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Funny ADS

Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:45 am
by wss_italy
Hi guys,

Id'like to share with you some funny ads that i have found browsing the internet last night.
I don't know if all of them are real. Who knows, you may get some ideas for a webtease....
Have Fun. :-/

CLASSIFIED

SWM seeks 300lb+ woman to sit and squash doughnuts on me.

Unemployed 52 yrs old SWM, lightly malformed bald and fat but with a brilliant personality looking for one ore more young attractive and voluptuous women for purpose of mere occasional sex. Don’t be shy!

Submissive male seeks dominant female with extensive knowledge of knots.

Perverted in a vegetative state looking for woman same requisites for challenging sex experiences.

SWM into chainsaws and hockey masks seek likeminded SWF. No weirdos, please.

Today may be your lucky day! I am a 52-years old SWM. I have a 12-year-old daughter that is my own, however, my former wife disappeared with her, two years ago somewhere in the Phillipines. I am an insurance agent and sold to myself large amounts of life insurance, which is very important now, in that I now have a spreading prostate cancer that is expected to kill me, within three years!

Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.

Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums.

Hideous-looking, obese, smelly, ill-tempered, lazy, cowardly, chronic, and a complete liar seeks total opposite.

TO THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AT THE STATION: I CANNOT FORGET YOU.
You come like an angel while I was trying to sleep on the bus station bench, you looked at me, choking on my odor, tripping over your purse trying to get away; and at the last moment, our eyes met. Yours were blue. I forgot to ask you: can I have a dollar?

JELLO BOY - SWM who likes to slowly fold canned fruit into jello, seeks female partner for distinctly American activities. Dirty pigeons need not respond.

Re: Funny ADS

Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 4:00 pm
by all2true
wss_italy wrote:Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.
:lol:
Funny
What exactly is a "flipper boy" anyway? :-P
I think after an add like that someone would say _YES freaks please.

I though this might be appropriate:

Shel Silverstein Lyrics
"Freakin' At The Freakers Ball"

There's gonna be a freaker's ball yes yes tonight at the freaker's hall
Ha ha yeah and you know that you're invited one and all
C'mon babies grease your lips grab your hats swing your hips
And don't forget to bring your whips i'll take you to the freaker's ball
Blow your whistle bang your gong roll up somethin' to take along
It feels so good but it must be wrong a freakin' at the freaker's ball
All the fags and the dikes they boogyin' together
Leather freaks're dressed in all kinds of leather
The greatest of the sadists and the masochists too
Screamin' please hit me and i'll hit you
The FBI a dancin' with the junkies all the straights a swingin' with the funkies
Cross the floor and up the wall a freakin' at the freaker's ball
Y'all a freakin' at the freaker's ball
[ horns ]
No hairs and long hairs kissin' each other mother with daughter son with mother
Smear my body up with butter and take me to the freaker's ball
Pass that roach and pour the wine i'll kiss yours and you'll kiss mine
I'm a gonna boogie till i go blind a freakin' at the freaker's ball
Oh the white freaks black freaks yellow and red ones
Necropheliacs a lookin' for dead ones
Tickers the sickers they're gettin' their kicks
With the womans libbers and the sexist pigs
The plastercasters castin' their plasters the masturbators baitin' their masters
Cross the floor and up the wall a freakin' at the freaker's ball
Y'all a freakin' at the freaker's ball y'all a freakin' at the freaker's ball

Re: Funny ADS

Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 4:19 pm
by wss_italy
A flipper-boy is a freak... He usually works in a circus with other odd performers such as the bearded woman and the siamese twins. He is a wheelchair-bound man with flippers instead of arms and legs who usually swims in a fish tank. :-/