39-Year-Old Virgin
Oh, hi! You work for my dad, don't you? He isn't here right now but you can wait if you want.
What's your name again? Never mind, I won't remember it anyway, I promise. I'll just call you "Bob."
What's that? It's your birthday today?
You're 39?
That doesn't leave much time, does it?
For what, he asks. Duh!
It's such a cliche - the 40-year-old virgin. They made a very funny movie about it but it's not really a joke to you, is it?
No, I think it hits a little too close to home for you, doesn't it?
Virgin...virgin...virgin
It's a dirty word to you, isn't it?
It's OK, I understand. Look, you seem like a nice guy to me so you can touch yourself if you want while you look at me.
I won't tell anyone and I won't laugh, I promise.