Milovana.com

Alright, well...

I consider myself a submissive. Nothing turns me on more than the thought of kneeling before a beautiful woman, but aside from that I consider myself one of the least submissive guys i know.

When I go about my day to day life I don't take any flak from anyone and I actually hate being told what to do..

I guess I was just wondering am I alone in these thoughts/feelings? Am i the only one who hates being told what to do in real life but revels in it when it comes to sexuality? I don't really know if this deserves a thread but I just want to know other people's opinions....

Anyone totally un-submissive in real life but when it comes to kink totally desire submitting?


One for the psychologists, perharps

Join the club! Get in line. The line (queue) forms to the right. Oh, ya. Lots of us fit that category.

Not only is there a line, it has become so long that I've considered putting up a concession stand to feed the masses while they wait.

Popcorn, anyone?

You're right, that was perhaps a little flippant.

So, a more expansive answer:
Me, I'm a control-freak IRL.
Live alone, and thus take care of everything mýself. Have a job where I spend most of the time on my own, with the responsibility to prioritize time and assignments.

Sexually, I'm a switch, probably more of a top than a bottom.
The past 10 years or so, I've spent more or less as a sub simply because it's a world that needs more exploring.
Also because I had a scene go horribly wrong as a top, and I want to know myself a little better before delving back into domming.

So you're definitely not alone.
Whether it's an issue or not is up to you.
I have long since made my peace with enjoying D/s, even if that means I'm not 'normal'

CheerfullyInsane

I believe one motivator for subbies such as you, is an opportunity to turn your thinkers off for a bit. To take an hour and not be the one making decisions. It is a form of escape. In that light, it is perfectly understandable. You're looking for balance. Now, while you're down there, be a dear and get that smudge off my shoe, won't you. You know the proper way, there's a good pet.

Nika

Nika Ferlinghetti wrote:I believe one motivator for subbies such as you, is an opportunity to turn your thinkers off for a bit. To take an hour and not be the one making decisions.

And isn't that the classic image of a submissive male? The successful politician or banker or whatever who goes home every night to his perfect housewife and then spends hours tied to the bed while she whips him?

I'll freely admit that's one of the reasons I do like to switch when I play. As much as I enjoy being in control and creating situations to play in, it can be very exhilarating to just give up control and do as I'm told or allow things to be done to me.

Mistress D

Here is my two cents:
I agree with Glasgow im sure there are many blokes out there who feel the same way and thats why they call it fantasy. Its the difference between a bit of fun and a life style, plus fingers crossed your not horny while doing day to day things. I reckon there is a time and a place for domination.

Of course ive nothing against the guys and gals out there who are into 24 hr domination! And would love to try it some day but don't worry Glasgow your not alone!

-Rob

*edit*
Nika

See, I've heard lots about these big important bankers or politicians going to these professional Dominatrixes to escape from their power role and submit to someone for a change. But i'm not even in a role of particular power at my work (i'm 21) or even just in day to day life, like there's been no point in my life that i've any amount of respectable authority.... But I dunno, I'm a bit tipsy the now and I just can't figure out why submitting to a woman is what really turns me on.x

I have a lot of responsibility at work and is in a position to tell others what they need to do. So when I’m not at work, I don’t like to make any decisions and wish to be told what needs to be done, and give up all the control. I sometimes hate when friends say, “You choose where you want to eat” lol

There is more to me then just that, but after reading the previous posts, that was my initial thought :)

But I dunno, I'm a bit tipsy the now and I just can't figure out why submitting to a woman is what really turns me on.

Which begs the question "Does it really matter?"
It's a bit like asking why red is my favourite colour, or why some guys like fishnet stockings.
Hell, a friend of mine got a thing for penguins, for some ungodly reason.

The point is that you apparently click to this particular fetish.
And as long as you don't injure yourself or anyone else because of it, you might as well enjoy it.
I'm not trying to denigrate the question itself, I just think that it'll be an exercise in futility to try and figure out the why part.

CheerfullyInsane

I dig my heels in when receiving direction / guidance / suggestions / anything that I don't agree with at work / home life. If they actually issue it as an order, I rebel as much as I can. I think a lot of people are like that though, stubborn as an ox.

Sexually I'm pretty much the same though, mentally there's a lot of things that I do that I don't consider submissive. Foot massages, cooking / cleaning / orderly type duties I do gladly, but its not because I know she's superior to me. I didn't submit to it, I volunteered because its the right thing to do. Sexually, only she can make me submit, and I will fight it until she makes me submit. If she doesn't tire me out ahead of time, or restrain me well enough, She ends up on the bottom, I will only worship someone who is better then me and proves it. That's what turns me on, is knowing that She IS better then me right now. If i can convince her to take Aikido lessons with me... Mmmmm!!!!!


~funny note. Seraph0x makes me submit every time i want to post a message! This is making me giggle uncontrollably.

glasgow, there are other reasons to find submission intoxicating. People are drawn to power, so you are naturally drawn to a powerful woman. Sex roles can be confusing, so to have clear demarcations, a woman explicitly telling you what to do and how to do it can be rewarding. Also, bdsm taps into so many emotions, once that aren't touched with vanilla sex. It it the thrill park of the sexual world. Hang on tight, and enjoy the ride.

Nika

Nika, insightful comments as always, thanks for sharing.

Salt wrote:~funny note. Seraph0x makes me submit every time i want to post a message! This is making me giggle uncontrollably.

When I first read that, I thought, "That's weird. Why would he do . . . oh, that's terrible."

Salt, you are officially fired (see office policy on terrible jokes in the public forum). You can expect your pink slip in the mail.

*Jim resists the urge to make a cross-dressing joke . . .*



Jim

For me in the outside world i find it hard to be told what to do,its not arrogence but so used to looking after myself and just surving.Been in to female dominination since i was around nine though,didnt know what it meant back then though.For me submitting to a Dominant Women comes naturally,i am one of those people who will put everyone first and think of me last.I love serving and making my Mistress happy although it can be hard,i do like the challenge.

Funny that I see this tonight, as I was just talking to some people in chat about the fact that it's one of the reasons my boyfriend is so incredibly sexy when he's submissive - in "Real Life" he's very dominant in many ways: he's confident, always the first to open doors because he believes that is what is right, he takes it upon himself to do many things on his own accord, and yet shares responsibilities with me as well. I'm re-reading that sentence and hating how long it is, but going to carry on anyway.

Like I was trying to say, the fact that when we're in the bedroom he goes completely submissive and bends to my will is probably the sexiest thing in the world. His reactions to the things I do, the way he begs and says my name... there honestly is nothing that turns me on more than hearing him whisper my name (or moan, yell, etc. ) or whimper as I'm teasing him. Absolutely incredible.

So yes, I think it's absolutely common and absolutely "normal" to be more dominant in your daily life. I think that it would be exhausting being only submissive or only dominant in every aspect of your life every day.