Thanks and goodbye
Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 11:32 pm
Hello,
want to say the community a big thank you. I felt welcome for a long time and I know I am still.
I share a journey with you and this journey is over. I tried to perform a locktober in last month and it ended up in a total of 17 orgasms. I almost had every day an orgasm and it was right for me. In the end it was kinda vanilla fantasies and porns I used. That's it. My biggest kinks are big booty and big boobies.Or if the woman wears lingerie and pantyhose. Mild mostly verbal domination as a switch is a turn on and maybe delay my orgasm for 15 minutes.
All in all I was searching for a strange kink but everything was a disappointment because the only thing I really look for is a person I can share sexuality with and feel secure enough to be my true self. Not like a tinder date trying to use each other as sextoys.
I think that is my current quest I have to solve and that also means to me to say goodbye to that whole thing of kink-rollercoaster. I have to put my energy in getting a person that a woman could find interesting enough to be my girlfriend. I used all this stuff like a drug and it is my fault, but I don't see a way to use it in a healthy way by me.
I will jerk off on daily basic, enjoy the short joy but then have my mind free and focus on all the things that are really important. Not thinking 24/7: I need so bad to cum. Where is the next porn to put on an extra teasing. I felt like a junkie and not good at all.
But everybody is different. I just really want to leave wioth a big thanks and let you know what happend. My big next big kink is to have sex with a partner that I love. I never had that before and I think there is that as a gap in my soul and I need to fill it and stop searching for a substitute in kinks.
Your Claudius
want to say the community a big thank you. I felt welcome for a long time and I know I am still.
I share a journey with you and this journey is over. I tried to perform a locktober in last month and it ended up in a total of 17 orgasms. I almost had every day an orgasm and it was right for me. In the end it was kinda vanilla fantasies and porns I used. That's it. My biggest kinks are big booty and big boobies.Or if the woman wears lingerie and pantyhose. Mild mostly verbal domination as a switch is a turn on and maybe delay my orgasm for 15 minutes.
All in all I was searching for a strange kink but everything was a disappointment because the only thing I really look for is a person I can share sexuality with and feel secure enough to be my true self. Not like a tinder date trying to use each other as sextoys.
I think that is my current quest I have to solve and that also means to me to say goodbye to that whole thing of kink-rollercoaster. I have to put my energy in getting a person that a woman could find interesting enough to be my girlfriend. I used all this stuff like a drug and it is my fault, but I don't see a way to use it in a healthy way by me.
I will jerk off on daily basic, enjoy the short joy but then have my mind free and focus on all the things that are really important. Not thinking 24/7: I need so bad to cum. Where is the next porn to put on an extra teasing. I felt like a junkie and not good at all.
But everybody is different. I just really want to leave wioth a big thanks and let you know what happend. My big next big kink is to have sex with a partner that I love. I never had that before and I think there is that as a gap in my soul and I need to fill it and stop searching for a substitute in kinks.
Your Claudius