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So all Doms and Subs, I want all of your input on this as I'm obviously still trying to figure it out.
I told my little toy the other day that they couldn't cum, that they had to wait for me to say so, but that they didn't have to lock themselves up that night. In fact I wanted them to rub up against me as much as they wanted that night, because I find that hot as fuck.
It ended beautifully, he leaked a huge mess all over my leg and woke up super frustrated the next day, which is exactly what I wanted.
Now, this next part is probably my fault, but I want everyone's opinion how I can express this more clearly in the future.
I left for work, and he had off today. Apparently as soon as I let he locked himself in his chastity cage because he was afraid if he touched himself, he would cum. I kinda wanted him to have to deal with that temptation, but understand it's tough to resist when home alone.
So basically:
Should I be more strict in how I leave him and what he's allowed to do when I'm gone?
Or should I loosen his restrictions when I'm gone and if he cums, he cums?
Thank you all in advance for your help!

Princessbri wrote: Thu May 02, 2024 4:28 am So all Doms and Subs, I want all of your input on this as I'm obviously still trying to figure it out.
I told my little toy the other day that they couldn't cum, that they had to wait for me to say so, but that they didn't have to lock themselves up that night. In fact I wanted them to rub up against me as much as they wanted that night, because I find that hot as fuck.
It ended beautifully, he leaked a huge mess all over my leg and woke up super frustrated the next day, which is exactly what I wanted.
Now, this next part is probably my fault, but I want everyone's opinion how I can express this more clearly in the future.
I left for work, and he had off today. Apparently as soon as I let he locked himself in his chastity cage because he was afraid if he touched himself, he would cum. I kinda wanted him to have to deal with that temptation, but understand it's tough to resist when home alone.
So basically:
Should I be more strict in how I leave him and what he's allowed to do when I'm gone?
Or should I loosen his restrictions when I'm gone and if he cums, he cums?
Thank you all in advance for your help!

Hi. I'm thinking that the actual physical control i.e. knowing that no matter what they do they can't cum or even get hard without your permission is really hot. By that I mean, that since it seems he is reaching the limit of what he can do by himself, it would feel so much better to push that further. Apart from anything else I think it is quite likely that he might just pleasure himself and cum and not tell you, and even if he didn't you might be wondering that.

I'm thinking something like having a conversation with him about this. Show him these posts. Perhaps suggest that you could give it one more try to see if he can control himself (not leak at night) and if he can't then you will need to be more strict until he can prove his control. And by more strict you mean he will always be in chastity when you are not there and when released he will always be restrained so he can't resist you ruining his orgasm if he cums without permission. Always. He agrees he will only be allowed control of his cage if either

1) (If it turns you on to feel him straining and throbbing inside you as he desperately tries to hold out) He can make you cum by fucking you (continues until he ruins or you cum, and is essentially impossible since he will be restrained with you likely on top, but not completely impossible which will make him try really hard which is fun) or

2) (If you don't want to let him fuck you) Make him do something almost impossible (especially with the denial and teasing) but not quite impossible like Sleek 1, 2, 3 and 4 on four separate days without ruining for permission to regain control of his cage.

If he fails he ruins and can try again a day later. But every time he fails the time until he can try again doubles. So 1 day, then 2 days, then 4 etc.

These rules will likely lead to you having full physical control over him which it seems you don't now and in itself is really hot.

The twist and to add a little spice to it, I think neither of you should be allowed to orgasm until one of you fails. And until his inevitable failure you can give him instructions but you must also do them. So if you tell him to edge you must also edge but right in front of his face, naked with your legs spread. If you like you could let him tell you to edge as long as he edges his cock right in front of your face.

I wouldn't worry. You'll be fresh and he won't be. The added intensity will probably make him ruin quickly. If it doesn't you can wait until he's dreaming while sleeping then rub your ass slowly over his cock until he ruins... Make sure you are wearing black leggings so there is plenty of evidence;)

Adapt as you like. That is just what I thought when I read that, and make sure it is consensual. I mean what I am describing is a fantasy but is "super hard core" IRL. (People are generally much kinkier than you expect I find so "super hard core" may not be as hardcore as all that but yeah sounds that way to me).

If you like the idea you could edge and then hold the edge while you read through this again and think that if somehow you fail you will have to buy a chastity cage for yourself and have your toy post here for suggestions for what to do with you.

Princessbri wrote: Thu May 02, 2024 4:28 am I left for work, and he had off today. Apparently as soon as I let he locked himself in his chastity cage because he was afraid if he touched himself, he would cum.

The other Day you told him he doesn´t have to wear one, you didn´t tell him he can´t wear one, you just gave him the option to not wear one

Princessbri wrote: Thu May 02, 2024 4:28 amI kinda wanted him to have to deal with that temptation, but understand it's tough to resist when home alone.

If you have not changed your command from the previous Day, you still would only have given him the option to wear one or not

Princessbri wrote: Thu May 02, 2024 4:28 am So basically:
Should I be more strict in how I leave him and what he's allowed to do when I'm gone?
Or should I loosen his restrictions when I'm gone and if he cums, he cums?
Thank you all in advance for your help!

If you should be more or less strict, is something you need to discuss with your sub not us

But going from what i read, you probably should be more clear in your commands

If you wanted to have him deal with the temptation, you should have been clear on this and told him, that he can´t wear the Chastity

Well if it was me i would have wanted more strict commands of what to do, because i think its easier to deal with that for a slave. But if i understand you right you enjoy the mental play with your slave very much, and i think its important for you to not lose that. You enjoy to give the slave some freedom in the scense he will be tempted to do things on his own. It requires more selfcontrol from the slave to have some sort of freedom i think. So my advice is to do what you enjoy the most, he just have to deal with it. You could always put up some cam in the house to see if he can handle it :)
Next time take the chasity device with you when you go to work.

Arushita wrote: Thu May 02, 2024 12:37 pm

Princessbri wrote: Thu May 02, 2024 4:28 am I left for work, and he had off today. Apparently as soon as I let he locked himself in his chastity cage because he was afraid if he touched himself, he would cum.

The other Day you told him he doesn´t have to wear one, you didn´t tell him he can´t wear one, you just gave him the option to not wear one

Princessbri wrote: Thu May 02, 2024 4:28 amI kinda wanted him to have to deal with that temptation, but understand it's tough to resist when home alone.

If you have not changed your command from the previous Day, you still would only have given him the option to wear one or not

Princessbri wrote: Thu May 02, 2024 4:28 am So basically:
Should I be more strict in how I leave him and what he's allowed to do when I'm gone?
Or should I loosen his restrictions when I'm gone and if he cums, he cums?
Thank you all in advance for your help!

If you should be more or less strict, is something you need to discuss with your sub not us

But going from what i read, you probably should be more clear in your commands

If you wanted to have him deal with the temptation, you should have been clear on this and told him, that he can´t wear the Chastity

I second all of this and couldn't express it any better. If I had been in his situation I would probably have put my cage on too, unless I had specific instructions forbidding that. I give him kudos for using a tool he had at his disposal to respect the command he did have, which was don't cum. So I think you need to be clear regarding those things.

PG

Thank you all for your input! I'll be sure to be much more direct in the future, and I LOOOVE the idea of making him rub against me while I wear leggings so he can see the mess he makes
I basically made the decision that since he wanted to wear it so bad he can wear it for the next few weeks, but thank you all for your opinions, I appreciate it!