Milovana.com

Hey everyone,

I am a nineteen year old male who leads a normal, healthy sex life. My current girlfriend knows nothing of my T&D fetish although some in the past have.

Although I don't masturbate too often, maybe once a week, I usually do so on this website. I am particularly fond of the teases that instruct me to edge quickly and repeatedly, however this may be causing me problems.

You see, I have recently started having problems with premature ejaculation, maybe five or so minutes into sex. I am beginning to wonder if this is the fault of my masturbatory habits, where I am often trying to get to the edge as quickly as possible in some teases. Maybe I get so used to achieving orgasm quickly that it carries over into sex?

I suppose I should do more of the teases that prolong the stroking, but to be honest whenever a tease tells me to stroke for X number of minutes I get rather bored and bypass those instructions. Perhaps if I were more diligent...

Anyway, the premature ejaculation has never really been a problem in the past and I would like to remedy my problem as quickly as possible. I will probably start masturbating and trying not to hit the edge for a certain number of minutes; I hope that will help out.

thoughts?

My first thought is that you're not masturbating enough. Once a week? That's quite infrequent for most men. If I had gone a few days without masturbating, I wouldn't last very long with a woman either.

It seems however that this is a relatively new problem you're having, so my only suggestion would be to see a doctor. Also read up on "PE" on the world wide interweb.

Taking in your story, and looking back at the experiences I've had, I'd say your bored with having sex with your partner because it doesn't entertain you enough. The sensation of situations that occur on this website could be making traditional sexual relations a tad bit less exciting.
My advice would be to spice it up a little, but slowly. I don't think I'd throw it all out there at once, but a little spice might go a long way if you know what I mean (ha ha).
I hope had some help for you.

Personally, I've noticed a fairly direct correlation between the time I spend in front of the computer (i.e., looking at porn) and the problems I face in relationships (sexual or otherwise). Because you already suspect it may be an issue, I'd seriously consider taking a month or so off from this and other sites. After the month, you can re-evaluate your situation. If the sexual problems are still there, by all means download all the porn you want. On the other hand if you find life getting a little better, then leave the porn out or, maybe bring it back slowly. Hope this helps

Homanogic wrote:I suppose I should do more of the teases that prolong the stroking, but to be honest whenever a tease tells me to stroke for X number of minutes I get rather bored and bypass those instructions. Perhaps if I were more diligent...

Well, from my perspective this sounds like the likely reason for your problem. If you try to get to the edge quickly, that's what you'll get good at. You should start learning to control your arousal the other way.

Your own idea sounds most reasonable to me. You need to learn self-discipline.

My guess would be that through this site, you learned very well what gets you going and you can trigger arousal pretty much at will. More arousal -> Faster to orgasm. Maybe you can counter it by thinking about something non-sexual entirely. Yes I know that's lame, but it's an option.

Another point is that the libido reaches it's peak somewhere around 21 (Source: Sexual Secrets, Discovery Health), so maybe you've simply reached yours.

Maybe you can also read up on oral sex and give her a head start with your tongue. If you haven't got the skills, get some magic help.

I know it's all not as easy as I make it sound. Just make sure you keep your cool. Everybody has a problem like this at some point in their lives, it's no big deal.

Dude... you are missing the whole concept of this site... Everybody here is a wanker and most of us enjoy a sex life with our partners.. We have a fetish and this is our outlet.. My wife told me she would NEVER be my mistress or DOMINATE me... well ... I have become her submissive by ACTING like a submissive in the bedroom.. I rub her feet... give her full body massages while I am naked and erect... I hold off touching or pressing unless SHE wants sex... When we have sex, I am totally focused on foreplay and holding back from "pushing my prick".. when we get into fucking, I ask her before I cum... Now she is telling me ... cum baby cum.. and it's party time.

If she is not in the mood for sex, I ask her to PLEASE help me cum.. she sits her ass on my chest and jerks my dick with fast and slow motions until I am squirming... my mental game is to hold off as long as I can while wispering "mistress' under my breath... Her "cue" to make me squirt is when I pull her hips back and start kissing her ass cheeks... her button is off limits but occassionally I get a little lick in... She grabbs my dick in her left hand, strokes fast and smacks my balls with her right... "cum baby cum"... Guess what happens...

She has gotten into bellydancing and now I am her "cabana boy: (better than being a slave) She dances for her cabana boy and he rubs her feet.. NO TOUCHING THE DANCER>>> she slaps my hand away... We go to a hafla and she teases me about how sexy her friends are... back at home... she gets half undressed, leaves her sexy bra on... sits on my cock and punches my nipples until I am a bucking bronco... She cums and I flip her over to taste the "Goddess nectar"... Then the cabana boy gets to fuck that sopping wet puss doggy style... Hope the kids were sleeping...

Don't be selfish and you will get the girl of your dreams... Do a tease !

once a week, WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! if only I had I could do it once a week, at least three times a day for me lol, one in the morning, one in the afternoon and one in the evening, thats unless I have sex.

I think you need to spank your monkey more lol

I have gone a long time without sex
on several occasions

The reason your exploding so fast is that
masterbation is nothing like sex

She's warm wet and inviting
and visulaly physically stimulating

The closest any of wankers get to the 'real' thing
is a masterbation toy
The fleshlight or something that completely covers you
use lots of lube
and watch a vid of a women masterbating on youporn
and try NOT to cum in 10 minutes.

That said,
If your quick on the trigger
then wait for it!
please her with hand, mouth, ect.
give her three, four orgasms before you get anything!
it's always better to give than recieve anyway

Andrew

i have often worried about a connection between my kinks (especially related to T&D) & sexual problems. Yes if i hold out a long time (by myself) then have sex with someone, i don't last very long. Truth is 10 minutes has always been a norm for me. (if not long) But i have worried about another thing.

Sometimes after lots of edging & stopping. & in fact after doing this for a few years. i can't get it up all the time. I "get hard now!" forget it. i worry that that is from to much teasing. Is my cock learning to not be "fooled"?

Also, what about milking? I very seriously worry about this act leading to prostate problems. Course i know better than to ask a medical question on the net, let alone on an entertainment site. but none the less i did.

toybdsm wrote:...Also, what about milking? I very seriously worry about this act leading to prostate problems...

Based on my humble knowledge, if anything, prostate milking should be good for your prostate, it shouldn't cause any problems.

toybdsm wrote:Sometimes after lots of edging & stopping. & in fact after doing this for a few years. i can't get it up all the time. I "get hard now!" forget it. i worry that that is from to much teasing. Is my cock learning to not be "fooled"?

It may just be that you ae becoming desensitized to it. It's like building a tolerance to what you've been doing so it takes more or stranger stuff to get you going. Think of the older married couples who have to do stuff to 'spice up' their relationships. It's just that people (and your cock) eventually get sick of the 'same old same old'.

Argie Slave wrote:

toybdsm wrote:...Also, what about milking? I very seriously worry about this act leading to prostate problems...

Based on my humble knowledge, if anything, prostate milking should be good for your prostate, it shouldn't cause any problems.

I would suggest making sure you take whatever precautions you deem necessary when doing it though, like plenty of lube, make sure finger nails are trimmed so they don't cause tears, etc.

But as far as medical risks/benefits go, I'd check with someone who's done it before.

I think it's cute that the most common advice to "I have a probably masturbation-caused sexual problem" is "masturbate more!"

Seriously though, it's a common problem with men that they get used to a particular technique in masturbation (the "death grip" is an example) and this interferes with their enjoyment of sex with a partner.

My advice is to vary your technique, and try laying off the edging for a while.

Also, you need to communicate with your girlfriend about the problem. Say "hey, so you might have noticed I've been cuming fast. I think that might be because of the way I've been masturbating. I'd like to work together on this." Communication is super important. That way, your "problem" can be something that brings your together instead of something that comes between you.

Finally, let me agree with seraph0x and say that there's basically no sexual relationship that can't be improved by the guy giving more head.

There's a fine line between sexual activity reinforcing things that turn you on, and making you de-sensitized to it.

Also, there's a fine line between cumming 'pre-maturely' because you're just do damn turned on you can't help it...and it being a legitimate problem.


Do the sensations of sex with her just push you over the edge too quickly?

Are you fantasizing about other things during sex and feeling guilty that you should be enoying it more...that you should be more mentally involved?

These are 2 different situations that need to be dealt with differently.

-L