Milovana.com

My considered opinion is that most of the "mistresses" online are MEN, not women. I also think that many of the people who lurk in websites such as Milovana are not "for real". If money is involved, it's fraudulent and one is not getting what one paid for. It could also be a crime.

This is why I generally don't play with online mistresses. Having one you can see in the flesh, one you can touch and one who can touch you, is the best way to go. If you seek the anonymity of the internet, you get what you get. You can go to a website that costs you money and see images of women, but you don't know if it was a woman who put them up or a man.

I've often wondered if some of the women on Milovana really are women. Even when you see multiple photos of the person, it could be a man manipulating a photo set that he has obtained.

So, in answer to the questions, whether in person, on the phone or in person, whether paid or not (but absolutely and most certainly if paid, though I don't and never would pay), I want more than a modicum of trust. I'm not interested in guys. If my favorite online, free mistress turned out to be a guy, not only would that totally screw things up, it would be the end of any communication.

In short, I want to know the person I am dealing with is "real".

It's too easy to be exploited, even if money isn't involved.

Indigo wrote:Just out of curiosity, when you deal with someone sexually, do you require a modicum of trust with the individual on the other end of the phone, or computer? And does it make a difference if it's on the PC or phone? Does it matter if it's paid or not?

Let me pose a scenario to you ... what if you found out your favorite Mistress was a guy? Would that just totally screw things up? And would you want to know?

I'd appreciate everybody's two cents here!

Thanks,

Indy

I found that I need the trust for some reason, paying or not. I guess the whole fantasy would be ruined for me if I found out a "Mistress" who advertised herself as a young, attractive female, was a guy instead, or even a large and elderly woman instead of a sweet, young seductress that she claimed to be. I prefer honesty.

I've only done limited online before, not much by phone (only in a capacity with a g.f, never paying for a phone Domme/session). I did lurk for awhile here to get a 'feel' for certain individuals, to make an informed decision as to their true self. I was surprised to read a tease or two and forum posts from a 'Domme' who wanted pets to send pics via email as proof of their tasks and such, and some guys jumped quickly at the chance instead of being cautious, as I was. But it seems tacky to ask someone for proof of who they are, doesn't it? How would/could a sub guy ask that of a Domme without it being misconstrued?

Now, I know Miss Jay could actually, in reality, be 'Dan'... just a guy who takes pics of his willing gf to post here and on Her website. But it is not very realistic in that it would take so much effort on their part that it wouldn't be worth it all. If LMJ was actually Dan or just some guy (sorry Miss Jay, just an example as a far-fetched scenario), I'd want to know, but would applaud him for such an elaborate scheme! (But it would screw things up for me). Yes, I like proof, or at least enough evidence for me to make an educated decision about a Domme.

I solve the trust problem online by occasionally using a pay-cam site, where I can see the girl/Domme I am dealing with on her webcam. Some of them, of course, are better than others at what they do, but at least it's usually fairly obvious to me that I am dealing with a real woman.

This actually happened to me! I responded not paying attention to who I was talking to,
When I did All2true's struggle
(an old post so here is the link)
http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2592

I did enjoy the expierence
but my wife/mistress got very ill during that time

I was more open to the idea of anyone doing a tease/ challenge
following that expierence.
See: http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4987
Which I at least tried. I a still working on getting myself up to 40 edges.

I am always open and honest with my Real Life wife
who I am glad to say allows me to do teases, most of which are written by men.
I enjoy challenges like the "Lost" challenge because it allows me to use the teases in a way approved
in our relationship.
That being said I don't think I would like someone saying there a man and then telling me they are a lady or vise versa half way through a teasing challenge.

Interesting question, never really thought about it......
However, Indigo you do realize that from now on I will be extremely suspicious as to the gender of the tease-author, and that this is all your fault?

Anyway, would it matter?
Not while I didn't know. With something as inherently impersonal as the internet or phone, I supply my own mental pics anyway, so who cares who is responsible for supplying the spark for the imagination.
I'd like to have complete honesty.......
I'd also like world peace, free healthcare, and politicians with actual balls.
Wishing isn't going to make it so, and I've reached an age where cynicism has left a serious mark.

Would I want to know?
In a word: No.
In two words: Hell, no.

I'll give you an example, albeit one of the weirder ones:
I happen to be a movie-geek, and there's a german submarine flick called "Das boot".
Used to love that film, seen it god knows how many times.
Until I happened to see the bonus material on the DVD. Turns out those ocean storm scenes where you can see crewmembers ducking down in the tower, is actually Barbie dolls cut in half, mounted on pistons and clad in plastic doll outfits.
Never been able to watch that movie since then without that image popping into my mind.

So if a Mistresss suddenly turned out to be something else than advertised, I think the response would be "Thank you for your services, and have a nice life."

CheerfullyInsane