Milovana.com

I thought this was a great idea for a tease, was enjoying the writing and then... it just got really rushed and stopped. My advice is take it down, rework the last couple of pages, and really explore the idea. I think a no-touch tease could be really cool, but I'd like to see the same amount of effort go into the middle and end as clearly went into the beginning.

I have never been a fan of teases where they use different girls' pictures or pcitures that don't match in the scenes.
I've found that it is better to have a tease where the pictures match.
The story tends to make more sense that way.

It takes a little more effort, but I've found that the end result is always worth it.

Bill

Agreed. It can work when there's logic for it - like "go see this other girl in the other room" or whatever. But when it's just random it's distracting.

i concur. This was a very disjointed tease to really get me going. A creditable effort but could be better by not jumping to different models so often.

That's a nice tease, and I'd like to encourage you to continue writing. Love the "No Touch" idea. I'm a bit of a germ-o-phobe, though, so I'm not too keen on the no recent bathing aspect. Eeeeeew. (shudder) I mean, I would love to suck on that hot ass, but I must insist we follow the proper cleaning procedure first!

But YES that's a good tease, very flirty, playful, and enjoyable. I hope you write some more like this one!