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Hi,

I have an issue with premature ejaculation - I'm a minute man...

When I'm having sex I tend only to last a few seconds, and never more than a minute. (This is with some stimulation beforehand, but that's still pretty extreme!) With masturbation I'm a little bit better, but I still have very little self-control. I really struggle to edge - often the feeling of cumming seems to sneak up on me so quickly and I can't stop in time. There's absolutely no way I could manage the Cock Hero videos!

I want to try and strengthen my endurance by masturbating, but I'm not really sure how to go about doing it given how bad I am. I'm vaguely into humiliation - one idea I had was to try and edge with my legs up in the air and dick pointing at my face, so I've got a real incentive to not come!

Given I struggle to edge so much though, I don't know how well this well work. Does anyone have any ideas on other "games" I could try to help myself with this issue, or any comments generally about how to last longer when you're as bad as this?

Hi!

This kind of problem amuses me a lot!

Would you, at least, have enough control to let go when on the edge? Even if you realize you're past the point of no return?

This would be a good start. You can set a goal to reach before being allowed to stroke during orgasm. I can imagine rules like this:

- 60 minutes of stroking before a full orgasm
- 1 full stroke (all the way up and all the way down) each second minimum on a hard cock counts
- Minutes can be divided in many sessions spreaded on many days
- each 30 seconds of continual stroking counts and is added to the total
- Stop BEFORE cumming, at the edge and wait a minute or 2 before resuming. Take this time to note your score. 39 seconds counts for 30 seconds, 1 minute 25 seconds counts for 1 minute, and so on...
- 3 edges maximum per session
- Each session must be followed by a break of minimum 1 hour with flaccid cock
- If you stop too late (point of no return) and ejaculate, even a small amount, remove 2 minutes from the total and wait the next day for another session.
- When you reach the 60 minutes of stroking, stop at the edge as usual to note down your score, then, as per the rules, you may cum during the next stroking time. This means that if you reached 60 minutes on the 3rd edge of a session, you must take the break before having the session in which you will orgasm...

When you managed to do this once, you may increase the stroking time to achieve or try to do it in less sessions/days or increase the speed of the stroking or anything that makes this exercise harder to improve your stamina.

This worked for a sub I was training. He learned to feel and surf the edge. At the end, he was able to go for a 10 minutes of stroking in one single session before having to stop!

Let me know if you try it and if it works for you!

have fun

Mistress B.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=839DO8-0cY8

but seriously, may I ask how old you are? When I was younger I had the same issue a couple of times because I got overexcited when I haven't had sex for a while, masturbation doesn't count, but when I had sex more often it got easier to gontrol myself after "getting used"

also try to train your PC-Muscles, there is plenty on that topic on the internet, just google it

and I can remember there was a fleshlight, that they advertised as an ultimate endurance trainer, but these things are pretty expensive and I can't say anything about it myself if it is any good

Fleshlight is named STU stamina training unit and it is fantastic.

Price is not cheap of course but if you take care of it properly only mechanical issues can damage it which is rather unlikely.

I don't think it has some special "magicial" effects that improves your stamina besiades few things for sure.

-While edging with them you can learn to know when orgasm approach and train yourself to stop on the right time.
-It is produced from material that imitate "real thing" realy nice so you can make yourself familiar with feel.
-It is much thighter than normal pussy so if you learn to last with it there is much possibility you can make it longer during intercourse.

On the other hand if your cock is realy sensitive you can have problems with edging as it is realy realy thight and stopping on the right time can be somewhat hard.

I buyed it just for plain fun not to train stamina and I like it very much. (Edging with it is so much more frustrating ) .

I have also advice for you. When you try to edge do it realy and I mean realy slowly. You can stroke yourself as fast as you want but when you feel that edge approach slow down and do it slower and slower and slower. Also lighten your grip if you feel like that. With it I have much more control over that edge and I can bring mysel to the point when even one little touch can make me explode.

And final advice: don't give up. It is realy hard to control yourself at the beginning (why I must stop when I can give myself these few more strokes and can have amazing orgasm). But when you learn to edge properly it will become easier after some time.

Stroke either slowly
or use a light touch

try just the tips of your fingers..
less sensation helps you last longer at high speeds until you learn to pace yourself

few teases mention Grip..
so if it says stroke fast for 120 seconds
and your thoughts are that's impossible!!
try it with a super light touch

heck 2 fingers even.
there is a great website for all kinds of different techniques..
http://advancedmasturbation.com/
it is kind of the Kama sutra of Masturbation.

I would suggest for the start to simply set up goals how long you do masturbate. Don't edge, and doesn't matter how awfully slow you go - just keep it up for, say, 20 minutes each day. After some time you will find you are able to go faster. And longer.

To treat premature ejaculation I would recommend you this, but you should view it like a treatment, not fun. i.e. I would do that regulary without skipping days, and certainly you should NOT go for just a quickie. I know, there's a temptation from time to time to just relax and cum, but you should not do that. Much later on you may extend your sessions and add edging, but not right away.
And above all - DON'T get into denial as you are. Every session you should end with orgasm. Denial will only boost your anxiety and make your body try to reach orgasm faster. Instead, as I said, go for enjoyable long masturbating session, watch good porn or make your girlfriend help you out, which is always better. Don't rush, don't go for a lot of edging if it's frustrating rather than enjoyable.

that's what I think.
Also you may try listening to some relaxing hypnosis, but be sure to find yourself a MEDICAL SESSION made by professionals, not just some audio made by a kinky-hypnosis site. I personally find http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/
one of the best professionals that go for treatment of different things. You may consider that one.

Nezhul wrote:I would suggest for the start to simply set up goals how long you do masturbate. Don't edge, and doesn't matter how awfully slow you go - just keep it up for, say, 20 minutes each day. After some time you will find you are able to go faster. And longer.

I agree 100% with this.

While it's important to learn to know yourself and pick up the important signs of when an edge is approaching (and do it soon enough to matter), it is ultimately not the best way to train stamina. There is really little difference for the body whether you hit the edge fast or if you actually cum fast. Both are pretty much in the same neighbourhood, and what you really want to achieve in terms of stamina is to be able to go longer without neither edging nor cumming.

Besides, many people seem to forget the rather important fact that the higher on the arousal ladder you are, the less stimulation it takes to keep climbing. When you ultimately are at the very edge, most people can hover there with very very limited stimulation - far less stimulation than it would take to ever get you there in the first place.

So in short, what you really want to work on in terms of stamina, is to stay at a low level of arousal longer. On a scale from 1 to 10, try to work on masturbating longer and longer without ever going past a 5. Even if you have to stop or slow right down a lot, keep at it and stay under that limit. It may be boring, but in a way that is a good thing. As Nez says, look at it as hard learning and training, not as the ultimate fun.

As far as Fleshlight goes, it's a great device. Note that the STU is just one of many models though, and not a synonym to Fleshlight as a whole. Fleshlight comes with many different cases (usually unimportant, just a matter of looks), a few different orifices (general pussy, specific modelled pussies, ass and mouth) - this matters a bit more since it affects both the visual experience and the feel of entering it - and lastly and most importantly they come with a large number of different internal layouts, the STU being tight and intense.

If you are struggling as much as it sounds like, a Fleshlight would be a great tool, but I'd say go for at least one other, easier sleeve, not just the STU which you may find quite intense. Another sleeve with a very plain pussy shape might be a good idea - it's the least intense Fleshlight you can get and a very good thing to train with from your starting point.

And most importantly, a lot easier said than done, try to not stress about it and make it into a big deal. Stress and/or over-excitement both work wonders to keep you cumming fast. Relaxing and being cool about it makes it a lot easier.

Besides, people generally make a big deal about premature ejaculation.

Rather than making it into this huge, big deal, a better outlook may be to remind yourself that you CAN go more than one round after all - and the useful fact that you do have both hands and tongue, both being great tools to work your partner while you recover. As an added bonus, if you start again as soon as you physically can manage, you will typically last a LOT longer and have a lot less feeling in round 2+.

janmb wrote:

Nezhul wrote:I would suggest for the start to simply set up goals how long you do masturbate. Don't edge, and doesn't matter how awfully slow you go - just keep it up for, say, 20 minutes each day. After some time you will find you are able to go faster. And longer.

I agree 100% with this.

While it's important to learn to know yourself and pick up the important signs of when an edge is approaching (and do it soon enough to matter), it is ultimately not the best way to train stamina. There is really little difference for the body whether you hit the edge fast or if you actually cum fast. Both are pretty much in the same neighbourhood, and what you really want to achieve in terms of stamina is to be able to go longer without neither edging nor cumming.

I agree completely as well. Edging is great and all, but I'm not sure how much it will help your stamina. You'll still have to stop after a minute of sex, the only difference is you won't be cumming.

janmb wrote:Besides, many people seem to forget the rather important fact that the higher on the arousal ladder you are, the less stimulation it takes to keep climbing. When you ultimately are at the very edge, most people can hover there with very very limited stimulation - far less stimulation than it would take to ever get you there in the first place.

Yep if you are having a lot of trouble avoiding going over the edge, then you should start slowing down or using a lighter grip as you feel more aroused. You may even want to try only stroking the shaft (a lot less sensitive) or using the "one-finger massage" technique as you get closer. I've found those methods to be effective at achieving ruined orgasms instead of going too far, so they'd probably work well for avoiding orgasm altogether too.

janmb wrote:So in short, what you really want to work on in terms of stamina, is to stay at a low level of arousal longer. On a scale from 1 to 10, try to work on masturbating longer and longer without ever going past a 5. Even if you have to stop or slow right down a lot, keep at it and stay under that limit. It may be boring, but in a way that is a good thing. As Nez says, look at it as hard learning and training, not as the ultimate fun.

It may be "boring" in a sense, but even at a lower arousal level when you do eventually reach orgasm it will tend to be more intense/pleasurable if you've been at it awhile, instead of just a "quickie"

janmb wrote:Rather than making it into this huge, big deal, a better outlook may be to remind yourself that you CAN go more than one round after all - and the useful fact that you do have both hands and tongue, both being great tools to work your partner while you recover. As an added bonus, if you start again as soon as you physically can manage, you will typically last a LOT longer and have a lot less feeling in round 2+.

That's a great point as well. Sex doesn't have to be over just because one of you has reached a single orgasm. In fact some of the best sex is when you keep going :)

edgeallday wrote:That's a great point as well. Sex doesn't have to be over just because one of you has reached a single orgasm. In fact some of the best sex is when you keep going :)

Yeah, without meaning disrespect to anyone at all, it kinda makes me sad when I hear about the all too common idea so many vanilla people seem to have, that the definition of sex is to have intercourse until one or both cum - and that's it.

Likewise, it is sad for all those who live in the limited idea that the only goal of sex is to cum - again once. That the huge obstacle is to make your partner cum at all. Fair enough, some people can have lots of reasons making it hard for them to orgasm, but the basic idea that doing all you can to give your partner maximum stimulation toward the goal of cumming is just sad.

In my younger years I was just like that too. And truth be told, in retrospect I never knew how much sex could be. The very idea about NOT giving your partner what they want (in a positive way of course) or holding it back from them until they crave it all that much more really opened up a new dimension to sexuality for me. Both as giver and receiver.

After having been into tease and denial, as well as chastity for a few years, the idea of a girl giving me orgasm after orgasm and that being the goal and purpose of every sexual encounter seems just outright boring and wrong now.

I found this tease yesterday that would probably be a good way of training yourself to last longer too. It's a long tease so you may not make it through the whole thing but I think it could still be useful.: http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=11956

It basically has you use a metronome to figure out the maximum stroking speed you can go without going over the edge, and then has you stroke at that pace for a long time, with some brief speeding up/slowing down later in the tease for good measure.

This is not a solution , just a quick fix, but you can simply masturbate to orgasm a while before actual sex. If you time it right (say, 2 hours before), you will be able, but not too excited.

Another option is using protection (you should anyways). For me that is like 85% less stimulation.

Go slower. Girls need different stimulation than us, and more is not necessarily merrier. It will be much less stimulation for you, but just little less for her, and you will be much better able to control yourself and/or stop in time.

Last, but not least, focus on your partner. Do what feels good for her. Use your tongue, use your hands. No chance of premature ejaculation that way Get her close, then assume whatever position you (both) like and enjoy simultaneous orgasm. You can actually go quite a while after orgasm, should you still need to.


As for stamina training, start with less stimulation (e.g. only touching the base of you cock), and when you are comfortable with your endurance that way, add just a little more, until you can do full strokes.

Note at the bottom: I don't think there are many healthy men who can actually do CH teases with firm grip and full strokes...

This works



                




Especially inside a condom.

Getting to know your body's reactions is always good. But I'd agree that edging won't help during sex, per se, unless she's in on it and plays it like a game to see how many times you can do it or if she's trying to deny/ruin you. If you just want to last long enough to allow her to cum then edging won't help much. It's really frustrating to have to start, stop, wait a minute, fuck for 30 seconds and just when it's starting to feel good stop because he almost blew his load again, etc. Honestly, at that point, you may as well just cum and see if you can get it up again. Even if she's really close too and you're not sure I'd say just go for it and assume you can stay hard enough to get her off. Because the stopping/starting thing throws the rhythm off way too much, imo.

I strongly agree with the PC muscle advice.

For general edging I'd agree that trying to limit the stimulation of your cockhead is a great idea, but in this case it'd be a stepping stone. Because during sex the glans is leading the way, so to speak, and it'll be receiving the brunt of the pleasure. So you need to eventually get comfortable with there being a lot of pressure there. Otherwise, it could even make it worse maybe.

I'd also agree with the advice to just slow down in general. Maybe your partner is different, but I don't generally need a jackhammer pace to cum. Save that for when the fireworks are going off.