Milovana.com

One of the people I sent my Tease and Denial session to sent me an email with his thoughts on it. Here is one paragraph that struck me as interesting.

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HE SAID:

Subject Matter: My initial thoughts about T & D were negative, I considered it to be something mean bitches do to torment guys and make sure they don’t orgasm. I didn’t see it as delaying an orgasm to increase it’s intensity. In effect, controlling it so the eventual loss of control is much more extreme. You may find a lot of guys who have the same misconception – I’ve heard a few saying ‘that’s not my bag’ and I wonder if they understand it completely.

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I wonder if you guys here would be so kind as to post your thoughts on what T&D means to YOU. I am sure that there will be/are several differant "takes" on the subject, I am just curious...

Nikki

My initial reactions to teasing and denial, a concept that I wouldn't hear about until...late 2006, turned out to be a rather positive one. But, here's some info to fill in the gaps.

I discovered teasing and denial while looking for erotic stories on the web, and just so happened to come across a short series of them written about a group of cheerleaders who enlist (insert guy with penis here) to join them, and then they proceed to tease the shit out of him. It was terrible as a story, but the teasing was hot.

The tone of the story might have given me a different reflection to T&D than your guy. I walked into the whole affair viewing it as:
Loving Friendly Female seeks Polite Gentleman who is willing to give up sexual control for hot stimulation.

As opposed to...
Man Hating Feminazi seeks Male Masochist who never wants to ejaculate again

And as for orgasms being more intense...I have my doubts on that. I think think waiting one day would have a similar orgasm to waiting a week. Or two weeks. The intensity of the orgasm doesn't change, it's merely the relief of finally getting to cum gets added on to the actually cumming. That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

Oh! And to provide an explicit answer to the question:
To me teasing and denial is a fun and kinky game a couple could play. The woman who would end up teasing and denying me wouldn't be doing so because she's a mean bitch that wants to torment men, but rather because she thinks it's fun, and it happens to get her rocks off, too.

Makarov wrote:And as for orgasms being more intense...I have my doubts on that. I think think waiting one day would have a similar orgasm to waiting a week. Or two weeks. The intensity of the orgasm doesn't change, it's merely the relief of finally getting to cum gets added on to the actually cumming. That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it. .

For a woman, speaking of myself anyway I think it makes it WAY more intense. I can't say I have experienced it as a man (obviiously) but I have viewed the outcum many times and I do believe it looks and sounds more intense ;)

Makarov wrote:Oh! And to provide an explicit answer to the question:
To me teasing and denial is a fun and kinky game a couple could play. The woman who would end up teasing and denying me wouldn't be doing so because she's a mean bitch that wants to torment men, but rather because she thinks it's fun, and it happens to get her rocks off, too.

One step further, if she is a mean bitch and he is allowing that to happen for him then he must get off on the "mean bitch" senerio.

Thank you for the insite ;)

Nikki

From my perspective, T&D show that sex, like all of life, is about the journey. Not the destination. Yeah Ican come in 5 min. But I like sex better than 5 min.

Lets face it, & this is not a sub thing, the better it is for her. The better sex is. So if this is a fun thing then it is.

Oh & IT IS!

I know it's cliche, but I think it all depends.

I discovered T&D via the playful route. I've learned to enjoy the more FemDom route. I enjoy both approaches pretty much equally, though I am not a huge cuckold fan on the FemDom side of the house...though, there are moments.

I have found my orgasms to be quite intense...not after prolonged denial (I've gone 21 days before)...more after intense teasing of several hours. Coupled with external prostate massaging, I can just about come (no pun intended) up off of the bed.

If someone doesn't enjoy FemDom, they're not going to enjoy FemDom oriented T&D teases. If FemDom is all they're interested in, they're not going to enjoy the playful teases.

And, it comes back around to the cliche once more: it all depends on the person(s), the place, and the situation.

slavechylde wrote:I know it's cliche, but I think it all depends.

.

That is my absolute favorite answer to just about everything ;)

I love the rest of your comments also, thank you.

Nikki

I'd say that for me personally it, again, all depends :) There are a few different aspects that I enjoy.

My initial discovery and interest was due to the surrender of control and pleasure in a D/s setting, and I still like that side of it -- sacrificing immediate pleasure and yielding control to please someone else. In a similar vein I like the feeling of being all wound up with no way out as I go about my day to day business. The nuances of this of course depend enormously on the circumstances and who the control is being given to.

At the same time, and this can be related or entirely separate depending on the circumstances, I enjoy the pure physical sensation of the teasing. It is nice, and enjoyable, and if there is some frustration mixed in it doesn't really make anything feel worse (well, most of the time :)). The intensity of the eventual orgasm is also a huge plus. (As an aside, Makarov, I find it interesting that you subscribe to a theory, when you could so easily verify or refute it with a simple experiment over a few weeks!)

And last but not least I'm always curious about sensations, perception, and teasing out the boundaries of various feelings, so I find it interesting to break down pleasure and orgasm and really explore what is going on. In this respect I see orgasm control, teasing, ruined orgasm, prostate massages and probably other things I'm forgetting as all somewhat related in that they are ways to twist, tweak, and explore the male orgasm. Sometimes you find something frustrating, sometimes you find something fun -- but you'll never find the fun stuff if you don't look.

[edit] Oh yeah, also it is hot ;)

I have to say that I think about T&D as "Tease and Delay" not denial. It's an extended foreplay thing for me. And I agree with some that in my case, a delay of days has less impact on the intensity of my orgasm than an extended tease and delay session which occurs more in one setting. I may loose my erection, or my partner's level of arrousal may decrease for a bit, but it is never "all gone" as in multiple days of denial.

I'd almost like us to use "delay" or "deny" as additional filters for teases, as I'm sure some guys/gals like both, some one or the other.

Truthfully, that's how I use the denial teases. I do it, but just go on to another in a particular self pleasure "session" until I'm finally granted release or can no longer control myself... (or run out of time)

Peace!

Don't wanna repeat what everyone elaborately and nicely said .. just want to add:
I LOVE mean bitches ... I feel guilty calling them bitches

What I find extremely hot about T&D is that as the teasee, I after a while, I can feel my body betraying me. After a while, tough as you may be, you generally WILL cave, and do pretty much anything you're asked for release....not the desperation that is hot for me, it's the psychological mind-fuck that goes along with good T&D. :)

I like to give away power to a woman and worship her. When I was younger I thought I like BDSM, but when I found out some things I thought it's not the right thing for me to getting whipped by a lady in a black leather dress and boots. Then I found out about T&D and it really excited me. It's such a turn on to let a woman control my orgasm and I also like it if she is a bit mean and demanding while she is doing it. I love to be at her mercy and to don't know what will happen next.

Of course the orgasm is more intensive when i was denied and teased a lot before. If you do things not so often they become special. That's why the Olympic Games are every 4 years and not every year.

But it's more for me. It's really a power exchange thing for me. And I love to spoil a woman and make her happy. If the woman is satisfied by me it gives me a deep feeling of lust and satisfaction.

My favorite part of roller coaster rides is going up that first hill on older roller coasters.

The loud ratcheting sound of the chain, pulling you up, that ratcheting sound makes sure you won't slide backwards. It's a one way trip. Slowly up, higher and higher, and I think "holy crap" but I haven't reached the top yet, and the anticipation builds.

And I'm glad for the restraints, not because I'm stupid enough to try to jump out, but because there is a small voice inside any sane person that says "RUN!" at these times, and thanks to the restraints, that voice is part of the fun, as opposed to an urge I have to spend attention fighting rather than just enjoying the ride.

I love being in the first car, where you start going over that hill and it's like you're hanging there... the chain is still pushing the rest of the coaster up... and you can't see the upcoming track at all. And then you get a little further and you still can't see the track.

The rest of the ride is great. I love it. If it didn't thrill me then there wouldn't be the anticipation... but the anticipation is the experience that I think about when I think about roller coasters.

The same goes for teasing... except it's better because it's sensual & sexual. Plus, the top of the hill you see coming up, where the climax is at hand? It could just be a mindfuck, you don't know if you'll actually cum until you actually cum.

And even then, if I'm tied up, what happens next? Will she give me a satisfying orgasm and let me rest in bliss? Stop at just the wrong time for a ruined orgasm? Maybe she'll just keep on going with post orgasm torture. (http://hidebehind.com/91CA52) Or maybe, just maybe, I won't get to cum at all.

It's all about the anticipation with me. My favorite web teases are the ones where I think I'm going to cum on the next slide, and then I think I'm going to cum on the next slide, and then I think I'm going to cum on the next slide....

camel wrote: It's all about the anticipation with me. My favorite web teases are the ones where I think I'm going to cum on the next slide, and then I think I'm going to cum on the next slide, and then I think I'm going to cum on the next slide....

Yeah, 'hope' is a dangerous thing in this game. :)

I knew a dominant that was incredible at this. Coupled with bondage, this can break a guy down in a heartbeat. I think the better the technique and skill , the harder it is to get off of your mind.

I've been teased and denied by simple stroking and stopping when the Domme is ready, and even if it's done for a time (maybe a few hours), once the dull pain subsides, you can can get back to being a bit normal, albeit, a little on the horny side.

But when you have someone trained to "feel you out" (no pun intended), and bring you so close to the edge that you're SURE you're going to climax this time, no matter what, and she senses that (or feels that) and can stop it "right at that time", or even "back it up" if it goes too far (that's a bad one). It takes increasingly long to get it out of your system. Personally, I think my body temperature goes up, and other things as well, when I get a whiff of perfume or even get elevator-close to a woman after that for at least three days. And of course, just a couple erections in a day and ache tries to settle back in, sometimes succeeding.

I guess what I'm trying to say here, is technique and skill can push this much further than simply stroking and denying. And sorry, but yes, after this deep type of denial, an orgasm is always much more intense for me. A teeth-clenching, mind-rending explosion that continues until she drains me, at which point, I'm a mass of weak muscle that would do damn near anything in gratitude.

Ok, my 2 cents are done.

Daaaamn ... that was nice ... you should write a web tease