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I Cum, You Dream
Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:05 pm
by wonderbo
I liked the setup for this tease. I felt like it ended too soon though. You had me on the hook...
Re: I Cum, You Dream
Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:09 pm
by badseed
It was my first webtease! glad you liked the set-up ... any suggestions?
Re: I Cum, You Dream
Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:16 pm
by badseed
Just went back and reviewed and I totally get it... it builds up, but the tease around the next the last slide ("You beg to sniff my wet pussy") could have been strung along for a few more slides.
Honestly I tend to like them quicker! But I totally get this suggestion... thanks for the feedback
Re: I Cum, You Dream
Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:58 am
by wonderbo
You're a good writer and I was into it, then it was over...that's all I'm trying to say. Typically, if I don't find a tease interesting in the first few pages I'll abandon it and move on. Yours had me on the edge of my seat...I'm pretty sure you could have kept me there for at least 30-40 more pages!
Re: I Cum, You Dream
Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:08 am
by badseed
good input... i think i'm going to update at some point!
Re: I Cum, You Dream
Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 1:06 am
by badseed
I've made some updates based on the feedback, and is now retitled "I Cum, You Wish!"
It would be great if anyone had any other input...
Re: I Cum, You Dream
Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:16 pm
by dix
I don't supose anyone could tell me who the model is from pages 2 and 3 of this tease? (She looks like the same girl as the "Give a mouse a cookie..." teases.
dix.
Re: I Cum, You Dream
Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2009 6:19 pm
by wonderbo
What happened to this tease? I was going to revisit it...but it's gone!