Milovana.com

I've begun writing the fourth chapter of Jenny's journey of denial and submission. The delay was caused by open heart surgery! A further delay ensued because an unexpected side affect was loss of dexterity in my right hand - I still can't type as well as I used to, but I'm getting better.

My fiendish mind has plans for Jenny, but I'm also glad to take suggestions for Jenny, other servants, or situations that fit within the TDK (Theluka Despozousa Koinonia - Female Dominant Sorority).

I'll consider all suggestions, reserving the right to modify them and to use or not use them. A few sentences describing your idea for me to elaborate on. Any ideas used will become part of my copywritten story, though if you request it, I'll include credit to your Milovana account here and in other publishing venues.

michele

That great news. I have to go and reread the series again, so I can get some ideas. Also, I glad that you are feeling better

I am glad you are on the mend, heart surgery is serious in any shape or form I assume.

Anyway, your writing is no short of fantastic and I can hardly wait to see how Jenny's future turns out

Thanks to you both for your replies and compliments.

michele

Glad to year the recovery is going well :) I'll see if I can think up some ideas.

Looksee

Some more feedback: you occasionally mess up the names, which hurts the immersion somewhat. Easy mistake, but important to avoid. Building a good image of what a girl called Veronica is like, then accidentally calling her Vanessa in a few sentences hurts the personality building and credibility a bit. In short, be very consequent with the names :) other than that, your stories are amazing.

A few ideas for progression:

Special nights or occasions...

More elaborate bdsm, such as specific bondage, cbt, electro, etc..

Group sessions/orgies...

Failures/accidental cumming with punishment...

Just a few hooks

Janmb,

I appreciate your criticism. I thought I'd found all those name errors, darn it.

I will probably incorporate all your suggestions as the story develops. Group sex/orgies are harder to write than to participate in. In a print orgy, you have to keep track of every genital, orifice, and other parts. In a flesh orgy, you don't keep track of anyone else, just insert, engulf, or receive.

Your post encourages me. I'm going to send this and spend 2 hours on the next chapter. I want to get Jenny out of the lingerie shop and back to the sorority.

Thanks again,

michele

micheleFFS wrote:Your post encourages me.

So glad to hear that - since encouraging further development of an already great story is obviously the goal - not to pick on your existing material

Totally agree on your views on group/orgy scenes - would probably work better in any other context than text stories.

Also another idea I truly pray you will try some time: Write an interactive version of this concept in the form of a flash webtease Would been truly awesome having to experience a similar/slightly unpredictable version of the sorority acceptance tests as a flash tease story

Would been truly awesome having to experience a similar/slightly unpredictable version of the sorority acceptance tests as a flash tease story

The suggestion has been made before. Huge amount of work. Rewrite as 2nd person or from the girls' perspectives. Gather appropriate pictures and keep them consistent. Learn the system. Compile and error check.

I realize there are many helps to write my first webtease, and I suppose I'll do it someday. But I probably won't rework the stories already published. But to make an incident in the story a webtease is more likely.

Who is Jana? I'm curious. Perhaps tell me more in a PM?

michele

Glad to hear you are back to writing! Hope your recovery continues to go well :)

Will be looking forward to reading more of Jenny's adventures... in fact I don't think I finished reading everything you posted last time. I'll have to go correct that now!

I hope you're well and ready to write more soon - can't wait for more of your stories - and especially to see the sorority theme continued