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FB: Backfire

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 3:10 pm
by Incubo
This tease is mostly story, so I'm sure some of you won't like it, but feel free to share your opinions.
If you chose the skip options...I already know it's too short. I did warn you of that up front. :-P

For those who chose to read the whole story: I'm especially curious to hear ideas about how you might "escape" this predicament.

Edit: Poll added.

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 4:46 pm
by les


I loved it story and all I just love sucker punch stories.
I hope you can now develop this into a series as the ground work is done.
For story haters he could be seen to enjoy is initial victories a bit more to make the ending more dramatic,
But heh its your story.



.................................................
Les

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 4:59 pm
by SomeOne
My plans:
- Wait until i can get out of the house without getting shocked, then try to steal that remote thing, and escape. (before that, find out anything i can about how the device works, and what remotes can be controlled from where)
- Try to find out who and recorded the situation in the bureau. There has to be an original tape somewhere, to proof things. (Still not really good to show to the police, but better than this version..)
- Find out about her other toys. Are they here voluntary? If not, join forces.
- When allowed to go out of the house: Bring some type of recorder (audio or video) back to the house, and record things, for later use.
- Buy a new mobile phone, if possible unknown to sasha. All calls that might not be to her pleasure, use this one for. Especially calling the police, if i decide so. (Suspicion: She is monitoring my other phones)

- Extreme: (if nothing else works and things get worse) Kill Sasha, and sneak around the house, depending on her other toys attitude, to find controls and so on.

Hm.. i am sure there are more ideas ;)

I like the writing, keep up :)

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 5:17 pm
by dtspam
Great story. I like teases best that combine a more sophisticated plot with instructions. For my taste, there could be a bit more teasing instructions in there though (without cutting back on the story).
Your Bermuda Triangle Series gets in just right.

Oh the escape plans: Use a steel chastity belt to cut of the communication with the remote ones I'm allowed outside the house, figure out, how to get to the video.

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 5:49 pm
by sleepy_rob
Great tease. Love the background story and that device sounds pretty damn interesting. Shame it wasn't longer or had any closure thought (are you going to add to it or do a backfire 2?).

My plan to escape would be steal the remote (possbily when she is dead to the world having one of her orgasms cos she seemed pretty out of it) and leave the country. I would leave the chip in though, imaging being able to actually completely control your own cock. You could have sex for hours!

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:36 pm
by hhhobo
I don't normally like story teases, but this one is terrific. I recognize how much work it is, but I would love to see this as the first in a series of teases. Each one could be a day in his ordeal, set up so that the viewer can undergo the same stroking and punishment that our protagonist has to do. Perhaps after he goes back to work, he is able to confide with a female friend, and they are able to get some goods on the domme. They negotiate a compromise, where he agrees to come back every now and then to be teased. He also finds a surgeon who is able to remove the device safely.

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 11:47 pm
by Ktulu
Very nice tease indeed. You got a good balance between storytelling and "action".

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:31 am
by d3vi0n
I loved your Bermuda Triangle...

Same apllies here. Great idea, beautiful written and nice pacing. :)

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:53 am
by Incubo
Thanks guys.
Yes, I am considering making this a series. Don't know how long it'll be though. Sandra doesn't have a lot of solo picture sets. She mostly does lesbian stuff, but since she did mention "other toys" I might be able to use some of those too.

I hadn't considered the steel cage interfering the remote. Good idea.

I hadn't considered the more extreme suggestion of killing anyone either. Seems a bit much. Killing Sasha doesn't really solve anything either. Sandra is the one in control here. Plus, now you'd be a murderer...seems like that would cause more problems, not less.

Stealing the remote during one of her orgasms was actually my first thought. Like you said though, it doesn't solve the blackmail issue, so you'd have to figure out how to take care of that first. Can you find the original to prove your innocence? Given that what you were doing was illegal anyway, you would at the very least lose your job if you turn that over. Might be worth it if things get a lot worse I suppose....

I can only think of one way out that is somewhat "clean." You'd still be stuck with the device, but that's not such a bad thing if you're in control of it yourself. Of course, I can't tell you what that is right now because I haven't worked out the details. The Devil's always in the details. :lol:

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:28 pm
by ThomasKu
I really liked the story as an introduction to more to come. I'm looking forward to many teasing sessions with some of Sandras Toys. Especially the one where Sasha is supposed to tease you really good.

Escaping seems rather difficult since you are blackmailed and I guess most of the other Toys are too in some way. So trying to join forced with them in order to flee would probably end up in being betrayed by them and punished by Sandra...

When you can finally get out of the house, first thing I'd do is seek for a very good engineer who can find out the frequency of the remote which is controling your implant and build your own remote to it. Then I'd start thinking about turning it off. (It must have some kind of battery integrated, otherwise it wouldn't do a thing. Just a thought.)
But for the final escape you have to solve your blackmailing issue. And the best way to do so is with some help of Sasha. Because if she would tell the police that the tape is fake and nothing like that ever happened, you would be a free man. So in order to make her do this you'd have to find out much more about why she is a slave to Sandra. And of course help her escape, so she is willing to help you finally.

...and both of you live happily ever after :yes:

P.S.: Doesn't work if she is a slave by choice and doesn't like you...

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:52 am
by Incubo
ThomasKu wrote: P.S.: Doesn't work if she is a slave by choice and doesn't like you...
Unfortunately, both are true. She's already said she hates you and Sandra mentioned that Sasha was her willing slave. ;-)

The battery is another interesting thought. I guess I totally neglected to even think about the power source that such a device would need. Let's see.....A battery eventually runs out and would have to be replaced, which would mean yet another surgery at some point to replace it.....that seems like it'd be a pain in the butt. I guess the easiest thing to do would be to draw power for the device from your own body somehow. Then it wouldn't run out unless you die. I'm not an electrical engineer or anything, so I have no idea if that's even possible, but what the hell? This is fiction right? :lol:

Thanks jp. Though you may want to see what's in store before committing yourself to actually doing it. Heck, I'm not even sure yet what fetishes we're going to explore just yet.

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:17 pm
by ThomasKu
Incubo wrote:She's already said she hates you and Sandra mentioned that Sasha was her willing slave. ;-)
Well, a slave is supposed to be willing. I guess otherwise Sasha wouldn't be let out of the house anyway. And it didn't seem to me that she really hated him, just at that particular moment she hated what he was doing to her. But the escape plan is a long term challenge. I'd rather look forward to some playtime with the other Toys... :-D

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 2:40 pm
by SimpleThunder
Made me wish there already was a part 2 out there ;)

Plan: She needs to keep her slaves clean right? I'd kill her with a sharpened toothbrush :w00t:

Re: FB: Backfire

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 11:44 am
by Incubo
Part 2 is finally ready.
Bit of a slow start, but potentially a LOT more action depending on your choices.
As a hint: Some toys you can play with and get away with it. Some you can't.
Enjoy. :wave:

Re: FB: Backfire p2

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:34 pm
by mandas_whack
In part 2, it seems to get stuck if you don't play with Aria. Maybe I just didn't wait long enough??