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Under the garden Hedge tease
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 9:48 am
by surfcreanative
Rate this tease: 1 2 3 4 5
Please only rate teases you have actually seen!
Like all budding new tease creators, we all want to know how our little foray went down with the public.
This has been up for a few days now. Anybody have any suggestions or feedback
cheers
Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:50 am
by seraph0x
Ok, sorry it took so long, I was a little busy the last few days. So here goes my review:
It has a very strong fantasy element which I really liked!
You went off the path of the stereotypical webtease and that was awesome! Especially the introduction - First you see a house and you're like (wtf?) and then slowly you get to see more and more as you peek through the hedge.
There were a few spelling errors and I think you should make it more clear who is speaking.
Overall a great contribution! Thanks a lot!
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 11:45 am
by surfcreanative
Great feedback... thanks a lot
i was definitely trying to add more of a story element.
I have gone back and fixed the spelling/grammar mistakes and added a few more lines here and there, to make a smoother experience. First rule of posting should be to read your own work
In regards to the dialog, anything in "quotation marks" was her speaking. I was hoping the tone of the language would get this across. I have tried to clean this up a bit as well.
Hopefully people will enjoy v2.0
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 1:43 pm
by seraph0x
There was some discussion on your tease
here. So I'm reposting it here where it belongs.
specimen51 wrote:There's a few good ones on there already. "Under the garden hedge" is very original.
booster wrote:Garden hedge was pretty perfect, I would love to see more tease like that, Thanks again
That should give you some encouragement.
Also, thanks for v2, I still found a few things though, should I go through and fix them?
Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 11:56 am
by surfcreanative
Sure, go ahead. As long as it is an Australian to American "spelling" error, like centre/center
.
Kudos for the good work on the site
Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2006 5:15 pm
by doink
I tell ya what... Maybe the hottest pic in this tease is that close-up of sexy, perfect feet in perfect high heels, with the woman reaching down to fasten or unfasten them. HOT. ---Doink.
Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 9:22 am
by alpahde5
i have to say i loved this tease, there are so many great ones that people have made, this one is one of my favs, i like the story, i like how it puts you in the scene... i just like it
keep it coming surfcreanative