39-Year-Old Virgin
It must be really embarrassing for you. I mean, when you go to parties (you do go to parties, don't you?) and your friends are playing "I Never" and they start talking about all the sex type things they've done, you have to lie, don't you? You can't tell your friends what a joke you are, can you?
Trust me, if any of your friends are girls, they already know. Me and my friends can smell loser on a guy from 50 feet away.
Are you hard yet? Would it help if I pull my skirt down a little? That better?
Anyway, back to the loser thing. You HAVE to know what a wasted life you've led. All those fantasies you have about women are realities to most men. Most NORMAL men, anyway.
No, don't leave! I'm sorry. I know you're sensitive about this but I'm just being HONEST.