blue eyed princess
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 6:25 am
please leave feedback for my new tease.
I thought it was OK, although the spelling & grammar problems were a distraction for me. The girl in the pics was attractive, and the series of tasks was OK. The part about the cereal was unique... I haven't seen that before. I guess my suggestions for future teases would be:
Run the text through a spelling & grammar checker (e.g., MS Word)
It would be great if you could make some connection between the pictures and the text. For example, with the pictures you used, it might've been good to make the reader perform some sort of exercises as punishments or something.
There was definitely the potential for a really good tease there. I hope you keep posting more tease on this site.