Milovana.com

Hello everyone.

This is my first tease. Accidentally published last week without adding the pics and ending like a doofus and it got downvoted to hell and I took it down. This is the completed and updated version.

There are random scenarios each day:

3 Mornings
6 Arrivals home from work
4 Nights

And a couple of surprises. Try to find them all

The cleaning mini game, each task progresses the day at the same speed but they are color coded easy/medium/hard on how many clicks they take and the reward you get.

Welcome any feedback and suggestions (or ideas for more scenarios for that matter).

Link to tease: https://milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=72718

Thx

Hi!

You already mentioned it in the description, that the intro might be long. That's fine in my opinion if it's a good story (unfortunately I don't know.)
At least for me (English not first language), the text runs too fast. Would be great, if either each text block appears on a click. Or at least if there would be a button at the end of a page (before the entire text sections resets to empty), so that I could catch up with reading before the text disappears.

At the moment, I can't give more feedback because I already quite within the intro. Nonetheless I would come back at a later date.

It looks really well made and great ideas implemented. I enjoy to play along though, sadly, your tease isn't really made for that. I just skipped through a little!

Just my idea: why don't you get rid of the randomness completely and make it a straight line, with a finish in the end? Just by skipping through I saw the same night and morning pages twice, and I thought there's something wrong. THEN I read about the random element. Although I do think that some people here enjoy random teases. I, personally, don't.

If you ever have the time and motivation, I'd enjoy it if you could re-relase it as a deluxe edition or something. :D You could make it a linear tease (with some choices here and there, for sure), maybe add more days/content and change the writing a little, for the reader to play along. I.e. kneeling infront of the door could easily be kneeling infront of the PC, waiting. Cleaning the house, cleaning bathroom etc... could all be done in our own homes. You could add twists and turns to the chores, like attires to wear, only on hands and knees, only with tied balls, etc. It would be amazing and super fun, I think!

I love the setting and the writing itself. Great ideas. Well done!