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How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 6:24 pm
by edeioh
Well, first of all, sorry for my bad English, it's not my native language. Thats the reason becouse i don't comment enough on this forum (But i read it a lot).
Sincerely, i really like (or I'm interested in) most of thing i read here but my question is, as the title says, how can i tell it to my girlfriend.
I would like to share all of this fetish/tease/games/etc with her but i think she is not enough open-mind. I guess I'm not the first one feels the same, so if anyone could help me, i would be very grateful :)
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 8:30 pm
by Ra
I have the same issue.
Have a gf, but don't know how to introduce her to this all.
Until now I tried tying her up and her tying me up.
Plus her teasing me a bit with her pussy by almost putting my cock inside but then stopping. Plus her riding me and stopping before I cum.
She enjoyed it, but I don't know how to get into more ki kier stuff
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 9:39 pm
by jause
Openness is exceedingly important in a respect. One should have no secrets
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 10:30 pm
by submissive5659
One way is doing this couples questionnaire. I filled it out with my gf and then it showed us only what we have in common. But after that, she asked if there were any that we didn't match on that I was able to tell her about and explain. So it's a pretty good way to get the ball rolling. Just be honest and good luck!
http://mojoupgrade.com/
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 11:42 pm
by Ra
submissive5659 wrote:One way is doing this couples questionnaire. I filled it out with my gf and then it showed us only what we have in common. But after that, she asked if there were any that we didn't match on that I was able to tell her about and explain. So it's a pretty good way to get the ball rolling. Just be honest and good luck!
http://mojoupgrade.com/
The questionnaire seems like a good thing to do. Thank you!
Did you two complete the basic one all at once or split it into parts?
For example: first filling out the first 2 pages, talking about it and then another time the next 2 pages.
(Seems a bit too much to talk about all at once)
And what were your results from this? What new "stuff" did you try?
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 4:31 am
by SeeMeFeelMe
In my experience, I've always introduced the concept in a playful way and gone from there.
Ask her what sorts of things SHE'D like to try out, and while trying to fulfill those, venture into a more submissive role and see what happens.
Good luck bud!
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 7:14 am
by Ra
SeeMeFeelMe wrote:In my experience, I've always introduced the concept in a playful way and gone from there.
Ask her what sorts of things SHE'D like to try out, and while trying to fulfill those, venture into a more submissive role and see what happens.
Good luck bud!
Thank you! I did the same with tying her up first and then her tying me up.
But I don't know how to go to the more extreme kinks...
May I ask what things you introduced with this process into your relationship?
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2015 1:37 am
by SeeMeFeelMe
Of course!
So, one of the girls I was with was interested in participating in a rape fantasy. This allowed me to sort of broach the subject as a dominant, and kinda leave open the possibility of being a submissive in a different context. I just looked for opportunities to showcase my submissive side and she responded.
Orgasm denial is probably a good place to start. Maybe joke about how it would be frustrating to not be able to cum when there's some cutesy foreplay type stuff going on, see how see responds. Just look for opportunities to allow yourself to be submissive.
I hope that helped!
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2016 4:50 pm
by Ra
She now finished the questionnaire of "mojoupgrade.com" (I started with the basic questions only)
And the results are not kinky
For tying me/her up, she checked for example "we already do that"
But we did it only maybe 3 times. I try bringing that in more.
For the more "out there" stuff, she almost always checked "No" ->Therefore it isn't shown in the answer sheet (I checked yes)
Like spanking with hands or Whip/paddle, pegging, etc
Any tips on how to get her more comfortable with considering these things?
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2016 2:40 pm
by Ra
So here is the link to our finished questionnaire.
Mojoupgrade was down, so we did it again at weshouldtryit.com.
I´m "D", my girlfriend is "S"
(I didnt see the "Star-Ratings" so i have everywhere 3 stars.)
https://www.weshouldtryit.com/index.php ... d95c3308c3
How can I get her more open to kinky stuff like tease&denial, bondage, anal (for me)
As she answered that she wants to show me how she likes sth from a porn scene and wants to be shown what i like, i´m thinking of finding a more "soft" clip with a dominant girl to show her.
Any help is appreciated!
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:53 pm
by CruelNatalie
I have been doing phone sex for a long long time. Not all of the conversation is to get off. In fact I get a lot of guys that come to me to learn how to get their wife or girlfriend interested. Every situation is unique. There is no one answer to this question.
You can ruin a good relationship with just a few words or actions. Men and women understand things differently. A woman might be openminded and willing to try things if it turns you on, however if you overload her without considering HER needs she will soon turn off and completely lose interest. Too many guys take advantage of a good thing and they just don't know how to pace themselves. It's MUCH better when its HER idea in the first place, however it takes patience and a careful plan to seduce that part of her. Sometimes you have to settle for just a little and let your imagination do the rest.
I would never just sit down with a laundry list of kinks. Never. Not unless thats the type of relationship you have. its rare.
I'm available to work with you, if you like. Just visit my blog to learn how to arrange a call or check out my programs. Go slow. Make it hot for her too.
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2016 11:22 pm
by felly25
Dude, better you tell it from the start, even knowing positive or negative outcome will surely cross at least you know it right away and doesn't that hard enough to feel pain whatever comes along. Anyhow, it's too late now you must tell her and you must be positive on whatever consequences may have. Good luck and God Bless on you.
Re: How to tell it to your girlfriend?
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 10:51 am
by SethK
I would also just go for it and tell her, but to be honest I never had to tell it my gf since it was her idea to begin with

We started slow and continued exploring together, locking me up in a chastity cage was my idea. She was sceptical at first, but only because she had these medieval semi-armor things in mind, when I showed her a bunch of cages she quickly started to like the thought of having me locked up.
Now I'm often locked up (as long as the cage permits), she lets me cum every 3-4 and also enjoys ruining my orgasms.
One thing you should keep in mind when talking:
Try to keep it slow. Since you are on this forum chances are you've explored your fantasies without her. But when it comes to sex as a couple it won't be your fantasies alone, it will be your fantasies and your gf fantasies combined. Aside from that, trying everything at once (chastity, ruined orgasms, cbt, ...) could be quite overwhelming for her. We started with 3 days of denial and whole lot of teasing. The cage and ruined orgasms were added a little later
