Milovana.com

hey, i'm new to all of this and discovered Milovana a month or so ago. I just published my first tease(http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showflash.php?id=3254) and was wondering what people thought of it, any feedback would be great. thanks.

p.s. and i mean ANY feedback, length, style, pics, structure.

It seems broken, it goes up to a point when she tells you to whip your cock until you cum, and then it loops back to the beginning with either choice.

thanks. i'll fix that immediately.

I enjoyed what I did of it but yeah, same problem.

thanks for the feedback, i think i've fixed the problem. although, there's not too much more to it after that point. it's fairly short. although to make up for it, i've got some great ideas for my next tease.

I give you bonus points
for even trying a Flashtease as your first tease!

I was impressed how you found pictures to fit your story line,
her facial expressions while thinking about things,
well done.

Welcome to Milovana!

Looking forward to more.

Who is the girl on the tease? I can't make out her name on the bottom right corner, and I'd like to see if she's done anything else.

Mate, 10 out of 10 and a koala bear stamp for you.

That was well-written. Decent attention to spelling and grammar, and a good story, too. The model wasn't my thing, but she was believable in the context -- the writing and the storytelling and the pictures all together put it over the edge.

Well done squire!