Milovana.com

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n/a

avatarbr wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 12:42 am Is that some meta thing with your teases?

First I was happy when I see your post.
Then I was sad because I read the title and is a 'old' tease.
But something tell me to look at the new teases
Then I was happy again because I see you have a new Tease.

Now I am intrigued, thinking this is some intentional thing.

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I REALLY like the temptation of the apple and the idea of skirting a line by licking it. The garden of eden is a fantastic theme to use for "born yesterday" fantasy. However, I REALLY don't like how on rails it feels. It seems like nearly every decision point isn't really a decision but I can see how it would have blown up dev time and re-starting with a code otherwise. The on rails makes me want to speed read most of the sections because they don't feel as important anymore but that is just me. Part of this issue is I didn't feel like I had the ability to skip hardly any of Ash's scenes who was my "lesser pick" of women.

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https://media.milovana.com/timg/tb_xl/3 ... 72d03c.jpg

indyc wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 4:26 pm I'm happy to see your latest release, I need to run through it a few more time to give you more accurate feedback. My initial impression is though I am not the biggest fan of the model choice, but it really works for what you were going for and is enjoyable enough.

Spoiler: show

I REALLY like the temptation of the apple and the idea of skirting a line by licking it. The garden of eden is a fantastic theme to use for "born yesterday" fantasy. However, I REALLY don't like how on rails it feels. It seems like nearly every decision point isn't really a decision but I can see how it would have blown up dev time and re-starting with a code otherwise. The on rails makes me want to speed read most of the sections because they don't feel as important anymore but that is just me. Part of this issue is I didn't feel like I had the ability to skip hardly any of Ash's scenes who was my "lesser pick" of women.

There is some freezeup near the very beginning of Day 5 just as Ash shows up.

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https://media.milovana.com/timg/tb_xl/3 ... 72d03c.jpg

There was also another area Day 3 or 4? with quick 1sec image skips of Ash. I didn't know if they were supposed to be that way but if it was supposed to be flashing possibilities in your mind, I would hide the timer for those.

Having a 5 second timer that you can pause is nice but I don't think it needs to tell you 5 seconds if you see the line diminishing because it is a bit wordy that way. I am intrigued to try more!

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I think this is more on-rails than some for sure, but I had a story I wanted to tell with it so it leaves less options! Some teases enable that more than others.

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coincidences with obtaining new knowledge from contact with the apple is the idea.

Shattered wrote: Sun Jan 23, 2022 2:44 am And I thought id try the 5 second timer there because it was when you can't click the buttons if you are following along to the letter, so I wanted it to autoplay, but if you read slower you had a chance to pause it

anonymister wrote: Sun Jan 23, 2022 4:00 am On Day 3. Very good so far !

indyc wrote: Sun Jan 23, 2022 5:23 am

Shattered wrote: Sun Jan 23, 2022 2:44 am And I thought id try the 5 second timer there because it was when you can't click the buttons if you are following along to the letter, so I wanted it to autoplay, but if you read slower you had a chance to pause it

I get entirely why you did it and think it is good. I just don't think it needs to mention anything about 5 seconds because it makes it more wordy than it needs to be when you already see the time ticking down. (So essentially, keep it but I would argue for just less words when you use it)

For the images that flash as they should after eating apple, I would personally hide the timer instead of seeing 1 timers flashing distracting me from the pictures.

I am using chrome if that helps at all about the freeze but I even let it run for 30 minutes and it still was locked up.

Daragorn wrote: Sun Jan 23, 2022 7:06 pm Wow, that was another masterpiece from you @Shattered!!

I've mostly just read through it instead of playing it since the storytelling and the idea behind it was so, so cool, that i wanted to see where it went.
I've really loved the whole idea and, as always, the writing was excellent as with all your teases.

I've only encountered a small bug on day4, just before the quiz; when she asked if i was ready for it or not, i tried saying no and i had the 2 min timer to put on the vibrator restart, but when the 2 minutes ended, it remained stuck there.

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Constructive bits;

• I think the theme lends itself so well to nudity. To add some strong immersion, you could included a reference in the opening scenes. Perhaps an instruction to always start the tease fully naked, it being Eden and all...

• Day 3 > 4's item list was missing the Vibe. The vibe was only mentioned after the instruction to bind your legs... *sigh*

• Final Day also didn't mention the need for clamps in advance (but at least this time it was easier to quickly grab...)

• Following the questions segment, the next day's short-task wasn't on screen for very long. And it was tricky to get back there to re-read. Maybe add in a continue button here before the screen change?

• I think the autoplay timer was quite a good feature. But also agree it didn't need the text. The visual progress bar already shows the holding time effectively.

CumScream wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 7:49 pm Thankyou Shattered, this was another truly amazing tease.

Great story/theme and excellent character/model choices!

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Constructive bits;

• I think the theme lends itself so well to nudity. To add some strong immersion, you could included a reference in the opening scenes. Perhaps an instruction to always start the tease fully naked, it being Eden and all...

Your right, this is definately on theme! I think I've pulled away from it myself recently though is all, I like teases clothed

• Day 3 > 4's item list was missing the Vibe. The vibe was only mentioned after the instruction to bind your legs... *sigh*

Doh, added

• Final Day also didn't mention the need for clamps in advance (but at least this time it was easier to quickly grab...)

Doh, Added

• Following the questions segment, the next day's short-task wasn't on screen for very long. And it was tricky to get back there to re-read. Maybe add in a continue button here before the screen change?

Which part was this sorry?

• I think the autoplay timer was quite a good feature. But also agree it didn't need the text. The visual progress bar already shows the holding time effectively.

Really looking forward to re-playing this tease again.

Shattered wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 10:11 pm

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Your right, this is definitely on theme! I think I've pulled away from it myself recently though is all, I like teases clothed

Usually I agree. Especially if a bratty model gives a 'Strip & kneel' command in the first page, I just ignore it. The character's trust/obedience has to be earned gradually.
But in this case, there is already so much good immersion carry-over from your previous works, I thought it might work.

Also, congrats on making a tease which successfully starts with full nudity, progresses to clothed teasing, and manages it un-ironically. Excellent inversion of expectations.

Spoiler: show

Following the questions segment, the next day's short-task wasn't on screen for very long. And it was tricky to get back there to re-read. Maybe add in a continue button here before the screen change?

Which part was this sorry?

Day5AshDecision > End5DayInterim

CumScream wrote: Sat Jan 29, 2022 9:29 am

Shattered wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 10:11 pm

Spoiler: show

Your right, this is definitely on theme! I think I've pulled away from it myself recently though is all, I like teases clothed

Usually I agree. Especially if a bratty model gives a 'Strip & kneel' command in the first page, I just ignore it. The character's trust/obedience has to be earned gradually.
But in this case, there is already so much good immersion carry-over from your previous works, I thought it might work.

Also, congrats on making a tease which successfully starts with full nudity, progresses to clothed teasing, and manages it un-ironically. Excellent inversion of expectations. I never even considered how that is different to how I usually do it but it's true

Spoiler: show

Following the questions segment, the next day's short-task wasn't on screen for very long. And it was tricky to get back there to re-read. Maybe add in a continue button here before the screen change?

Which part was this sorry?

Day5AshDecision > End5DayInterim

vana wrote: Sat Mar 05, 2022 7:37 am Im thinking of playing the tease. Is it a multiple day tease? And do I need to do any other teases for the story?