Milovana.com

Aww what a nice gesture thats a very kind thing to say Indy its good to know the Man of chat is such a genuine kind man

Cheers to you Indy

slave alexander

I'm similar Indy. At least in regards to the loneliness part that is. I'm not looking for a Mistress or anything in particular. After spending some time around here, I'm not sure I can even be considered a sub anyway. (I won't go into that right now.) It's just that I'm a very busy person, have been for a while now. I work a full time job (at night) and after years of procrastinating, started going back to school full time. As you can imagine, that doesn't leave me an awful lot of time for much of a social life. If I'm not at work or at school, I'm likely sleeping, and I don't get enough of that anyway. Stopping by here when I have a chance is just a little way to keep some level of social interaction and avoid becoming a complete hermit. Although, to be honest, that's not entirely why I come here.

Talking with some of you folks now and again is nice, but this site also provides me with a little creative outlet as well. I like to write. I love telling stories. Writing short stories here and there is one thing, and I still do so, but the webteases add a certain level of diffculty that's challenging and rewarding at the same time. I have to stretch my imagination to get the story, the instructions, and the pictures to "work" together. Sometimes I look for pictures to fit my story, other times I try to fit my story to the pictures I've already found. But more often than not, it's a combination of the two. I can't count the number of times a story will change while I'm writing it just because the picture doesn't fit quite right or the other way around. It doesn't always work and I don't release everything I write just for that reason. It's a situation that just doesn't occur when I'm writing in a traditional format and it's an exhilerating experience for me to "feed" that imagination. I don't know if that at all makes sense, but I couldn't really think of a better way to describe it at the moment. Besides, that's a little off the subject for this post anyway.

Point is, I'm a naturally curious person. I like to learn new things and new ideas. It really doesn't even matter what it is. Big things, little things, personal things, social things, science, math, art, history, philosophy, psychologly, literature, physics,.......whatever. I'm just naturally fascinated with anything I don't know. I've found so many interesting things to learn around here already and the more I hang around, the more I get to learn. So it's a combination of things for me, but yes, loneliness plays a role in it.

Right, Indy. At least for me most of your words are true. And the only reason I'm still around is not because I'm looking for someone or something. And through this meaning that I lack, I do still enjoy the teasing sometimes, and sometimes I don't. But I'm still around... most of the times.

This topic perhaps has a dead-end.

I'd still like to read other peoples responses, so everyone, just go ahead and tell us what you think :).

-green-

xmarto13 wrote: PS... this is my first post so hi to everyone for the first time

Welcome to forums!

I would like to add my 2 cents.

I have recently gone through a season of depression
and am finnally feeling happy for the first time in several years.

A small part of the depression is the internet
it is cold, coputer screen.

Anouther small part is Porn - bear with me here
It's depressing because the women (woman) is not sitting next to you
but is seperated by the computer screen, she truely is an object
(Which can lead to seeing all people as objescts)

Lastly Denail can be somewhat depressing
because actual physical needs are not fulfilled
(You would also feel a bit crappy after not eating for four days)
There is a rush while edging, but there is a part of you that yearns
for what your body needs. You can replace, fill the void
What I use is Nature - sounds silly but I love Nature walks
I don't need an orgasm if I get out for a walk!
(I also reccommend any kind of Exercises)

Indigo wrote:Something else ...

Seems like folks are growing more and more desperate for an escape from everyday troubles. Seems to be a common theme. Drug and alcohol abuse is up, so are prescriptions for anti-depressant medications. Some folks turn to porn ... I suppose it's not so unusual, we like the way it feels, when we get off. But I wonder how this affects us, mentally.

Not exactly a new argument, albeit one that is usually used by preachers and grand-parents.
Or for that matter anyone trying to convince you that the good old days were better. Neighbours knew each other, kids didn't have sex etc. etc.
It's a friggin' fairytale. Things sucked back then too, they just sucked without indoor plumbing.

Sure, people are using more alcohol, drugs, anti-depressants and porn. Absolutely right.
But does this mean that people have a greater need for it, or does it simply mean that these things have become more readily available?
Can't say about drugs, but alcohol has become a helluva lot cheaper recently, anti-depressants has become the usual prescription because there is no longer a moral stigma attached to it (plus, it means the doc can cycle through more clients, and hence earn more money), and the internet means there isn't a spread of porn so much as an explosion of naked flesh. *g*

Let me put it another way. I wonder if we don't condition ourselves, in a fashion. If you get online feeling miserable, looking for something to make you feel better, and begin masturbating, once you cum, does the depression go away? After a while, do you begin to subconsciously associate sex with depression? Pain, with arousal? It's like being humiliated, and getting turned on by it. After a while, you're just feeding a cycle

As with everything else, it depends on why one does what one does.
If you have a drink after a hard day to unwind, that's fine.
Go boozing on a friday, that's fine too.
But if you start drinking merely because it's what you do, *then* you have problems.
Same thing with every other stimulant you can think of, be it physical or mental.
There's nothing wrong with escaping from the world for a while. It's one of the reasons we have books, movies and whatnot.

Short version?
I think you're overthinking things, Indigo.
Judging by the change in your writing-style, I'd surmise something happened in the last few weeks, and that has got you brooding a bit.
I'm not going to guess what, nor am I in much of a position to offer help from across the Atlantic, but consider this:
Life sucks. Until you consider the alternative.

CheerfullyInsane

Sorry this is going to be a bit of a downer post wise. If you're here having fun please feel free to skip this



I turn to porn, to Milovana and to other sites, to escape from real life - from any sort of stress, sadness, depression, anger - the "solution" is just a click away. It's like a hit of cocain.

Just like cocain this, for me, has it's downside - pangs of guilt, remorse, shame. Promises, broken of course, to stay away.

Orgasms tend to make it even worse - if I manage to not orgasm, then at least I have been true to my fantasy life. If I do orgasm then it means that I can't even hang onto my crutch... i guess its like not being able to roll up the $100 note to snort the cocain...

I feel the cycle acutely at the moment - maybe because I'm trying to get off again? Or because I'm at least admitting that I have a problem?
1. pain/guilt/anger/sadness = trip to Milovana/other sites/bliss
2. trip to Milovana/other sites/bliss = guilt/sadness/shame/anger
3. rinse and repeat, don't stop.

freaau
stop the world i want to get off

I am depressed for a terrible reason. I used to have a dream a couple times a week where the world was ending and no one could stop it, and instead of watching everyone I love die, I choose to kill myself to avoid the pain. After that, I figured we're all alone, and cut myself off from everyone. Counselor says i'm pretty normal, I figure everyone has the same problem, they think that they are the only one who has to deal with issues in their lives and that no one understands what they're going through. Knowing that every single person is alone in their head is whats depressing. http://despair.com/individuality.html

I don't think Milo brings me down though, you guys are interesting folks.

Wow Indy,

I was wanting to reply to this thread for a while but I could hardly find the time and the words......in fact I am not even sure I found the right words yet (English not my primary language).

Anyway, I think your original post clearly stated what I have in mind, I come here for the T&D thing and a bit of the BDSM, however I found out am more interested in chatting and exchanging with people not only over these topics but frankly about everything hoping to eventually develop friendships and be able to talk about anything, not only sexual or BDSM stuff.

However I found it very difficult, because mostly I felt like people were not even paying attention nor even reply to a simple "Hello...." and this is when the depression kicks in, I feel lonely, ignored, awkward, out of line, rejected..... I cannot name it. I was diagnosed with a bipolar syndrome a year ago after I was found sitting in my home office with my loaded shotgun ready to go see what was on the other side..... it was a close call, an online friend saved my life then. I feel better now don't worry. I hope I am not scaring anyone away from me now..... I am not a crazy lunatic I was just sick....

Sometimes I feel like maybe Milovana is not the right place for me but other times I think the opposite, it takes a very open mind to share intimate fetishes like the ones discussed here. And normally when people are opened I am thinking it gets easier to be friends.

On the other hand I can say that I have met 1 or 2 people with which I feel I can exchange a little and that is what is keeping me going.

Anyway I am going nowhere with this post again, I tend to ramble a lot, but all I wanted to say is THANK YOU indy for what you did, this thread, the hard work in chat, I will try to participate there a little more.

If only people would realize more than beyond the names and pixels there are human beings with feelings, emotions and other things......I guess the world would be a better place.

As far as I am concerned, I love Milovana and what is so nice about it is that it's the people here that makes it what it is.

Thanks to anyone who read this long boring rambling.......

-Neo

Indigo wrote:I think the most important thing to remember is even when you feel like it, you aren't alone. There are people all around us, oftentimes that we don't even recognize, that truly do care.

There's some really good advice here. Whenever any of you are in a terrible mood and you feel alone, and you don't think things will ever improve, I want you all to remember what this occasionally wise person posted above .

neo36 wrote: I feel better now don't worry. I hope I am not scaring anyone away from me now

As far as I am concerned, I love Milovana and what is so nice about it is that it's the people here that makes it what it is.

-Neo

Neo I'm not scared away at all, that takes a lot of guts to admit and was very brave and honest of you

i'm not sure what else to say its getting very emotional in here

i do like Miss D's quote of (occasionally) wise man Indy

& to coin a BT catchphrase from the 80's its good to talk

Thanks Alex,..

Amongst the good people I met here you`re on of the top ones I will admit. Indy`s comment is spot on too.

Indy,

Like I said I am ok now, things are under control and fine now. But I appreciate all you`re doing around here. The chat is more fun than it was a year or so ago, been there 2 days ago and it was fun, chatting about anything.

As my schedule allows it I ll be on more for sure.

Keep up the good work and intentions Indy, even if it`s not always shosing it does people lots of good.....I am one of them.

-Neo

Aww thanks Neo

Indy, why oh why would you post such a tread at this time of year?? Perhaps you like to know a persons feelings and desires and then later turn them against the reader themselves..do you even have a real job?? Or do you just sit at home in a dirty t-shirt and type all day, just hoping that one of the lovely ladies would even glance your way in the real world.. so Happy Holidays Indy and don't forget to leave cookies for Santa under your tree..

hello dear Indy..did I raise your hopes or your little slut dick?? I have not been around here for a while, busy in the real world--outside my door..have you gone past yours lately?? In my pretty fish bowl I can see you pretty good.. You are a poor fisherman, trying wooly worms with a small lure uncooked hot dogs, and stink bait to get some attention.. hard times on my thread..well, dad dying ..yeah sad.. but I am back as strong as ever and you don't even see what is happening on my email account--lots here write to me.. so Indy, is this really the place to talk about depression?? Aren't there web sites for that?? Like I said, you want to know peoples sadness and problems..make you feel good.. hey are you M or F ? Post a pic, I'd like to see who I am talking to.. have you ever posted a pic?? A flake?? I fortunatley have a profession that keeps me very busy and I am traveling quite a bit, home for the Holidays now.. so Jingle Bells to you Indy..shh..you know where to clip those bells --don't you??

I must say that someone here is very talented..writing (ahem) poetry..oh smack--wait a minute, I think that is a song...