OK so you've been a true camper.
and followed the path of denial.
good lets see what will you need today:
lube
rock hard cock in hand
stopwatch (http://www.online-stopwatch.com/)
tabata timer (http://www.beach-fitness.com/tabata/Tabata%20Clock%20v3.15%20%28beach-fitness.com%29.swf)
copy these URL's and open them up in separate windows
then continue on...yeah you know whats coming don't you