Milovana.com

Hey All,

New Member here but been using the site for many years!
Would really appreciate any feedback, good or bad.

Plan to make longer more complex teases in future but just getting to grips with the editor!

Really appreciate all the direction and if anyone has prefered subjects and ideas send me a note!

I liked the scene and the images. Was a bit on the short side, but could be the introduction for a series based around the set up.

Firstly, congrats on your first tease! Quite rough around the edges, but it is refreshing to see new content creators.

Now onto the criticisms:

The flow of the dialogue was chaotic, you have the female officer jump from sentence to a new sentence with no delay, after scene changes.

Lots of grammatical and spelling mistakes throughout - makes it hard engage with:
"You looks so weak, so pathetic stood there tugging on that cock...."

I didn't like any of the dialogue, it didn't come off as authentic at all. You need to find out how to write it better, so that it has more of an effect on the reader. (I think this is the biggest problem of your tease).

You can have certain writing styles for characters, use different text colors, add some buttons - etc.

Lots of body horrors from your Flux gens: 6 fingers, messed up hands. Hands can be fixed by learning how to in-paint - it only takes a bit of extra time once you learn how to do it. I don't know what frontend you use but achieving this in comfy-ui is easy (look up comfy-ui in-paint tutorials on youtube).

I would also consider using a SDXL finetune over Flux if your goal is to make an eye catching tease.
Give this checkpoint a try: https://civitai.com/models/573152/lusti ... checkpoint

If you take that on board I'm sure your next tease will be greatly improved!

Thanks for the feedback and comments.
I have removed it and will remake it when i have more time.
Thanks!