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Re: On relationships, society and self-pleasure with CH / RLGL

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2022 3:39 am
by RandomName
Alrighty you have some valid points, but your arguement frankly appears to be primarily based on one a few realistic situations. One, you're simply engaging in reductio ad absurdum, you've had negative experiences of the topic yourself, and you've simply read that this is the case. But, let's go point by point.
Yet somehow, the "serve a woman" scenario never seemed to me as a fitting realisation of the (otherwise valid) first part of the advice above. When you marry a woman, you are in many ways enslaved to her - especially in Western societies. Any post-hoc realisation of the misery you may be bounding yourself in, will not help you escape. Escape involves alimony! Even divorce-aside, see this post viewtopic.php?p=106066#p106066 for a nice example of a sad human being... and realise that even in his misery, he is in fact luckier than other husbands... Search the web, to read about women that make the lives of their husbands a daily torture, to force divorces out of them - so they can live the cougar lifestyle, gracefully funded by their pitiful ex-husband slaves.
This is... interesting to say the least. Stating that a relationship involves "enslaving" your self to a woman seems genuinely ignorant to me. Relationships do ask you to put in work and give up some things, however, its give and take. In a healthy relationship the woman is doing the say thing, they also work hard and have to make sacrifices. Of course, so women are manipulable and only want to use men, the opposite is also true. Now, yes, it is completely true that western divorce is incredibly sexist in favor of women. However, I recommend you do some research on something titled "Prenuptial agreement". In short, it's a contract made to protect the parties of a marriage in the event of divorce or separation.
"You live alone? Then you are a failure, full-stop!"
Um, where did you hear this? Why do you think this? In some eastern cultures? Yes, living alone is often considered taboo. But in the west? I've never heard anyone be called pathetic or a failure because they're alone...
You must realise, that you are programmed to deeply want to reproduce. You are the product of a cruel evolutionary process, that doesn't care about your feelings or your rational thoughts. It only cares about reproducing your genes
Yes, it is called being a living mortal being... all humans want to reproduce, it's not something unique to men, yes, men have a larger sex drive driven by larger amount of testosterone, but it's not like women just have sex with the sole intent of pleasuring men, they also want to have sex. Studies show that when women reach orgasm during sex regularly with their partner, they have a lot more sex. I really don't get your point here, but yes, people want to have sex and bare offspring.
Well, if you are rational, and somehow survive the first 3 decades of your life without becoming enslaved to a female, you can probably see through the logical problems with both of these "pressures". In relation to societal pressure, it's appropriate to quote Feynmann: "What do you care, what other people think"?. Do read the book ; and I am sure you'll agree with me, that, had he lived in the 21st century, Feynmann would add "Fuck em" at the end of the question (though not in the literal sense).

Society's viewpoints are, at their best, rules made for monkeys. Look no further than the idiocy in social networks, to realise how much stock you should put in "society's viewpoints"... Societal rules are made to keep the monkeys in chains, so they don't destroy the place. Pair them with similarly idiotic wives and have them breed. They will then be so busy paying their mortgage and feeding their offspring, that they (hopefully) won't mess the place up.

Is this really the purpose of your life?

Breeding more tax-paying citizens just to make society happy?

If your purpose in life is to reproduce, does that mean that cancer cells have purpose? They sure as hell reproduce damn well
If you read someone's points and want to agree with them, you will. It's that simple. We care what other people think because of our genetics not society. If you trace humans back to when humans were first humans, we survived by cooperating, we cared what other people think because it was necessary to survive. Now, we do it because humans are social creatures. Studies have shown that humans can suffer brain damage from no stimuli and will often start hearing voices when isolated.

The rules being for monkeys is odd, but not altogether wrong. Rules and laws are outdated to be sure however, the intent is safety, and the fact of the matter is, without them life isn't exactly safe.

Your problem with the payments just seems hatred for capitalism, which well, is really different altogether.

Your genes dictate what is Natural and what isn't. And sex is the most natural thing there is! So go make babies, as your genes dictate! Right? You just follow your Nature, and in doing so, you will OBVIOUSLY be happy! Yes?

No.

Statistically speaking, HELL no ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce#Statistics )

But we don't even need to see the data, to understand this "argument from Nature" is completely moronic. If the Prime Directive is to follow what your genes dictate, and that is the way of the one True, Natural Morality, then... cancer cells are so moral! They just follow their nature! Why destroy them?
Well, yes actually. Skin to skin contact and especially sex release countless pleasure, happiness and bonding hormones. According to your wikipedia stat the divorce rate in the us is about 1/3, which although quite high I don't get your point here. Happiness is not a life long thing, you're happy something and sometimes you're not. We also know for a fact that it is completely possible to keep your relationship happy and strong, it's just a matter of knowing how to do it and what to do. Not to mention that divorce isn't always a sad upsetting thing.

Humans were in a unique spot, all animals, cells and the such do follow the "prime directive" but humans having obtained the ability that we have, we have the choice to go against it, we have the ability to make that choice. You don't have to follow nature, that's the magic of being human.

I already mentioned above the "if you are rational" prerequisite behind most of these thoughts.. But that too, has been and always will be under attack. Truly rational people are truly free ; you can't control them or manipulate them. If you were raised religious, for example (I was) then religious control of your rationality is literally the most vital part of your Faith. To trust your own thoughts, instead of the divine revelation, is the way to eternal damnation
I am someone who was not raised religious, does research for fun, and I'm a student of psychology and philosophy. I would argue that I am quite capable of thinking more rationally than most. The problem with your argument here is quite simple. It's selective rationality. The same way that if you ignore the positives and only look at the potential downside however minut makes being antivax logical.
Religion in heavy worship is quite horrible. However, from a psychological perspective religion is actually insanely logical. People turn to religion because it gives them something bigger that themselves to turn to. Without going to deep into detail, it simply gives them hope.

No woman can give you the pleasure you can give yourself.
In reference to brief moments of sexual pleasure? Maybe. Statistics show that both sexes report significantly more pleasurable orgasms when had with a partner. Often when people stare their partner doesn't give them as much pleasure as masturbation it's because their partners just don't care enough (typically it's men not caring to bring their partner to orgasm)

Frankly, in conclusion, you're points seem based in cherry picking negative data, ignoring positive possibilities and only acknowledging the negative ones.
Yes, if humans were purely sexual beings than you might be able to provide an argument for staying single and masturbating over a relationship, but humans aren't. We as humans amass great pleasure from relationships with others.

This really isn't intended as rock throwing, I'm just pointing out that as long as you are willing to try and accept reality for what it is rather than an ideal world, you might see the happiness that can exist. I myself am a pessimist as well, but this seems very cheery picked. But hey, if you want to stay alone and beat off the rest of your days, you do you.

P.s.
Healthy relationships will have sex numerous times a week even years and years into them

Re: On relationships, society and self-pleasure with CH / RLGL

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2022 5:27 pm
by Sapphire
This reads like the classic incel manifesto. Nothing new here. What I'm about to write is not me being upset because you're a philosopher...it's because your philosophy sucks.

RandomName responded very well, so not much more to add. As they alluded to, you are suffering from confirmation bias, assuming your negative experience is everyone's experience. I can tell you, the pleasure that comes from serving someone else in sex and someone SERVING YOU in sex in return in a loving relationship, and the euphoria of being collapsed on top of each other after fucking each other's brains out is WAY better than masturbation...and having sex with a sex worker can't substitute that. You know the "post-nut clarity" that comes after masturbation? You don't get that in sex in a loving relationship; it's just bliss, no drop from the high. And someone you know intimately, intimately teasing and sucking and fucking you to bring you pleasure? Masturbation can't compete.

Also, relationship are give and take, both supporting the other; not one "serving" the other. You are looking at bad examples of relationships and assuming they are all like that or that it is the only way to have those relationships. The other thread you linked, did you read the responses? People weren't commiserating at how miserable he was, they were sharing how to better communicate to improve the relationship. And you know why? Because they know the communication works! Relationships can work.

As RandomName said, it's ok to be single. I'm a not-single person saying it's ok to be single and I'm not judging you on it. You do you. But you are actually the one judging people who are not like you.

Re: On relationships, society and self-pleasure with CH / RLGL

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2022 5:46 pm
by throwawayacct
Sapphire wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2022 5:27 pm What I'm about to write is not me being upset because you're a philosopher...it's because your philosophy sucks.

LMAO, perfect. The post reads like this one kid who washed out after Philo 120, claimed the professor was stupid, and had this *fucking smirk* whenever they tried out their little rhetorical games born from a freshman's understanding of logic. They were TradCath. And last I heard, still an angry, bigoted, misogynist prick. Playing little first-year games and pretending to be a philosopher is a huge pet peeve of mine...because I earned my fucking Philosophy degree, and little Bennie Shapiro or benzo-brain Peterson here, *didn't*.

OP won't go into therapy - suggesting is a waste of time - because they've fully embraced their narcissism. There's nothing wrong with *them*, its the *rest of society* that is all fucked up. I believe there is a police-associated crisis counselor in their future.

OP - get out of that "manosphere". It's toxic and only serves to reinforce the isolation and loneliness you feel. Healthy, happy, well-adjusted people don't post manifestos about their life in forums.

Re: On relationships, society and self-pleasure with CH / RLGL

Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2022 10:14 am
by edger477
throwawayacct wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2022 5:46 pm ...because I earned my fucking Philosophy degree, and little Bennie Shapiro or benzo-brain Peterson here, *didn't*.
It doesn't sound like either OP or you ever listened to either of them... OP might actually benefit of listening to what Dr Peterson has to say; his whole philosophy is based around taking responsibility for what you can right now, and doing whatever goal you can right now, no matter how small the step is... because accomplishing anything gives you dopamine which will motivate you to accomplish next step; to get motivation and skill for some goal that is hard to reach you need to draw it from lesser goals that you can accomplish and those successes give you more motivation to do next step; Basically, if you learn to set your goals where you can reach them, you can increment them in small steps so you keep advancing and bettering yourself.

What OP is doing is complete opposite, he is resigned, and ascribes to "coin-toss" successes of those of us who invested time and energy to find compatible partner and build a healthy relationship. That removes any personal responsibility he could feel for own failures and ensures he will never reflect and learn from mistakes to better himself. Looking at the outcome as at "coin-toss" is a perfect way to say "I don't have anything to do with my relationship, someone else somewhere else decides whether is it positive or negative". I mean, ok yes, if you decide your partner is first person you will meet in the morning or you try to get into relationship with every person you meet, then is more of a coin toss or even worse; If you decide to first figure out what kind of person you want, and more importantly what are the traits you cannot tolerate, then you can get to know someone before you decide to start relationship, it will not be a coin toss if you skew the probabilities towards your side. Of course sometimes you will learn about yourself too and add more traits to "want" or "cannot tolerate" list before moving on to look for another partner, or sometimes you will mature and review some items on that list, learn how to handle them... finding a good partner should be meticulous process, not rushed.
Sometimes you and your partner will have shared goals for 10, 15 years, and then you will both mature/evolve in different directions, and will decide to move on and look for different partners... that is also part of life, but it is up to you to make sure time spent with someone is not wasted and that you are advancing in life while in relationship, if you both do then is very probable your relationship won't get stale either.

Of course those things require work and energy, and also one needs to better himself, to read, exercise, improve willpower and acquire skills which make them more worthy of earnable resources (money)... it is much easier to get dopamine hits from watching porn and then be demotivated to do anything else. Also, ejaculating excessively depletes alot of energy so it gets even harder to motivate... It is a loop that is very hard to get out of, especially now when you can't even see other people's faces except on screen or if you live with them.