Milovana.com

Hello all,

So this is a big step for me... I'm going outside of my normal boundaries and reaching out. I'm very new to the whole D/s senario, and by some miracle my boyfriend, who is absolutely perfect in every way, seems to be interested as well. It is he who gave me this website and encouraged me to post, so here I am.

I guess I'm looking for some suggestions. Like I said, I'm very new to all of this, and while I seem to be doing alright with verbal teasing, I'm sort of clueless about other things. We've discussed certain aspects of this relationship and boundaries, but I guess that my confidence isn't quite what I wish it were to know that I can do this.

As far as suggestions, I'm looking for more moderate things... like I said, I'm very new to this and need to work myself into a level that I'm comfortable with, not only with myself but with my boyfriend. That being said, because my boyfriend is a member, it wouldn't be much fun for him to read the responses, so please PM me if that's at all possible. However, I would welcome encouraging replies to this post as well, just keep ideas secret :) All this aside, I'm happy to be here!

I'm very excited to learn from you all, and after time, perhaps I can be of assistance as well.

Thanks,
Jean

:Welcome:

Nice to have you as part of this site
If I read things correctly you are looking for suggestions
on how to be a Dom? or play the roll of a Dom?

Do you feel comfortable writing about your boundries
of things, it might help with what kind of PM's you recieve

Please state if you are teasing just your boyfriend.
You probably already have recieved requests from some
to be thier dom, so, just a suggestion you should let it be known
if you are just teasing your boyfriend.

Just a short 2 sites of googled sites on being a Dom
http://www.ehow.com/how_4512595_be-a-dominatrix.html
http://www.arenablaze.com/article.php/dominatrics

There are a lot of different styles of domination. So ultimately you're going to have to pick and choose among all the techniques and ideas out there what your interests are and what works for you.

First of all you'll have to decide whether you want BDSM to be a fun activity or a lifestyle.

As an activity everything you do will take place in sessions that have a beginning, an end and rules. You can agree on the rules beforehand, then talk about it afterward and try something new every time. Your partner will have a safeword to end the session at any time.

The lifestyle route means that being dominant and submissive are no longer roles, but identities. They are permanent and apply to all aspects of the relationship. In femdom, this is quite simply a matter of enforcing that you are his only sexual outlet. Sexual desire in men is a powerful force and after a couple of days without release it reaches it's maximum and stays there until the next orgasm. It is just as strong a feeling as extreme hunger or extreme thirst. If you manage to monopolize his sexuality and know it, the power exchange follows naturally.

For beginners I strongly recommend sessions, they allow you to experiment without changing the nature of the relationship and without the tremendous effort and responsibility that comes with being a full time dominant.

As for techniques... Teasing and Denial is a great way to start. You'll be hard pressed to find a guy who doesn't like being tied up and teased. Next you may wanna introduce a bit of pain to the mix. The most important piece of advice for any dominant is: Whatever you're going to use on your sub, try it on yourself first. (Except for things like CBT where that is obviously not an option.) That allows you to get a sense for dosage and effect.

Beyond that... well, the Internet is your friend. You will never, ever run out of ideas.

Play safe!

Hello all,

As MistressJean said, her boyfriend (that's me) is kinda into this whole D/s thing. Something about the surrender and trust required drives me wild. While I know a little more about the D/s world than she does, I'm still a novice in many ways. For example, this is my first real life relationship involving any D/s elements. But we're both very eager to learn, and I can tell you all that Jean is absolutely a natural. I've never really understood this dynamic or my own submissive side like I do after only 48 hours of experimenting with her.

Thanks already for welcoming her with open arms. She's been very excited by all your PMs and posts. I, on the other hand, am rather nervous. Oh, and because I don't know if she'll post here to answer SexualChoc's questions. Yes, she's looking for specific ideas about Domming--things to try, ways to make me squirm, et cetera. And yes, she's only domming me (right, Dear?).

Well I'm sure you'll all be seeing more of the both of us. Ciao,

~pet