Milovana.com

What is a moderator supposed to do if people just can't stop fighting each other and making themselves look stupid in the process?

A thread that is a particularly good example of this is Christie's farewell thread, which is not deleted, just hidden until we can figure out the right way to handle it.

What I can do is clear up a few things.

The problem is a fight between Ashe and Christie. Both are using fake accounts, lies, trickery and manipulation in order to make the other look bad. As these things go, they have only managed to make themselves look bad and cause a lot of headaches for a lot of people, including myself.

I understand that such fights can get emotional. But the fact remains that all of us have to learn to control our emotions at least to the extent that we can live with each other. I hope both of you will gain that skill. If not, your lives may turn out to be lonely lives indeed.

As for Milovana itself and how this reflects on this site - I'd like to quote Nadine, who brought up a few good points:

Nadine wrote:I just woke up, and i had some stressful days the past days. And i thought i just give myself a bit of free time to catch up with milovana (I was hoping to have more time on the weekend).

And for sure i had to stumble upon this post ... and I'm shocked. When I'm in chatroom with a 2-3 people, I'm under the impression I'm having a private conversation with them. Or a 'private' message should be private.

I quoted Damon from the public forums, but here is way to much 'private quotes', and hearing that even 'private' Messages can be read by sneaking persons really bothers me.

And the confusion with the names (Damon aka Asha aka Bravous ..) is really annoying too, in fact i hate it already. I've always be honest about my first name, but it seems 99% of the boys here like to hide their normal first name under a pseudonym ... sad but true. Do you use a fake name when you go to a disco???

And then coming in with a different name, spying on people, that's just sick.

I don't think you'll see me in the chatroom anymore, i was really looking forward to it this weekend, but reading all this ... killed my mood and feelings about it. I guess i will fade into the shadows, and look around for another site with normal people around to chat.

goodbye,
Nadine

First of all, those are very valid points. Sometimes the crowd in the chatroom is quite small and things are said that you wouldn't want to be quoted on. Obviously that's not specific to Milovana, people can copy your messages in any chatroom. But we could make a rule that chatlogs can't be posted on the forums and that is something we should vote on.

Also, the new chat will go online very soon. It has a private chat feature where you are talking to one person only. So if you have something private to say, make sure you say it in private.

Ashe and Christie have stated their intention to leave countless times and hopefully they will either realize it some day or calm down and be reasonable again. If they do neither and this circus continues, we will have no choice but to ban both of them for spamming. You're warned, so let's not let it get that far, thank you.

,

Seraph0x

Have you considered IP banning them? I'm not very tech savvy, so I don't know how much effect that would have, I dont imagine you could stop them from using the (current) chatroom, but at least they wouldn't be able to bring the drama to the forum.

Banning people doesn't seem like it would be much in line with the philosophy of Milovana, but when events like this occur, where two people behave unethically, are unable to resolve their differences, and then needlessly splay the drama over the forums (why? to get public support or something? please, spare us), they're obviously insecure and probably a little unstable, and are having an obvious detrimental effect on the overall community, exemplified by Nadine's comment, so maybe it would be a necessary evil.

Thoughts, Seraphox?

The site is a reflection of real life....
In one's day to day life we tend to ignore fools and foolish behaviour.

I expect like me, most members here just click away to something interesting which is an advantage over real life when one cannot always do that.

seraph0x, you do a fantastic job for us all here.....THANK YOU!
We do not expect utopia....I stop reading posts that are boring...ie)My cock gets flacid!

Because Christie edited all her posts and she wants to leave this site anyways, I will delete her account and all her posts. I will quote her last post because it seems she wants that it stays and I am always eager to please to give a correct treatment for everybody here, even if this person thinks bad about us the Milovana Team.

Princess Christie wrote: Ok first of all I have not made one fake account. My husband has and account here as subzero and his buddy has an account here as dwarf. When they saw that I said I was done with this site they decided to have some fun with it. I did not lie, trick, or manipulate anyone. You should really find out all the facts before you post your lies about me and before you try to trick and manipulate these people into thinking you have any idea of what went on in order to try to make yourself look good. You really make yourself look stupid when you speak before you know the facts.

The next thing would be I have a husband, two kids, and plenty of friends so I have no worries about living a lonely life.

Third Ashe may have posted his intentions to leave this site many times but I have only done it once. The only reason I'm here now is because Dark pointed out how you tried to make me look bad with your lies, trickery and manipulation. It makes you look bad.

Fourth I have already stated in the farewell post that I was leaving Milo (The one and only time I posted anything about it). So you can take your warning and shove it up your ass. I don't care if I get banned I already left.

Last but not least. Before you try to preach morals to someone you should take a look in the mirror. You run a site that allows it users to post girls pictures with out their consent or knowledge. You don't even take the time to find out if the girls are minors or not.

Please, can everyone please just get along? I love this community, and regardless of who is to blame (every story has two sides), I hate seeing this site murdered like this. Milovana, has been a great retreat for me(and I assume most of its members and guests) to relieve the stresses of everyday life. Now it looks, as though this community has become threatened. PLEASE, nobody wins in these situations. Apologize, don't apologize, reconcile, or don't reconcile, but please do not take Milovana down in the process. I am not judging anyone here, just begging that this incident does not affect Milovana at large.

Everyone has always been welcome to this community, that has been what has made Milovana so great. I beg all the powers that be to please allow Milovana to live well into the future. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Well said, but hey sometimes good things have to come to an end so better things can arise

edit: i just got a PM from a worried user. No I didn't mean with my statement the end of Milovana, it was a general statement Just a little push in another direction to more positive thinking

I also wouldn't call it the end of Milovana.

When this kind of things happens - some of us will remember submatt leaving - I like to go to the site's statistics to get some perspective. Of course, it doesn't show up there. And that's the whole point. This site is essentially an idea that is bigger than any of us. It just keeps going and going. In fact, as anybody in entertainment will know - drama is good for business. We had a new all-time user record the day before yesterday: 7101 unique users visited Milovana and I bet a lot of them will stick around and some may even become contributing members.

The thing about rain is that eventually the sun always shines again. Unless you live in London, then you're ****ed.

(PS: For those who don't know, I used to live in London until very recently.)

Princess Christie wrote:Last but not least. Before you try to preach morals to someone you should take a look in the mirror. You run a site that allows it users to post girls pictures with out their consent or knowledge. You don't even take the time to find out if the girls are minors or not.

I didn't see it the first time, but this is something I have to respond to. Of course this is HUGE concern for us to make ABSOLUTELY sure that there is no child pornography on here. And I like to point out that so far we have succeeded. In total we had one attempt so far which has been detected by a member, before the tease was even published. (Yes, this is possible. No, I'm not gonna tell you how to do it.) The images have been promptly deleted, the member banned. We plan to record the IP address and hand it off to the authorities the next time this happens.

In additional to this self-exercised control, we plan to pay for external review of the site by becoming a paying member of the ASACP. Unfortunately, this costs a good bit of money, so it'll have to wait until we can run some advertising or take donations and make some cash that way.

Please also note, that there are thousands of sites that allow users to post content, like YouTube, Myspace, Blogger.com, Flickr, etc. and they all suffer from this problem. It's simply impossible to manually check every submission, but we do react usually within hours, or within a day at the latest to every report we get. I think that's pretty respectable for a bunch of volunteers.