No, lets be truly honest. You aren't gay. In fact you would never be with a man, officially.
You are attracted to women, very much so. You just want your women to dress you up in frilly, feminine clothes. You want her to order you to go out into public and put your sissy side on display for all to see.
You secretly desire her order to eat your own cum. This fantasy of pleasing a man in real life is just that... Fantasy.
Still stroking? You'd better be. I'd hate to send you packing while Mistress Aiden is out.