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The Quest for Self-Denial

Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 7:27 pm
by Carlcjjohnson
Hi all,

Consider this an appeal to the entire Milovana community in an attempt to re-acquaint myself with T&D and push my own boundaries. You never know, we might all learn something from it!
I don't really post on here as much as I used to. That said, I've been toying with the idea of entering an extended period of orgasm control in the near future. In the absence of any female hand to exert dominance over me, I think I'll try and make use of a little willpower and deny myself!

^ That's pretty much what's in my head, but now I feel a bit lost. My question for you all is - where do I go from here? Telling myself to just stop having orgasms isn't gonna quite cut it obviously. I was thinking that I might start slow and try teasing myself a little over time, perhaps granting orgasm once a week and then going from there.
But there's so much more to T&D than that! When engaging in self-denial, when does one punish oneself for not sticking to the rules? Does one deliver a ruined orgasm? Or a cum-eating task maybe? Or simply elongate the denial period?
I'm throwing the door open to you guys regarding the best way to regulate oneself in this regard. As far as I can tell, I'm going to have to construct a set of rules to abide by, and a set of fitting punishments for not sticking to said rules. As to what those rules and punishments might be, suggestions are welcome. I'm 21 years old, a student, and looking to have structured self-teasing, maybe using a reward system, maybe using porn, but ultimately denying myself until a given cum day.

If this goes well and people seem interested in how effective this journey through self-denial might be, I could post my progress here as a sort of blog. Maybe I could inspire us all into chastity!

So please, shoot any crazy ideas you think might help at me. Once I can figure out how to structure the whole thing, my quest shall begin :-)

Re: The Quest for Self-Denial

Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 7:41 pm
by darkstar
when you refer to self denail do you mean the denial of an orgasme or do you men the denial of any form of stimuli.


one way is chastity, something i find to be very satisfacotry,

i can understand what you are going though in deciding what to do. as for me and chastity durations its the same.

once you answer the initial question of what do i want to be doing? ie constant enging, chastity, a mix (you can) then look at the how long.

Re: The Quest for Self-Denial

Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 11:16 pm
by Carlcjjohnson
darkstar wrote:when you refer to self denail do you mean the denial of an orgasme or do you men the denial of any form of stimuli.


one way is chastity, something i find to be very satisfacotry,

i can understand what you are going though in deciding what to do. as for me and chastity durations its the same.

once you answer the initial question of what do i want to be doing? ie constant enging, chastity, a mix (you can) then look at the how long.
I would in fact emphasise the inclusion of stimuli in the whole thing just to make it that little bit more of a challenge. Then that brings up the question as to whether stimulation can be seen as a reward or a punishment over time. This is getting intriguing indeed, I just gotta figure it out a bit.

Re: The Quest for Self-Denial

Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:41 am
by bookworm
Personally I don't see the point of complete chastity. Without the challenge of self-teasing and orgasm denial I would not bother trying to control myself. I suppose you could buy a chastity device and put the key in the hands of a mistress (there seem to be plenty of sites offering to be a key holder) or just put the key in an inaccessible place (safety deposit box :-) )

I started off just allowing myself one orgasm a week. Any 'mistakes' were ruined. Now I regard any orgasm as a failure and ruin it. I am not into CBT so I don't punish myself in any painful way.

I find the teases here are a great way of maintaining my regime. The 'School of Denial' series are excellent and provide no possibility of release. There are lots more.

Re: The Quest for Self-Denial

Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 11:21 am
by darkstar
with chastity i find there are a great many misconceptions

one is that you wont be getting stimuli. i am all the time. abit not enough to make me edge but it does drive yo crazy

also it needs to be done over a onger period of time

Re: The Quest for Self-Denial

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 2:17 am
by SexualChoc
There is this thread:
http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=3069

I almost heisitate to mention this but
There is Miss Jay
http://www.littlemissjay.com/

or Mistress Alison
http://www.milovana.com/forum/memberlis ... ile&u=1742

And there are those who are very good at Dominating you in Chat too.

But even with a fairly lengthy post
You are still vague on what you want in a dom.
What are your limits? (no CBT, no Anal, or other things you will not do)
How long have you done denial for?

Oh and just to be clear- I will NOT dom you.