"I am looking forward to this, im sure your ass can not vait! So lube up vhatever item you have, and smother it all over your asshole, get it nice and vet so you vill be easily penetraded by zis dildo! and vork it in deep.
Are you all lubed up and ready to go da? ....Good now grab zhat dildo, take a deep breath and push slowly the top of the dildo into your ass. Do it nice and slowly, only push about an inch or 2 inside.
Vonce you have about 2 inches in start slowly to pull the dildo out, and push it back in again but just keep it at 2 inches for now. Do zhis untill you feel comfortable."