Forced Exhibitionism with Lexi
<1 inch: Wait, what the fuck? Are you a girl? Is that a clit? I've seen clits that were bigger. Oh my god, this is going to be so extremely humiliating for you, and I'm going to be laughing the entire time. It's not even a fucking penis. It's a clit. Now this just confirms you are a virgin and you'll stay like that for the rest of your life. I'm sorry but the only way you should be getting off is with a dildo massaging your prostate.
1 - 3 inches: How old are you? Hmm... I think you're fucked. You are done growing, it's just not going to get any bigger. Maybe we could get you to go on the Howard Stern show? Make fun of you over the radio for the entire world to see. How exactly do you have sex? I'm sorry, how exactly do you even pee? Sitting down? I'd be hard pressed to find that little thing wiggling around there at night.
3 - 5 inches: Congratulations. You are officially below average but here's something on a higher note - we can at least see it when you pull your pants down and start laughing from afar. Not too far that is. Anything over a distance of 5 feet and we'll lose it again.
5 - 7 inches: Don't get too confident there tiny. It's still below average and girls still enjoy a dick that's at least 7 inches contrary to what you tell yourself at night - that big dicks fuck up girls vagina. Yeah, they do but they are the ones getting action, not yours. Besides I love feeling sore in the mornings. It's the feeling of a great fuck. Well, don't worry, we can at least work on it with a penis pump.
7+ inches: Wow, I think I'm going to enjoy this. Not bad. Not bad at all. You should show it to everyone.