Milovana.com

Hi there,
this is my first post here and it´s kinda important to me.
Well i am into flr for quite some time but never meet anyone to try it for real.
Some days ago i found a woman online who wants that kind of relationship.
I wrote her a message and she is actually really thinking about meeting me, she only has concerns because i have no reallife experience.
And now i´m having a meltdown^^
I went to the gym and as i just got on the cross trainer my pulse rate was higher then normaly after 2 hours of hard training.
I can´t sleep.
I can´t eat.
So i thought i ask for help.
How can i avoid spoiling the whole thing before it started?
How to adress limits?
Actually 90% of my brain can´t believe that something like this happend to me and i constantly ask myself if there is anything wrong.
Is the person i wrote with really a woman who wants this, or is the person just a teenage boy having the time of his life?
Will she just reject me at first sight? (well she got pics so it can´t be that bad)

If something i wrote has mistakes or is just nonsense, please blame it on 3 days mostly without sleep and language problems (english isn´t my first language).

EDIT: Oh maybe i should have said that i read Allisons sticky and thought about posting it there but decided otherwise.

Hi :)
The only way to check if this a real woman or just a man, is to video chat or talk on the phone. Hopefully you will get good impression of each other and that you can build a good relationship. This is something you have thought of for a long time and are very motivated. So you have to convince her that this is something you really want even that you have no experience.


Per-Erik

Thank you for your answer.
She isn´t living that far away from be (about half an hour by car) but i hope she brings the topic up first.
I know how silly this is but i am so frightened to write something wrong (wouldn´t lie about anything either, but that "should" be normal).
Don´t misunderstand me i am normally not a coward, but this is something really special to me.
The first time i wrote her i was nearly sure that she wouldn´t answer, so all i can think about right now is that i don´t want to spoil this.
Well that must sound pretty pathetic, but i just write as i think and feel.

I just wrote her that i could take courses to become more useful to her (for example learn how to cook her favorite meal or something), do you guys think that sounds to needy?

Maybe you should at first meet each other in a normal environment, have coffee together and talk about normal things. Just to get to know each other.

I can only agree with what have been said. If you can or want to feel more secure, organize a cam session or phone call. For the real life meeting, just take it like any other "normal" date, see if both of you feel cool, a connection, etc... And don't go to fast as bdsm is really about trust, honesty, clarity (about limits, safewords, etc...) to be safe

Lestat wrote: Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:16 pm And don't go to fast as bdsm is really about trust, honesty, clarity (about limits, safewords, etc...) to be safe

My first thought as well. Don't make your first meeting about the sex. Any good relationship requires trust, even more so for a kinky one. Keep talking, and let it happen organically. If she likes you, then she'll likely have more patience as you explore together.

As to verifying identity: Set up a date in a public place or video chat would likely be best. You can always try to reverse image search any too-good-to-be-true or otherwise dubious pictures she's sent you to make sure they're not already floating around the internet with someone else's name attached. That can be a quick way to find out if you've already seen red flags.

First of all, thanks again for all your answers.
I haven´t seen any red flags, i just think sometimes that this is just to good to be true.
Well actually i tried the reverse image search very early on and haven´t found any of the pics.
I don´t want to search any further kinda feeling like a stalker just for doing the reversed image search.

I am waaaaaaay more frightend about this doesn´t happening at all then i am of it turning bad.
If we should meet, how can i make a good first impression?

By the way she is some years younger then me but has much more experience.

She just sended me the allowance to formally apply as her slave.
She wants a long written text and serveral pics (nude and non nude, different parts off the body etc.).
I know that this would be kinda risky but since there are already nudes of me in the Internet it can´t be too much worse if it goes wrong.
If anyone´s interested in the reason: I´ve been swimming in a lake and some girls took pictures and loaded them up. The water came from above 4000m so it can only get better^^
What do you think?
She said i have two days for this, would you make professional pictures or should i take them by myself?
Looked for a professional but found only 4 guys near to me that had prices on the page.
Might get hard to get an appointment today or tomorrow and they all seem to be quite pricy.
From 133€ to 400€ if i just take the 6 pictures she wanted.

EDIT: Earliest appointment would be tuesday, so i asked for some additional days. Another question is shaved or not shaved.

I share you nervousness. I met a couple of women who were looking for FLR. The first meet up/date/whatever you want to call it always made me nervous, unable to sleep the night before etc. The actual meeting with the first lady I met the first words out of my mouth were something along the lines of "Hi, I'm Nick and I'm so nervous I need a coffee. Know anywhere good to go". After that I burbled on about something that was relevant at that time to society and we went from there. So, in a nutshell I would say just to try to keep your pulse rate below 3600 (I didn't manage it), remember to breath in as well as out occasionally, talk about normal everyday stuff, e.g. Man Utd are useless again this season, remember to ask open questions to the lady and generally try to be normal and not go into a high hover about the kinky side of you and her. That will all come eventually. Just try to relax.

Good luck with it though and I hope this is the start of something good for you.

Sillynick

Thanks again for all your caring and thoughtful answers.
I think no one can be absolutely certain about a person he hasn´t meet before (and in many cases even years and decades after that).

I thought about it what would happen if the pictures would spread.
Well i think it wouldn´t be fun but not the end of the world.
My colleagues would definitly be making fun of me for some weeks but i don´t think i would lose my job.
I think my parents already know (been interested in bdsm before i learned about browser history^^) and my father´s biggest problem would be the stupidity (he doesn´t cope to well with dump mistakes).
My brother wouldn´t have any problem at all (and i think it would be the same with uncles, aunts, cousins ...) and friends who would have a problem wouldn´t have been that much of a friend anyway.
So the biggest problem in my mind would be my grandparents.
One of my grannys would surly have a problem with it, but we are not that close anyways.
The one grandpa i have left and the other granny are harder to guess.

Only written that much so that you see i really have thought about it a lot.
If she is real and i lose her because i was to scared to send the pics it would be worse then if i send the pics and someone would try to blackmail me i think.

The relationship we both want would invole a big deal of power exchange.
The only limit we have talked about up to now is work and she would respect that (for me something that would make me really unconcentrated at work would be worse then the pics), but i think i will write some in my application.
Here are the things i came up with so far:

Hard Limits which shouldn´t change in the course of the relationship:

• Involving of persons or creatures without qualified consent (minors and pets can´t give qualified consent in my eyes)
• Illegal stuff (exeptions could be made for regulatory offences)
• hard drugs

Hard Limits which might change after a long relationship:

• permanent body modyfication
• scat
• vomit
• cuckolding
• work
• public (people not in the scene)
• blackmail (i do see the possible irony)
• forced gay

Soft Limits:

• adult baby
• sleep deprivation (if not interfering with work)

You all are really a great people, thanks again for all the help.
Should have joined here years ago, but was always just lurking for the teases.

btw. i´m from germany and not that much interested in soccer (i only watched one game in tv so far and that was because around two dozen people urged me^^) but i get your idea.

EDIT: If i would be blackmailed, how hard would it get to find out who the other person is? We´ve been writing each other on a vanilia dating portal and i have her mailadress. As mentioned, it wouldn´t be the end of the world, but if it would happen i would really like to find out who did it.

EDIT2: As i asked if i could get some days more so that i could make professional pictures she thought i wanted to make fun of her and got a bit angry. Oh maybe i should have mentioned that she wants nude and visible face at the same time. Till now she hasn´t answered any non kink related questions about her.

EDIT3: I just sended the application. Now i´m in her hands which fells good and terrible at the same time.
I think in a short while i will see if i get blackmailed or if this was the best decision in my life.
Wish me luck i´m going to need it.

EDIT4: Not blackmail but also no jackpot. I should have listend to you Marno apparently an unshaven butt is gross and 6 Inch is not enough for her.
Well could have gone better but also could have gone worse. All in all i´m happy that i tried since that was kinda a big step for me.

Huh. That's a bit rich. How would she like it if you told her that her boobs are the wrong size for you? I think that you are actually lucky that she didn't choose you — she doesn't sound nice.

Actually she was really nice and caring after i told her how much problems i had to send the pics with my face.
Well every person has another body and if she needs longer dicks then i have to accept that.
I think much of the problem is a matter of supply and demand. She told me that there were tons of guys who wrote her and that she had a hard time even answering all of them. By the way i think it´s much nicer to say that you don´t want a relationship (maybe even with reasons) then not to answer at all.

Well both boys and girls have problems with dating portals. The boys get no answers the girls have to many guys writing them.
Both not good but i would prefer the ladys problem^^