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Which do you honestly prefer and why?

Noone is completely submissive or completely dominant. Let's hear the reasoning behind what turns you on. ;) Tell us about experiences that have affected you.

When the thread accumulates 20 answers from unique users, i'll contribute my answer. ;)

-L

I would have to say that while there is a time and place for everything, I'm roughly 60/40 in favor of being teased. Especially when I'm tied up. I like the idea of someone pushing my body farther than I think it can go. Part of it is a competitve streak...like "you think you can break me? watch me outlast you!"...and part of it is just the sheer pleasure of not being forced to think, but simply reacting. Taking away the higher brain function, and reducing my body to a quivering mass of hormones.

I usually like to be dominated. Some stuff I consider too extreme, like I've seen video of girls punching guys in the balls when they cum, to ruin their orgasm, and that's way too much for me! I prefer the slow teasing sort of thing, where the girl makes me wait for several days, or a couple weeks, and teasing me during that time...

When it comes time to make love to a woman, I can take the control the way she wants. That's my experience anyway, that she'll want me to be in control of whats going on.

My girlfriend travels a lot for her job, so I don't see her for a week or two at a time. She has no trouble keeping tabs on me, making sure I'm being good and everything. When we're together, she usually likes me to take control physically. It gets down to romance above all and she needs more than a T&D relationship.

When my girlfriend tells me to be a good boy or asks me if I'm being naughty, that's a huge turn on. When she tells me how to stroke or to taste my cum, that's a huge turn on. If she ever wanted to punch me while I'm cumming that would not be fun. And I understand what she wants, realistically, romance more than one or the other to be in control. I can deal with that and the relationship is very strong because of the way we can interact.

The love of my life prefers milder teasing than I do. I enjoy making her feel good, and a little teasing to build up anticipation is a good thing in her book.

I prefer to be teased. The pleasure of an orgasm is so fleeting, but the teasing to the edge can be repeated over and over again prolonging the pleasure. Also, the side effect of being teased makes me more amorous to my partner and a I find myself spending more and more time trying to please her and make her happy. It really works out very well for both of us.

I love to be teased but I don't really go for the anal sex (I've caused myself to bleed a bit before) or punishing my balls. But I love to be brought the the edge again and again.

Personally I like being teased, I don't mind getting a bit extreme either but I like lots of slow sensual teasing, roleplaying, etc. However, there are definately times when I'm in a dominant mood and its fun to change things up a bit. I was on a spring break trip with my girlfriend last year and we basically alternated days being dominant and submissive, it was a great time.

For me, this comes and goes like the tides. I'm really into *both* submissive *and* dominant roles- in fantasy!

I'd love to be in a relationship a bit like this:
Every month, my dream lover and I get naked together. We then call heads or tails. On the toss of a coin, we then decide which of us is to be in charge for the month.
Whichever wins the toss, gets to have *all* their Earthly desires satisfied, as close as is possible, by the other.
And more than that, the Sub must be full- time submissive: doing all the chores, anticipating the next command, body worshipping, performing demeaning tasks, wearing a collar and any special uniform, being punished daily at a set time, etc.

This could be modified to suit the preferences of the partner: a strongly Dominant Lady might want us to throw two dice every month, and I'd have to roll 2 6s to become the Superior, for example.

I like to be teased. I enjoy not having control over what may (or may not) happen!

I would have to say that I enjoy being teased more than teasing. I've been fairly submissive in every one of my longer term sexual relationships. Of course there is the time and place to switch things up, and my need to T&D comes and goes.

I Enjoy both equally. What teasing is about for me is riding the edge of orgasm as long as possible before eventually cumming. I take t&d as tease and delay, not deny. If my partner is Multi-O then I derive great joy from finding just the right way to touch and please her so that she can have as many as possible. A woman's orgasm turns me on more than anything. I especially love pleasing a woman in this way as she keeps me on the edge.

There are some nice answers here. I guess it should've been obvious which end of things most people here gravitate to. But it's interesting, and a turn -on to hear the reasoning behind it.

diddums wrote:On the toss of a coin, we then decide which of us is to be in charge for the month.

Nice idea...but a month is too long. I'd like that on a weekly basis. ;)

And maybe not just a toss of the coin. Maybe you could freeze some water in a glass and put a coin on top of it. Leave the glass out while the 2 of you are out for the day, or at work. Predetermine before hand, who's 'siding' with heads, and who with tails. Ie. heads up, you are in a submissive role, tails up...she is. This would last for exactly one week. The coin would be either heads up or tails up at the end of a long torturous time waiting for the ice to melt and for the coin to sink to the bottom.

But let's throw a spin on this... ;)

Whoever gets home first sees which side the coin is up on at the bottom of the glass of water, and freezes it again (coin on the bottom, and not visible now). That person tells the other one what the outcome was. If it's you, you can lie to her to get what you want. Maybe it was heads up, but you want to tease her. You choose that role, and she decides if you're lying, or if it really *was* tails up.

-If you're lying and she calls your bluff, after that week...you switch to opposite roles for TWO weeks.
-If she thinks you're lying and you were telling the truth, shame on her, she doesn't get to have an orgasm that week.
-If you're telling the truth and she also thinks you are...the game starts over again the next week.
-If she thinks you're telling the truth, and you're lying...the game starts over again next week, and you got what you wanted. All the more reason to get good at it. ;)

The proof is in the freezer for both of you to view together at the end of the week when it's Friday, orgasm day. ;)

Just a thought.

-L

Lindsey wrote:There are some nice answers here. I guess it should've been obvious which end of things most people here gravitate to. But it's interesting, and a turn -on to hear the reasoning behind it.

diddums wrote:On the toss of a coin, we then decide which of us is to be in charge for the month.

Nice idea...but a month is too long. I'd like that on a weekly basis. ;)

And maybe not just a toss of the coin. Maybe you could freeze some water in a glass and put a coin on top of it. Leave the glass out while the 2 of you are out for the day, or at work. Predetermine before hand, who's 'siding' with heads, and who with tails. Ie. heads up, you are in a submissive role, tails up...she is. This would last for exactly one week. The coin would be either heads up or tails up at the end of a long torturous time waiting for the ice to melt and for the coin to sink to the bottom.

But let's throw a spin on this... ;)

Whoever gets home first sees which side the coin is up on at the bottom of the glass of water, and freezes it again (coin on the bottom, and not visible now). That person tells the other one what the outcome was. If it's you, you can lie to her to get what you want. Maybe it was heads up, but you want to tease her. You choose that role, and she decides if you're lying, or if it really *was* tails up.

-If you're lying and she calls your bluff, after that week...you switch to opposite roles for TWO weeks.
-If she thinks you're lying and you were telling the truth, shame on her, she doesn't get to have an orgasm that week.
-If you're telling the truth and she also thinks you are...the game starts over again the next week.
-If she thinks you're telling the truth, and you're lying...the game starts over again next week, and you got what you wanted. All the more reason to get good at it. ;)

The proof is in the freezer for both of you to view together at the end of the week when it's Friday, orgasm day. ;)

Just a thought.

-L

My God, I just HAVE to have a private conversation with you some day. Your ideas . . . wow!

I hope it happens some day Lindsey . . .

Ingenious- it turns into a game of bluff. I like!

I wanted to respond to the original question

I have found that delaying me
alows her more
She is multi-orgasmic
I'm not.

I do like "happy endings"


However foreplay and build up are inportant for both partners. Mental build up works well for most women
and is a strong modivator for guys.

You can make a wheel of fun, with a spinner very easly
In the morning you can spin the wheel to see what is happening later in the day
Sex dice work as well.
I would play Jenga with a partner for who was on top, I lost every time, even though I was trying to win!
It's the build up that's the fun part.

I can orgasm in X number of days
but today I will .....
Is very very hot.

The only thing about switching
is, it does not work well during a women's period
even if they are willing to have sex then, the drive is lower.