and either of the two drugs will get and keep him really hard even if he has another orgasm. Some of the women use their hubbies for intercourse for several days in a row treating the whole event as a single release period before they lock him back up for a prolonged duration. When I'm using Mark's penis for my pleasure instead of his mouth, I always fill his mouth with a pair of my panties to keep his mind on what his mouth is for.

The big changes that you must make in yourself to make a chastity relationship work is to commit to frequently teasing him, like you no doubt did when you first dated, and to having much more frequent sex yourself. The two can be one and the same thing. Having him perform cunnalingus on you while locked up is almost guaranteed to drive to the edge. Fortunately, for you the chastity device will keep him from going over. Just think the more sex you get without letting him cum the more he wants you. If more women knew this secret there would be a lot more locked up husbands and boyfriends.

Remember you have all the time in the world to train him to do the way you want without any need to worry about getting him off. Once locked all he does is fantasize about you. You will need to decide if you want to be the one that initiates sex or whether you want him to. My usual rule with Mark is that I will tell him when and how I want to be pleasured and he is expected to drop everything when this happens. This is clearly a control issue for me but your tastes may differ. The bliss point is when you get your hubby to the place he gets pleasure purely from your pleasure without thinking about his cock. Mark is not quite there yet but he is getting there.

There are almost an infinite number of ways that you can tease him. There is the classic tie him down to the bed, take off the tube and work over his cock for hours. Every time you feel him close to an orgasm stop and straddle his face and have one or more yourself. Stay with it as long as you can and you will leave him a marshmallow. You may find that you have to ice down is penis to get back in the tube. Dress up in the way that drives him crazy and stand him at attention nude in his chastity tube while you softly stroke him all over except for ignoring his cock. He will struggle to stand tall as his cock struggles to grow in the chastity tube. Every woman needs to develop her own style. You can keep things fresh by continuing to experiment. It may seem like a lot of work but he will shower you with attention.

During the day and evening, give his chastity device a quick squeeze when you're at home, in the car, or a semi-private place like an elevator. In public brush up against him in a less noticable way, but one that he'll unmistakably feel. Show him the key, whisper how turned on you are. Give him a strip tease or masturbate in front of him. Mark likes to know I'm thinking about his chastity too, and teasing is one way to show it.

While it is hard to do too much physical teasing, conversation, by far, plays the bigger part. It takes very little energy and allows you to increase his frustration without having to do anything. Telling him what you like about his predicament, letting him know how much you appreciate what he has done to become a better spouse, partner, friend and lover. Let him know how his being chaste turns you on, if seeing him struggle thru sexual frustration entertains you let him know. Maybe you enjoy his not being able to touch himself, whatever it is communicate it. You should also not forget that all of those things that use to drive you crazy like porn and ogling pretty young things can now be used against him. There is nothing like knowing that the chastity tube is really biting as his favorite eye candy passes by. The beauty of a good chastity device is that not only does it prevent him from getting an erection and masturbating but that the device is always working for you. It stimulates him at the first sign of arousal and then quickly constraining the budding erection. You should never miss an opportunity to point things that might arouse him. I like watching adult films made with women in mind and reading erotica out loud with Mark, both keep him constantly on edge.

It is understandable that there may be days that you want to ignore his situation. It is alright to not care that all the time that he is not no longer in control of his manhood and you can let him know that you don't. Still you should not let this go more than a few days without making positive comments about his being locked up for you. The main thing if you are going to lock him up is that you need to make a commitment to yourself and him to make this work. I have told women who were thinking about chastity that if they were not willing to take control of the teasing, discipline and the frequency with which they had sex and the effort this entails that they might be better off in their old relationship where he ignored you and you ignored him. There is a way to get what you want but it will not happen by itself. He cannot change himself, but a chastity device and a lot of hard work on your part can mold him into the husband you have always dreamed about.

If he doesn't already, he will want to worship you after you have locked him up for a while. This initially bothered some of the women I talked with who felt their hubby's new found attention to be artificial. It is driven partially by his newly increased testosterone level but that is what also drove his courting of you. Most often he has agreed to being locked up because he desperately wants to want you that badly again. You need to reciprocate by demanding that he worship you as a goddess but you also need to figure out how to channel his attention in directions that are good and work for you. Those may be very different from his ideas of how he should worship you, but this is an area where your desires come first and you need to maintain strict control if you are going to be happy with the chastity arrangement.

As the endeavor in to chastity continues you will be able to add ideas and musings to your relationship that you find works well. Remembering the basic principles of how to keep your hubby under your spell will let you, and him, discover chastity's amazing rewards. Always maintain the upper hand, do those things to show both you and him that your requests are nothing less than a requirement for him.

Whether this is something that he initiated, the two of you mutually agreed upon or something that you requested from him -- one thing is a necessity, there needs to be something for him to gain. He is giving up something that is a very important part of a male's life, his sexual abilities -- and for that you need to realize that he should be rewarded as you will be, but obviously in a much different way. You know the things that he likes, that arouse him and put a smile on his face. Often times we find that these are things that really do not interest us but considering the sacrifice that he is making you too can make sacrifices. Once I saw the lengths he was willing to go to please me, I willingly and lovingly offered Mark my rear end, something that was previously off limts. Like marriage, chastity needs mutual rewards and often you will find those things that you reward him with will lead to an increase in his being aroused and enhancing his over all demeanor. It could be giving massages or trying sexual things that he likes but you never desired to try. You know how to dress to turn him on and you need to find out his fetishes if you don't know them already and indulge them. All of this will heighten his happiness and arousal. He is making a substantial change in his lifestyle and you too may need to make some major adjustments so that he feels things are fair.

The combination of chastity, corporal punishment and pegging will make your man a new creature, unselfish and kind. He will soon understand that he does not control anything _not even his penis_ he will not be able to have something as private as an erection without your consent. He will realize he can’t have what he wants, when he wants it, without your approval.

You will never want to let things revert back to his self "lack of" control again. Believe me, the routine is effective and over the long term you'll not regret it even though at times it seems like a lot of work. I think some of the husbands would given a choice go back to their old ways, but none of the wives would. I think that deep down the men are happier because they wanted to be sexually controlled by their wives and now they are. Their new reality is often much different than their original fantasy because it is now your fantasy not his. I know the wives, who stuck it out through the trials and tribulations of finding a chastity device that worked and figuring out how change their mindset from a need to give him orgasms to one of deserving all the orgasms they could ever want, are all much happier.

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