Milovana.com

hope you all like it

i will try to improve as time goes on

all constructive criticism welcomed

Its called "I'm in the Garden"

You did an excellent job on your first tease! Keep writing it got me very hot. When I write teases i try to fit different kinds of kinks into the tease. You did a good job with the balls punishment, still a little sore! try to do a little nipple tease, or spanking or whatever comes to mind to add to your next tease.

Have fun with it, i like the younger woman in control theme but anyone in control is good for me!

For a first tease I must say it is great!

Excellent use of the pictures - the face-expression matches the text in pretty must every page! Well done!!

But just telling you that you do great wont help you improve, so I will suggest some point where you could improve: The story, your plot was very simple and easy to follow which is a good thing - But I would like a bit more story (Of course this means more creative work, and if I have to choose I would rather have more works from you than less works and more creativity)
The second thing you could improve on is length - It could be a bit longer I think... (There is a limitation in the number of pictures of course (But pictures can be reused somewhat)). And I guess I would always like good teases to be a bit longer, lol.

I must confess I had to think quite a bit about these improvements, it isnt easy to point out flaws in your tease - Good job!

thanks for your comments, i will try to take them on board for next time!!

as a guide to others / explanantion of what i did is as follows -

i did a quick search through some photos off "thehun" http://www.thehun.com

then i tried to think of a story which match the pictures (you are quite right that there wasn't that many photos so i had to make it a bit shorter than i would like!!)

i believe that if you can make a story a little believable then it adds to the whole tease/denial, as you can imagine it happening to you.

the more a tease can wake your imagination, the better your mind can see

Don't forget that a mans dick is not the biggest sex organ in your body - it is your brain!!!!!!


anyway, sorry for waffling on, maybe i should get on with creating another tease better and bigger.......... :-)