Chat Room Whispers and PM's
Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 4:01 pm
Hello *Smile*
I am apprehensive about writing this thread. I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not trying to start some form of argument. Nor am I pointing fingers at anyone, to this, I give you my word.
I'm not really sure why people share things that they do, with me, but they do. And there has been something that has been shared enough that I think a discussion should be approached concerning it.
The topic is the attack an quick removal of people from the chat rooms, that whisper or PM without asking to do so.
I am aware, as are those that have talked to me, that there is a "Milovana Chat: Code of Conduct" at
http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=7867
A well written one, thank you Mistress Jenifer *Soft smile*
There are some people that join Milo and are excited about a new web site. They begin to move around the site. They see the choices above and click on "Chat".
They are taken to the Chat "enter a room" page.
Nowhere on that page is there a link to the Code of Conduct.
And yes, the link pops up periodically while in the room, however I'm sure that not to many people are going to click on a link to the Code, especially when they are new and trying to figure out the navigation of the room.
At other chat sites, when you click on a link to a chat room, it takes you to a page that explains the rules and some go as far as to give instructions for the room. For instance, for Milo, one could be on how to speak directly to someone, or how to personalize their "status" before even entering the room.
I thought there might have been a link to the Code posted at the top, as you enter each room. But I have just verified and there is not. However, if there was, it would be scrolled up very quickly, getting lost to anyone that doesn't know how to pause the scrolling.
So assumptions are made that new people have read the Code, when in fact they probably don't even realize one exists.
***
As these new people enter, some of them are coming from chat rooms where PMing, or whispering is not frowned upon. They click a name, say something to that person, privately, and within a minute or less they not only get spoken harshly to, but find themselves outside of the chat room, unable to get back in, for a few minutes, wondering what happened.
Then you have that infernal tick that is automatic that causes people to whisper. Why oh why can't the html code be written so that you have to tick the whisper box in order to whisper. By default, the room is set up for us to make mistakes. I make that mistake all the time. Because of my connection speed, I am usually able to apologize very quickly.
***
Now comes an area that some of us are finding ourselves faced with.
We get a PM or whisper from someone. We have three choices.
1. Tell the person privately not to do this again. This option forces those of us that do not wish to whisper or PM, to do exactly that.
2. Ignore the private contact, which in my opinion isn't polite.
3. Say something publicly to the person. But this is the most problematic solution. If you say something publicly, then the person is spoken harshly to, by a few other members, and if there is a mod in the room, a warning is issued. Although, if the person, doing like they have done in other chat rooms, sends the same greeting, privately to several people, and those individuals say something in public, then that seems to act as a "three strikes - you are out" scenario.
So because of what happens with "number 3" some of us are doing what is not comfortable to us, just to keep a possible newcomer from being talked to harshly or removed suddenly.
***
I do realize that there are those out there that have read the Code, have been warned repeatedly that PM's and whispers are not allowed, without permission. Those of us that are regulars, know them by name. For me, I block them, as soon as I see them enter. That way, I am not bothered by their rude behavior.
***
I propose this.
If someone PM's or whispers you, that we have the freedom to speak publicly to the person, asking them not to speak privately to us, or anyone else, without permission.
That in our asking, no one else need say anything to that person, unless they were sent a private note as well.
If the person does not cease, and the member is not wishing to deal with it any further, then they look to one of the mods in the room for assistance.
If no mod is present, a quick public note can be issued saying that you are blocking that person, and do so.
***
Again, this is not finger pointing. This is me sticking my neck out, a bit nervous to do so, to express a problem that has been brought to me, more then three times.
Thanks for listening and for any input you would like to add. *Smile*
Shell
I am apprehensive about writing this thread. I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not trying to start some form of argument. Nor am I pointing fingers at anyone, to this, I give you my word.
I'm not really sure why people share things that they do, with me, but they do. And there has been something that has been shared enough that I think a discussion should be approached concerning it.
The topic is the attack an quick removal of people from the chat rooms, that whisper or PM without asking to do so.
I am aware, as are those that have talked to me, that there is a "Milovana Chat: Code of Conduct" at
http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=7867
A well written one, thank you Mistress Jenifer *Soft smile*
There are some people that join Milo and are excited about a new web site. They begin to move around the site. They see the choices above and click on "Chat".
They are taken to the Chat "enter a room" page.
Nowhere on that page is there a link to the Code of Conduct.
And yes, the link pops up periodically while in the room, however I'm sure that not to many people are going to click on a link to the Code, especially when they are new and trying to figure out the navigation of the room.
At other chat sites, when you click on a link to a chat room, it takes you to a page that explains the rules and some go as far as to give instructions for the room. For instance, for Milo, one could be on how to speak directly to someone, or how to personalize their "status" before even entering the room.
I thought there might have been a link to the Code posted at the top, as you enter each room. But I have just verified and there is not. However, if there was, it would be scrolled up very quickly, getting lost to anyone that doesn't know how to pause the scrolling.
So assumptions are made that new people have read the Code, when in fact they probably don't even realize one exists.
***
As these new people enter, some of them are coming from chat rooms where PMing, or whispering is not frowned upon. They click a name, say something to that person, privately, and within a minute or less they not only get spoken harshly to, but find themselves outside of the chat room, unable to get back in, for a few minutes, wondering what happened.
Then you have that infernal tick that is automatic that causes people to whisper. Why oh why can't the html code be written so that you have to tick the whisper box in order to whisper. By default, the room is set up for us to make mistakes. I make that mistake all the time. Because of my connection speed, I am usually able to apologize very quickly.
***
Now comes an area that some of us are finding ourselves faced with.
We get a PM or whisper from someone. We have three choices.
1. Tell the person privately not to do this again. This option forces those of us that do not wish to whisper or PM, to do exactly that.
2. Ignore the private contact, which in my opinion isn't polite.
3. Say something publicly to the person. But this is the most problematic solution. If you say something publicly, then the person is spoken harshly to, by a few other members, and if there is a mod in the room, a warning is issued. Although, if the person, doing like they have done in other chat rooms, sends the same greeting, privately to several people, and those individuals say something in public, then that seems to act as a "three strikes - you are out" scenario.
So because of what happens with "number 3" some of us are doing what is not comfortable to us, just to keep a possible newcomer from being talked to harshly or removed suddenly.
***
I do realize that there are those out there that have read the Code, have been warned repeatedly that PM's and whispers are not allowed, without permission. Those of us that are regulars, know them by name. For me, I block them, as soon as I see them enter. That way, I am not bothered by their rude behavior.
***
I propose this.
If someone PM's or whispers you, that we have the freedom to speak publicly to the person, asking them not to speak privately to us, or anyone else, without permission.
That in our asking, no one else need say anything to that person, unless they were sent a private note as well.
If the person does not cease, and the member is not wishing to deal with it any further, then they look to one of the mods in the room for assistance.
If no mod is present, a quick public note can be issued saying that you are blocking that person, and do so.
***
Again, this is not finger pointing. This is me sticking my neck out, a bit nervous to do so, to express a problem that has been brought to me, more then three times.
Thanks for listening and for any input you would like to add. *Smile*
Shell
