Milovana.com

Just wanted to open a thread for ya'll to leave comments. It's my first "long" tease, hope you guys enjoy it... Remember, I told you my next tease would be a good one! If it makes you throw up a little in the back of your mouth just be sure and go brush your tooth.

And yes, the intention is to provide a train wreck- you don't want to keep watching but just can take your eyes off it!

Indigo wrote:
Sooo ... what gives?

Yeah I'm with Indigo ... confused

It needs some work. But being a Redneck Hillbilly, I understood the storyline. LMAO

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Hahahahaha

Who knows, there might be a lot of people who got turned on by that tease.

Hell, when someone posted a homosexual tease, it was all "Good for you!" "Your so brave" haha

to be honest, i got a little ill, did not finish reading it, and had to throw out the rest of the cottage cheese i was saving for lunch, but what the hell, its FREE

Yeah, but there was'nt a hideous guy in that one. That guy was pretty hot in all fairness. That lady on this tease was just fugly, fugly, fugly, fugly. I don't make webteases so kudos for trying....but please, that lady was just so disgusting.....

I thought the pic of the El-camino was great truly an american icon and the trailers stacked like they were was kinda cool

I thought it was some kind of SICK joke dude! That lady was fucking disgusting. And you pasted a freaking crocodile eating the chicks head? A WATERFALL when she was coming? YOU KNOW DAMN WELL that you were NOT being serious when you wrote this. I mean I kinda think the idea of an ugly chick forcing you to jack off for her is sexy but this lady was old, this lady was fat, AND she was HIDEOUS. I couldn't get up if I tried for this tease. It wasn't a train wreck we couldn't stop reading, it was just a hilarious train wreck.
You can not tell me you were being serious. Hahahaha horrible dude, but it did make me smile.

I know we're all about being supportive here, and we like to cast aspersions on anyone who doesn't write teases and etc.. BUT blah blah blah you know where this is going.

hmm
I was going to say its crap and shouldn't be encouraged. But then i got to thinking a tease about a rough and rowdy red neck girl who treats her men like cattle leading to castration and/or milking machines could be kind of hot (read a story like that once). But the chick would have to be a southern hottie. A southern belle slant might work too. So now I'm not sure where I stand on the encouragement issue.
But this hackneyed, durrr I'm a redneck, approach sucks.

edit: I looked at it again. I think part of the problem with it is that the first half is just a string of redneck jokes and an excuse to show off red neck pictures. And we're supposed to laugh at the stupid rednecks. They's sure do talks funny down south.
Then, when you get to the actual tease part it's one of those stupid teases thats just pictures and maybe a sentence or two on each page. You want to think the author has a cohesive idea but you can't decide whether he was too busy whacking it or he just has awful writing comprehension. You know the kind of tease I'm talking about.
To top it off its also an ugly chick tease. The only way I see an ugly chick tease working is interspersed sparingly with hot chick pictures. That could actually make for a novel tease.

I've talked to much. To all you people who don't like us to complain about free stuff: my opinion is free too, so shut up.

Alright, guys... Bored seems to be the only one who actually "got it"-- I made you guys the butt of my joke by having you read that stupid piece of shit! Apologies to those who were offended. In explanation, I thought subs understood that everything doesn't always go their way...

I will say, writing in the style of a web-tease is MUCH harder than it appears. Maybe that's why all the people who have actually written a tease had something positive to say, in spite of their overall disapproval of my effort. IF I'm going to write something, I don't intend to follow a generic template but try to incorporate creative techniques that make my piece stand out. Frankly, if this is a place where people only want to wack off to free pics of hottie chics while they declare their submissiveness, well, this is not the place where I should be posting my writings.

Indigo- to answer your question, "Why would I put something out I knew was going to tank?" Because I've seen that for the most part, people's first tease tanks anyway... Lots of the really good writers on here wrote one or two crappy ones before they got the hang of things. So I didn't put alot of thought into my 1st tease, actually just grabbed an idea off a sheet of failed/dead brainstorm ideas for short stories and wrote it up as quickly as possible in a tease format.

For what it's worth, apologies again to you guys. I'll try to do better on the next one...