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Happy Birthday Princess
Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:08 pm
by HogtiedCowboy
Please leave any and all feedback.
Thanks
Feedback: Happy Birthday Princess
Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 5:20 am
by all2true
May I also wish a Happy birthday as well.
Being from the midwest
I loved the cowboy theme
Great picks!
A bit short
but still a nice
quick birthday wish.
Re: Feedback: Happy Birthday Princess
Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 10:57 am
by Mz_Teneale
Hiya hogtied... I should of known you would write a cowboy webtease
I thought it was pretty good. It was short but i was there in the chat when you were handed this assignment, so i know the circumstances you were in.
I love kate, i think she is gorgeous (besides here weird foot). You could have gone into more detail text wise i think, im not a huge fan of "get to the edge now" phrases, especially in your tease, i think by memory you used it on the third page. Webteases should slowly build the reader up and up until he cant help but edge.
I especially liked the way the tease didnt end once the reader came. Im a big fan of that and my next tease may include a bit of that.
I gave it a 3 out of 5 ... Well done on such short notice!

Re: Happy Birthday Princess
Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 5:56 am
by HogtiedCowboy
Thank you Mz_Teneale,
One for honoring me by even reading my tease, and two for leaving feedback for me to improve.
I will certainly take the criticisms into account on my next tease...maybe it will elicit a 4 from you?
Humbly,
HogtiedCowboy