IronRose wrote: Tue Aug 26, 2025 2:47 am
So I wanted to ask everyone here: how do you build trust quickly with someone new online?
I think there are a lot of different factors that finally come together as trust in the end.
As I have decent experience in being an online dom and an online sub, I think the most important thing for both parties in such a relationship is "give, don't take".
But first off: it needs to be clear for both parties what they want. If it's only a quick session then less trust is needed and both parties can have more "secrets", however if it should lead to multiple sessions and even forming some kind of longer relationship then the trust should be slowly increased over time. To achieve something like that the first part should be always asking the other party what they want from it: do they want a quick session or do they want a longer relationship. If both parties agree that it it's fine to last longer, then they must open up to each other.
As a dom it then is absolutely important that you show up like a person and not like a lifeless bot. You are a person after all: act understanding to problems that the sub has with your dom-style. Work on yourself, try to find fitting compromises.
Open up to the sub by telling them why you can't do certain things at certain points (e.g. "sorry, I can't give you a session right now as work is crazy at the moment" or "I'll be out with friends tonight, we're going to watch movie XY"). Bring in conversation points that you can talk about with the sub. They don't have to be about your personal deep feelings, but they should show something from you. Something you're interested and/or something that defines you. And finally: don't be a bitch! Let private things stay private between you and the sub. Don't start with blackmail and if you need to do some blackmail stuff, do it in a fantasy environment, but also be clear about it.
As a sub, you need to be honest and tell what you like and what not. You need to explain why you can't do things and you need to be as much as a human as the dom needs to be.
For both it is important to not push things. Give opportunities to discover each other, let the other react to it and respect boundaries, but also be open to push your own boundaries further if you see the other person open up to you! Also be honest with your boundaries. If you want to have long lasting dom-sub relationships, you need to have a respectful relationship outside of the dom-sub relationship, too.
IronRose wrote: Tue Aug 26, 2025 2:47 am
How long does it usually take for you to feel trust, and how long before it translates in real life?
Everyone has their own pace with opening up especially online. Also it depends on how often you communicate.
From my experience a good and trustworthy relationship needs at least 3-6 months to develop, but it's more usual towards a year or even two.
