I've been lurking for a long time and finally decided to put pen to paper.
This is going to be series though I'm not sure exactly where or how far it's going yet.
All feedback/criticism/suggestions are welcome.
Feedback: The Interviews: Part 1
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- Explorer At Heart
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Re: Feedback: The Interviews: Part 1
I enjoyed it.
Great writing, nice foreshadowing. Both models were good. Understandably short seeing as it's more of an introduction. Looking forward to seeing the next one.
The wife could get annoyed with the reader for spending too much time with the doms and not enough with her if you're looking for ideas on where to take it. I can think of any number of ways that could lead.
Great writing, nice foreshadowing. Both models were good. Understandably short seeing as it's more of an introduction. Looking forward to seeing the next one.
The wife could get annoyed with the reader for spending too much time with the doms and not enough with her if you're looking for ideas on where to take it. I can think of any number of ways that could lead.
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- Curious Newbie
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Re: Feedback: The Interviews: Part 1
loved it cant wait to see where it leads
Re: Feedback: The Interviews: Part 1
"The wife could get annoyed with the reader for spending too much time with the doms and not enough with her if you're looking for ideas on where to take it. I can think of any number of ways that could lead."
Interesting... I'll see if I can work that in somehow.
Interesting... I'll see if I can work that in somehow.
- Forevergallant
- Explorer At Heart
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Re: Feedback: The Interviews: Part 1
Very nice. Loved the model for the first mistress.
- Vinny Vodka
- Explorer
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Re: Feedback: The Interviews: Part 1
I enjoyed it a lot. One interesting turn I can think of is after a few interviews your wife might be undecided and have the Dommes compete to see which one is best able to control you. Will it be the extreme ballbuster who is ordering you to cum and trying to force you to do so? Or will it be the gentler tease who has ordered you not to cum and is cradling your head in her lap, holding you to give you the strength to resist? If the former you'll be in for a lot of pain and probably won't be coming many more times after this, but the latter Domme wants to keep you humiliated and treat you llike the family dog 24/7. Looking forward to seeing what you do end up doing with it.
- camel
- Explorer At Heart
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Re: Feedback: The Interviews: Part 1
Great story line!
Wow, I remember reading a story like this, years ago, possibly a decade ago. A man was rich, decided to have a mistress, took out an ad, and spent an intense day day of interviews in a hotel. One of the hotel maids figured out what he was up to and took a turn, too. Each mistress was extremely different yet each took immediately took charge.
I like your angle on this better than the story I had read... this is something the reader's character wants but led by the wife.
The interview mistress scared me, actually, because something about her angular face and amount of makeup suggested she might have been a man in drag, which actually made it a little distracting in a fun way. I don't fantasize about that, and therefore the open question of it all fucked with my head.
Same with the possible cuckold angle... why else is she freeing up her time, etc? There is a lack of psychological safety in your story that somehow raised my suspension of disbelief instead of lost it.
If you continue with this, I recommend you skip around and intentionally leave plot time gaps between the teases. The unexplained story line gaps in between could probably fit entire series in themselves that you can fill in later if you want to, and your ability to let the reader's mind wander is something I'd love to see you explore more. For example: If you feel like doing a tease around the wife coming back from a solo vacation, don't worry about what happened to the husband while she was on vacation, just let the story hint at it or, maybe better yet, don't even acknowledge the hole and let the reader struggle with it.
Wow, I remember reading a story like this, years ago, possibly a decade ago. A man was rich, decided to have a mistress, took out an ad, and spent an intense day day of interviews in a hotel. One of the hotel maids figured out what he was up to and took a turn, too. Each mistress was extremely different yet each took immediately took charge.
I like your angle on this better than the story I had read... this is something the reader's character wants but led by the wife.
The interview mistress scared me, actually, because something about her angular face and amount of makeup suggested she might have been a man in drag, which actually made it a little distracting in a fun way. I don't fantasize about that, and therefore the open question of it all fucked with my head.
Same with the possible cuckold angle... why else is she freeing up her time, etc? There is a lack of psychological safety in your story that somehow raised my suspension of disbelief instead of lost it.
If you continue with this, I recommend you skip around and intentionally leave plot time gaps between the teases. The unexplained story line gaps in between could probably fit entire series in themselves that you can fill in later if you want to, and your ability to let the reader's mind wander is something I'd love to see you explore more. For example: If you feel like doing a tease around the wife coming back from a solo vacation, don't worry about what happened to the husband while she was on vacation, just let the story hint at it or, maybe better yet, don't even acknowledge the hole and let the reader struggle with it.
Re: Feedback: The Interviews: Part 1
Great tease! Keep up the good work!
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