Milovana.com

Hi,

I'm lucky enough (?) to be have a girlfriend (actually fiancee) that is also my mistress and keyholder. She loves to tease and deny me. She claims I should be "always horny" for her.

It "amuses" her how horny I get when locked in chastity, but the problem is she is a busy CxO type, and has limited time and energy to devote to teasing, exploring, etc. So I thought I would ask the devious community here for ideas that would amuse her without taking too much time and energy on her part.

[I also run my own company, so tasks that would take a huge amount of time and effort are not great either]

Some of the things she currently does to me

1] Forces me to wear sissy panties at all times. All my male underwear has been destroyed. If I'm ever caught in male underwear, there is serious punishment...

2] I am locked up in my CB600 for punishment as she sees fit. The one and only key is locked in a safe. I'm not allowed to handle the key myself on any ocassion (I would copy the key right away and she knows it!)

3] She has taken other lovers on several occasions Once in front of me, other times with my knowledge. One time I was ordered to find her a lover from an online site, which I started doing, but the logistics turned out to be too time-consuming on her part, so this idea is dead for the moment.

4] She requests frequent foot massage and pampering. Ocassionally i am required to serve her orally, but not very often She seems to prefer foot massage to sex recently. Doesn't matter that I love one and hate the other, I suppose

I also liked the idea of her revealing what she does to me to her girlfriends, which she did in a limited way, but that didn't work out very well.

Any other ideas?

She does not sound lazy to me.
RL is a bit different than fantasy.

1. Always be open and honest with your partner
tell them What you like/ and don't but do NOT nag
if she is not responding figure out a dif way to ask.

2. Her sex drive might be different than yours by quite a lot
My dom's drive is less than mine but she lets me use this site.

3. Don't try to "top from bottom"
Your suppose to be submissive, Submit!

Not sure that's what you were looking for
but I hope it helps.

Understand what you're saying there. Just to clarify... the examples come from 2 over two years of play, and the ideas were all mine. Lot of ideas are generated and dropped - She chooses, so I don't think its a case of topping from the bottom...

We've not really done anything recently, and the rules she used to enforce she doesn't seem to bother any more (I broke rule #1 a few times recently and was not punished aven after being caught). That would not have happened last year. She does enjoy being in charge, but doesn't want to spend too much time and energy thinking about it, that's all.

Dominance is a state of mind and it does require energy. It may seem, to subs, that being a femdom should be easy - after all, you simply need to give commands or at least SOME tiny bit of femdom attention..right?

The more rules a femdom has, the more things she must keep track of. This can be overwhelming and cause aggravation if a femdom is a busy CEO type (I know this, I am one of those...I am a hardcore career woman ON TOP of being a sadistic, ruthless domina).

Give her space and room to breathe. Set aside time where you can "perform" for her - for her amusement, or the amusement of her friends (I find that getting my girlfriends involved can really add to the dynamic). Have her completely control your orgasms for a LONG period of time (at least a month) and keep you in LOCKED chastity, not just self control. Get a list of proactive things from her she wants done - ie, breakfast in bed every Sunday, a foot massage on Saturdays, you have to chauffeur her around on Tuesdays, etc.

Also, see what you can take OFF her plate in other areas - is she busy planning a party? Offer to handle the invites and errands leading up to it. Some birthday shopping stressing her out? Get a list from her of ideas for the gifts so she doesn't have to do it, and run out and get them, AND have them gift wrapped so all she needs to do is deliver them.

Be proactive!

Akasha

Akasha wrote:...
Give her space and room to breathe. Set aside time where you can "perform" for her - for her amusement, or the amusement of her friends (I find that getting my girlfriends involved can really add to the dynamic). Have her completely control your orgasms for a LONG period of time (at least a month) and keep you in LOCKED chastity, not just self control. Get a list of proactive things from her she wants done - ie, breakfast in bed every Sunday, a foot massage on Saturdays, you have to chauffeur her around on Tuesdays, etc.

...

Akasha

Excellent advice, thank you for this. We do talk a lot, and some of these suggestions are being implemented. I'm learning to give her Facial treatments and am locked (starting with one week continuous).

I agree that involving her girlfriends would super-charge things. I have discussed that with her, but she has been reluctant to involve "innocent" friends with our private life. In her previous job she revealed to her co-workers that she locker her boyfriend in chastity to keep him keen, and it was met with revulsion and horror! I guess its now a case of "once bitten, twice shy".

She sees the potential for sure. But we don't have other friends that enjoy a similar lifestyle/relationship, and given that we are living in China (with no local BDSM or fetish scene) its hard to make connections with others who would appreciate it. She's not shy bout humiliating me in front of others (she enjoys that!), but is very respectful of others and nervous about shocking anyone close to her.

Anyone out there experienced with getting girlfriends involved? Subtle hints towards Ds that can followed-up with interest or dropped without offense?

I checked your website also. The chastity training program looks good (though very intense!) She could be be interested in "outsourcing" my humiliation and denial for a month, but based on experience that doesn't really interest her...

Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful post.

-d