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FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:32 pm
by cactusman
I just published a very long tease:
"Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate":
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=7776
I plan to have a sequel to this eventually, but that part isn't done and this is already plenty long, so here it is. Enjoy, and feedback is appreciated.
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:42 am
by novacatz
it was very hot but i would have preferred it to be a little shorter --- perhaps think about split future teases into parts.
but still (double thumbs up) it was really good!
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:02 am
by cactusman
novacatz wrote:it was very hot but i would have preferred it to be a little shorter --- perhaps think about split future teases into parts.
but still (double thumbs up) it was really good!
Thanks, I appreciate that and agree that it could have been shorter...
I did stop it here instead of continuing because I was already worried about that.
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:01 pm
by pbchillin
Amazing tease, cactusman you have a real talent for this, and I, like many others are always pleased to see a new tease from yourself.
Thanks!
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:43 pm
by cactusman
pbchillin wrote:Amazing tease, cactusman you have a real talent for this, and I, like many others are always pleased to see a new tease from yourself.
Thanks!
Thank you, I appreciate you comments very much.
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:44 pm
by pbchillin
Can i also say i don't think it went on too long, for sure it's a very long tease, but the quality doesn't dip, and it's great from start to finish.
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:01 pm
by ThomasKu
Amazing job! A great story and I just can't wait to read the upcoming parts of it.
Maybe it was a bit too long, but I liked it because of that. I could feel the same frustration the main character is going through while reading it. Because it goes on and on just like his teasing experience.
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:02 pm
by cactusman
ThomasKu wrote:Amazing job! A great story and I just can't wait to read the upcoming parts of it.
Maybe it was a bit too long, but I liked it because of that. I could feel the same frustration the main character is going through while reading it. Because it goes on and on just like his teasing experience.
Thank you, and thanks also to pbchillin for his clarification. I appreciate your comments very much.
ThumasKu, yes, that is the kind of effect I was trying for, so I'm very glad you felt that way.
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:58 pm
by cactusman
I'm pleased to see that this tease, at
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=7776
is now getting a 4.5 rating (actually it's 4.47 with 209 ratings, as one can tell from the RSS feed for Milovana, I wish this kind of information was available elsewhere too).
Thank you (collectively) for the fine reception you have given this.
I've been reading it over again lately (for fun

) and have made a few small changes here and there to improve it.
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:30 pm
by SexualChoc
OMG!
WOW!
did I read correctly 480 pages?
Fantastic story!
I love Mental teases.
I would say this is porobably the longest tease there is!
A five is NOT high enough
If you don't win TOTM I'll be suprised.
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:59 pm
by cactusman
SexualChoc wrote:OMG!
WOW!
did I read correctly 480 pages?
Fantastic story!
I love Mental teases.
I would say this is porobably the longest tease there is!
A five is high enough
If you don't win TOTM I'll be suprised.
Thank you very much. I don't know if it's the longest tease there is, but it is my longest, even longer than "Lori's Fantasy-Based Teasing." (
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=7174)
I've only won TOTM once, and it seems like these very long teases don't do well. Lori's Fantasy-Based Teasing got very few votes and part 3 of the Tonight an Orgasm Will Cost You series came in second, even though it rose to be the highest rated tease on this site. So who can tell? I just appreciate the feedback!
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 11:41 am
by DeniedHard
I agree with what many others are saying. I think the length was paramount to relating to the character and feeling like a part of the tease rather than a spectator. Had you been able to quickly click through it the tension would never be able to build and I think it would have ultimately felt lackluster. But, luckily it is long, and the result is a mental tease unique from anything I have experienced. Great great job.
My one quarrel is that the story began to feel somewhat repetitive after awhile. Even if the repetitiveness felt realistic, as life often is repetitive, and may have added to the overall immersion; I still felt that it dragged in a few spots as the character went about his normal routine. I think that may be the fuel to the flame when it comes to any length complaints. That said I cannot really think of a proper solution.
Again, great job.
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 5:21 pm
by cactusman
DeniedHard wrote:I agree with what many others are saying. I think the length was paramount to relating to the character and feeling like a part of the tease rather than a spectator. Had you been able to quickly click through it the tension would never be able to build and I think it would have ultimately felt lackluster. But, luckily it is long, and the result is a mental tease unique from anything I have experienced. Great great job.
My one quarrel is that the story began to feel somewhat repetitive after awhile. Even if the repetitiveness felt realistic, as life often is repetitive, and may have added to the overall immersion; I still felt that it dragged in a few spots as the character went about his normal routine. I think that may be the fuel to the flame when it comes to any length complaints. That said I cannot really think of a proper solution.
Again, great job.
Thanks very much for your comments. I will continue to look for spots where it's repetitive. I did take 3 pages out a few days ago that I thought didn't help. In any case, thanks again.
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 12:28 pm
by real-webjunky
Great work,
and the length made it extra teasy ;)
Re: FB: Erica: Teasing Ex-Fiancée and Housemate
Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 5:48 pm
by cactusman
real-webjunky wrote:Great work,
and the length made it extra teasy ;)
Thanks! I appreciate it.