Milovana.com

Hi,

I'm new here and have had some issues for a while so I'm just looking for some answers.

Sex and masturbation have not been as enjoyable for me for a few years now. The main thing is that when I orgasm, there isn't much sensation. There's not much more than a mild sensation--definitely nothing explosive/mind blowing. From what I've read around this site a full orgasm is generally equal if not worse to a ruined orgasm. Orgasm feels more like a mild relief than it does orgasmic. Sex itself feels good, but the orgasms just aren't there anymore. This seems to be the case weather or not if I've had an orgasm recently or if there has been a few days in between. This applies with my fiance or through masturbation. Even if I go several days without ejaculating and edge many times resulting in more contractions at the base of my penis and more semen it still remains unsatisfying and not all that pleasurable. I have been PC / Kegal muscle exercises for several months and some prostate stimulation as well but I don't feel that they have helped much. I've had little to no loss in sex drive as well.


Please don't give me some "all in your head" or "could be stress" answers. In the past, I have been to two doctors and neither of them showed much interest in helping me diagnose this. One just handed me some Cialis samples, when I don't have any ED issues saying that it might help with sensation. I have had a testesterone I am trying to get another opinion and hopefully with that a referral and appointment with a urologist who specializes in sexual dysfunctions. I want to go there with some info in hand of what might need to be discussed/explored. I have had a testosterone test done but I fall within the normal levels.

I'm 26, uncircumcised, have a good diet and exercise regularly. No drugs or smoking and I only drink socially several times a year.

Has anyone else experienced this or know what steps I should take now?


Thanks

Watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zif0_60b3WU

I am not sure what to say
if medical personnel have not been helpful.

How often are you having orgasms? every day? once a week?
once a month?

how long do you do "foreplay"
before an orgasm?

most importantly
what are you "turn on"

You did give a good description of what you have tried, looked at.
Just wondering how I can help
So I hate to say it but I for one, will need more details.

are you having sex with same sex individuals? or opposite?
are you in a "committed" relationship?
what about partner ideas, suggestions?

Apologies for a lot of questions with
no "answer"
but there are a Lot of factors involved.
hoping we can help.

I've found that orgasms are an emotional thing (for me). I only rarely orgasm when cumming (either?); on the other hand, I've orgasmed while getting shaved with a straight razor (in a strange country--in fear for my life). It helps to be taken to your spiritual/selfhood _edge_ -- and not just your physical/friction edge. Sorry to get philosophical on you, but have you ever explored Tantra? I have no advice on where to start. I'm too close to it to explain it. The important thing is to be overwhelmed by the danger of the moment, the physical moment running through your body and to really climax/die.

Just small observations-- that may not be of any help to you. More practically: try massage. [Don't worry about the "happy ending"-- that will come :) in time...]

Good luck.

-asb

I am not a doctor....but I had a thought in the medical area. It's possible that there is some form of nerve damage and that is why you are feeling things the way you believe you should.

As a person that can have edges and orgasms without touching.....and I have different kinds of orgasms, as well, ranging from "was that it" to "mind blowing", I suppose that I have learned to accept and....well, love each one, no matter what kind it is. Some of the orgasms that have hardly any sensations physically, were so intense emotionally or mentally, that they stick out more then the ones where my whole body shutters for minutes afterwards.

Once the tests are done and if no medical solution is found, then accepting what is and finding ways and things to enjoy about the experience beyond the "final sensation" may be what you have to do, in order to find all the joy in life that can be found. *gentle smile*

SexualChoc wrote:I am not sure what to say
if medical personnel have not been helpful.

How often are you having orgasms? every day? once a week?
once a month?

how long do you do "foreplay"
before an orgasm?

most importantly
what are you "turn on"

You did give a good description of what you have tried, looked at.
Just wondering how I can help
So I hate to say it but I for one, will need more details.

are you having sex with same sex individuals? or opposite?
are you in a "committed" relationship?
what about partner ideas, suggestions?

Apologies for a lot of questions with
no "answer"
but there are a Lot of factors involved.
hoping we can help.

Thanks for the detailed reply.

The duration of foreplay and sex are always different but lets say both generally last around 15-20min each so from start of physical stimulation to orgasm is around 30-40min. We have tried to extend session to as long as 2 hours but it doesn't really seem to help. My fiance and I have also tried having sex multiple times a day for a few weeks to having it once a week to see if it would help. Before we started any of this we would generally have sex 4-6 times a week. We've been together for nearly 3 years now and I'm not sure when this became an issue for me. At least a year or 2 before we've been together.

My fiancee was actually the one who suggested doing kegals and prostate stimulation. She got me into yoga to see if that would help as well. I am very attracted to her but its just that sex doesn't feel all that great and my orgasms are terrible. One thing I forgot to mention was that my doctor thought it might be performance anxiety but I don't think that is the issue at all. In my teens before I even started having sex I read a lot to get ready when I did started. That included making sure your partner has orgasmed before penetration. So unless my fiancee has been lying to me a lot she is happy and satisfied in bed. In fact it took me a while to have the guts to tell her of my issue since I thought it could hurt our relationship.

As for what turns me on. Hmm. A pretty face, seductive talk, roleplaying and the idea of satisfying my partner. We have tried all this but is hasn't helped. As I stated before I don't have any issue with my libido or getting turned on.

Thanks again

shell wrote:I am not a doctor....but I had a thought in the medical area. It's possible that there is some form of nerve damage and that is why you are feeling things the way you believe you should.

As a person that can have edges and orgasms without touching.....and I have different kinds of orgasms, as well, ranging from "was that it" to "mind blowing", I suppose that I have learned to accept and....well, love each one, no matter what kind it is. Some of the orgasms that have hardly any sensations physically, were so intense emotionally or mentally, that they stick out more then the ones where my whole body shutters for minutes afterwards.

Once the tests are done and if no medical solution is found, then accepting what is and finding ways and things to enjoy about the experience beyond the "final sensation" may be what you have to do, in order to find all the joy in life that can be found. *gentle smile*

Thank you for replying.

I had thought about nerve damage but the idea sucks since there isn't anything that can be done. General stimulation isn't much either so its more then just the end result. Overall I'm probably more satisfied with my sex life then ever even with this issue. I just thought that this might become a problem down the line so better to fix it now then later.

Any advice on how to enjoy sex more beyond the sensation would be great if anyone can offer any.


Thanks and have a great day all

I'm all about multiple orgasms, and I have had plenty of orgasms that have flat out HURT!

But in that hurt I felt a sense of pleasure at being totally drained and satisfied.
Of course, the last one usually leaves me screaming.
Seven or eight orgasms in a row tend to have that affect on a guy.

Bill

There are a few things that you can try:

1) Try to have an orgasm without stimulating your cock. You can try anal, ball play, nipple play, or even try to orgasm with thought(and visual/audible aids) alone.

2) Hypnosis. I suggest you try Jackpot by Isabella Valentine. This is not easy for everyone though. It might take 1 try or 10 to orgasm like this from what I hear. If Jackpot doesn't work for you, you might try other audios that take a different approach.(There are a lot of options here.)

Both these methods focus either on other erogenous areas or purely on the brain, so any nerve damage is taken out of the equation. Orgasms are a purely mental thing after all. Physical stimulation of your cock is just one way of getting there.

Lastly I'd like to note that, as far as I know(not a doctor), it is possible that vitamin and other chemical deficiencies are the problem. Another possible cause is back problems(the spine in particular). If your spine isn't aligned properly, some nerves might get clamped down.
I know you've already seen medical professionals, but they don't always take all the options into account.

I hope this helps you.