Milovana.com

My first tease after a long long time lurking around and just going through the teases.

It was suggested to me that I make a forum topic so I can hear the feedback from all of you. So, here it is. Please let me know how I can improve for future teases, or if I should continue making teases for the future.

Let me know what you think, and don't be afraid to be honest and open.

Thanks a lot of taking your time to read this, to play through my first tease, and for giving me your questions, comments, and/or complaints.

You absolutely should make more teases. Teases are what make Milovana's wheels turn. I would prefer some human beings in a few though. All joking aside, I think it it is cool to see someone who has been lurking for so long decide to throw their hat in the ring and create some teases.

I liked the style and the strength of writing in the tease. It might be good for you to transform some ideas like that in the future and find some way to use or introduce human models into the fantasy. I think that would be a big plus personally.

I'm not saying you should quit giving fans of the fantasy animation what they want though. I just think you should make some teases with "real" models too. I have an idea for you. You could try making a tease or a series combining fantasy worlds. I mean have the fantasy worlds collide visually! Maybe bring the "cartoon" girl to "real" life somehow and introduce your "real" model into the tease. You have work to do!

I'm only offering my opinion and you probably already know there are over 23,000 members on here and if they all posted you would probably get over 23,000 different opinions! I know feedback is important to authors. Especially new ones even if it is just based on a preference or trying to offer them ideas. Good Luck!

Sexytimes 5 wrote:You absolutely should make more teases. Teases are what make Milovana's wheels turn. I would prefer some human beings in a few though. All joking aside, I think it it is cool to see someone who has been lurking for so long decide to throw their hat in the ring and create some teases.

I liked the style and the strength of writing in the tease. It might be good for you to transform some ideas like that in the future and find some way to use or introduce human models into the fantasy. I think that would be a big plus personally.

I'm not saying you should quit giving fans of the fantasy animation what they want though. I just think you should make some teases with "real" models too. I have an idea for you. You could try making a tease or a series combining fantasy worlds. I mean have the fantasy worlds collide visually! Maybe bring the "cartoon" girl to "real" life somehow and introduce your "real" model into the tease. You have work to do!

I'm only offering my opinion and you probably already know there are over 23,000 members on here and if they all posted you would probably get over 23,000 different opinions! I know feedback is important to authors. Especially new ones even if it is just based on a preference or trying to offer them ideas. Good Luck!

Actually, that is a really great idea. It would be kind of like a Cool World type of tease. An animated woman trying to become real. This is a fantastic idea! I certainly have my work cut out for me, considering I'll have to find a real life model who resembles a drawn girl and I have a painful lack of pictures of real life women on my computer.

And hey, if I can get 23,000 opinions there are bound to be some really great ones, right? Also, a lot of comments and complaints can only help me to make better and better teases.

Again, your idea is really cool and I'm going to have to start working on it asap. Thanks for the idea!

I took a quick glance at your tease. I do not have much time before I have to run out the door today, but I would encourage you to make more. The biggest thing that stood out is that you've actually taken the time to spell words correctly and try to make an involved and interesting storyline.

Without sounding like an elitist ass, the horrible spelling in many of the teases on here is one of the biggest turn-offs there is. Some of them are written like a teenager's text messages and they are almost painful to read.

When you get sparked by another idea, definitely make another one. I'm sure you'll find an audience for it.

[Edited to add:] My personal opinion is that having to type a number into the address bar to get to a certain page depending on choice/situation, is kinda cumbersome. I'm not a fan of that at all. If you can do choices in the normal teases, please learn how to. If not, maybe it's a good thing to learn the Flash process. Just my two cents.

From pure style and descriptive text, your tease might be the best on Milo so far. Great Job =D

Oho, I didn't expect what I got when I opened this tease, it was a pleasant surprise for me. "Ohh, THAT 'Velvet Room'!"

"I have heard of people going to places where other people remove their clothing for money, watching you now is leading me to understand why they would do such a thing. This is very entertaining."

I recognized the look of the character when I saw her, but this line made me remember the character's personality from the game and made the rest of the tease more enjoyable.

Also I actually prefer seeing these sorts of choose-your-own-adventure teases with a lot of text in classic style. If there were more pictures/choices and less text per page, then I'd say Flash would be better. If there's only one bad end, though, maybe stick that at the end so you only have to type something in if you fail.

sendell wrote:Oho, I didn't expect what I got when I opened this tease, it was a pleasant surprise for me. "Ohh, THAT 'Velvet Room'!"

"I have heard of people going to places where other people remove their clothing for money, watching you now is leading me to understand why they would do such a thing. This is very entertaining."

I recognized the look of the character when I saw her, but this line made me remember the character's personality from the game and made the rest of the tease more enjoyable.

Also I actually prefer seeing these sorts of choose-your-own-adventure teases with a lot of text in classic style. If there were more pictures/choices and less text per page, then I'd say Flash would be better. If there's only one bad end, though, maybe stick that at the end so you only have to type something in if you fail.

Wow, that never even crossed my mind about putting the bad end all the way at the end so you only have to type something in if you fail. I will have to make a note of this idea for future teases. >_> <_< future future teases and not the tease i just published. Sorry. My fault.

Also, thank you for those kind words. I'm glad you could enjoy the tease even more once you remembered the character's personality. Although, isn't that line much later in the tease and near the end? I guess I should have improved on her lines a bit more to make her feel more like Elizabeth.

As for flash teases. Creating one of those frightens me and makes me cower under my computer desk.

LittleElfBoy wrote:From pure style and descriptive text, your tease might be the best on Milo so far. Great Job =D

Wow. Uh. I have no idea how to respond to such lofty praise. Thank you, thank you very much for such high words. I am happy I could make you happy.

Obviously I have told you what I think over PMs but I really REALLY liked this tease! It stayed VERY true to the character and I just loved the pictures you picked. It had enough description and it was really fun to read!

You should TOTALLY make more! <3

There really should be more hentai teases on this site like ours. <3