my first webtease

[notredmirsh7]

i have never done a webtease before , i hope it is worth trying , i know it is really rough . i think the more i do the better they will get , let me know what you guys think please

[Cider]

first off, congratulations on your first tease! in my opinion the tease itself was a good tease, something i noticed that kindof broke the mood was all of the instructions on one page and basically all in one sentence.

Maybe it was just because you couldnt find enough pictures to go with the instructions or something like that, i'm not sure, but that would be my constructive critisim to you for future teases.

If you were to split up the commands into more pages, and separate your sentences a little better the tease would last longer and i believe it would keep the teasee's attention better.

i have a tendency when there is a lot of commands on one page to skip ahead and see what i am in for, which may or may not make me lessen the intensity of my stroking, so that i can make it further, i dont know how many people have this problem, but i do know i have seen the same statement posted before.

Cumhardy where you at? this is this author's first tease and he/she needs feedback. what better way to continue your week of denial than to help a fellow milovanian out. Not pickin on you cum, its just very rare i see a post without your picture in it somewhere.

[all2true]

Feedback for:
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=3313

Question:
Is english your first language? If it isn't feel free to do a tease in your language.

I see ou liked the idea of using a metronome and stroking
for difficult edging, pushing ones limits.

However, the tease was a little hard to follow
You could use some spaces.
Also paragraphing. (Don't panic, I have trouble with this as well)
Here's a suggestion of how to help the tease:
Here how I would recomend laying out your first (and following) page:

Hi Baby!
How are you?
I must tell you, you didn't satisfy me last night.
You just didn't last long enough
Oh you want to make it up to me?
Good. Will you follow my commands?
Great!

(Next page)
Now here is what I want you to do.
Open up a new page/ browser to http://www.metronomeonline.com/
Lets see how serious you are.
Will you do everything I say?
Good boy, Now you will be visiting my friends and following there commands
Do what they tell you!
Or its over between us.
You agree? Then (continue)

That's just the first page
Hope that helps.

[notredmirsh7]

thanks to everybody , for the input. i really do appreciate it. it's gives me a lot to think about. i dont mind constructive crtisim. I need it. I really want to get better at it. I would love to one day be nominated for tease of the month some day.

thanks everyone