The premium part of your site will be tailored to the personal needs of the users, but I definitely think that even the free version should have some basic options in that regard. For example checkboxes to mark the sub's hard limits and general interests. I, for one, don't do feminization. Like at all. If any tease or anyone personally wants me to do that, I turn my back and walk away immediately. Yet for the most people around here, it is perfectly alright as a task or even as a reward. On the other hand, all those pain related tasks mentioned earlier wouldn't really be punishments in my case.
Case in point: I've done the
Games of Pain recently and I was stupid enough to choose Doodle God in the second round. Now I had never played that before and I generally suck at memory games to begin with. Add regular distraction in the form of spanking to the picture and the result was that it took me over 2 friggin hours to finish the task. Add the fact that I rolled 4 (50 spanks in ever 2 minutes) and even after subtracting a good chunk of time that I've spent with the actual spanking, I still did around ~2 000 hits. All of them with full force and I have a relatively strong build, so let's just say that I tried to minimalise the amount time spent with sitting for the rest of the day.
Still, did it excite me? Yes. Would I do it again? Absolutely.
With that being said, let me get to the actual point.
Assignments / motivations:
- Let's get the obvious out of the way first: stroking and porn. Both are no-brainers why.
- Naked workout. (Optional additions: doing it with tied up a tied up cock and balls; fixing a bullet-vibe on the head of the cock, or adding a vibrating cockring; wearing a buttplug while doing it, etc., you get the idea.) This might needs a little explanation why would this work for me, while doing cleaning or other chores would be more of the "meh, if you say so" category. No, not because I'm a body builder. I do have a strong build by nature, but I'm way too lazy to actually build upon that. It's because I do have a strong and wild imagination and I love to venture into the depths of it, creating stories, characters, building worlds in my mind (I'm kind of a writer). So, when I'm doing chores, I usually stop really paying attention to it and use the time to continue one of the tales I have in my head at the moment, while my body does the work. Whether I'm naked or not and doing it for you or because I have to take care of it anyway changes nothing in this regard.
Working out on the other hand requires attention. I have to keep count how many sit ups, push ups, weight lifts, etc have I done, have to coordinate my movements, watch my balance, etc. Not to mention after a while I will be all sweaty and my muscles will get sore, demanding my attention. All of that will make me focus my mind on the state of my body. The soreness, the sweatiness, the task at hand and of course, my state of arousal, especially when in denial. Adding any of those optional additions just strengthens this focus. It also helps, if I have to do all of this in front of a mirror. That makes me concious about how completely naked I am both mentally and physically.
- Giving targets and milestones to reach. Again, a personal thing, but I have a hard time focusing on anything. However, if I have a goal in mind to reach, and milestones that I have to pass, that helps a lot. And said milestones don't have to visible from the beginning, they can open up gradually. For me the prospect of "you have to do this list of ten things (with only the first two being visible, and the others opening up either with time or with the completion of an item on the list) to earn an orgasm from me" Is much, MUCH more exciting and arousing than the prospect of "you have a long way ahead of you before you are allowed to enjoy an orgasm", even if the time in denial and the tasks needed to be done are would be the same in both cases.
- This kind of links back to the first point, but still worth mentioning: stroking WITHOUT edging. Doing this for a longer period of time is more fitting under the punishments section, but doing it once in a while can get very arousing AND very frustrating. In denial I kind of substitute edges for orgasms. Getting to the edge has a promise of orgasm. I can see and feel how near the peak of my excitement is. And the knowledge that I cannot make good on that promise and cannot reach the peak makes it ever more thrilling. And it's kind of a mental satisfaction, that yes, I was close, I could go over, but I know better than to let my cock dictate and I could keep things under check. If I have to stroke a lot with the instruction, that I should stop before getting close to the edge and resume once I've calmed down a little, then this robs me from this possibility of mental satisfaction. On the other hand, I have to be extra careful and have to watch out for my arousal even more, so that I can avoid getting close to edge and this makes stroking more intense, so as a one time assignment, this works.
- Again, completely personal, and it's obvious from the posts above, that quite a lot of people would disagree, but mixing in pain with the pleasure is always seriously arousing for me. The simplest example is probably ordering the sub to use his off hand to stroke, and his main hand to spank himself at the same speed. So 1 spank = 1 stroke, preferably at the same time.
- Tying up one's own cock and balls in general. Seeing my manhood getting stiffer, harder and a bit larger than normally is pretty arousing on its own right AND seeing my private parts in bondage also helps me to get into a more submissive mood. Win-win situation really.
- Luck based stuff. I just love those "roll a dice to see what your luck has in store for you" kind of teases, so I'd welcome stuff like that in a denial period as well.
Rewards:
- Again, getting the obvious out of the way first: orgasms of any shape or kind.
- Chill-out day card. The sub could use it to get a day free: no stroking, punishments, assignments or rewards would be in effect for that day.
- Double edged rewards. Say, a token that would alleviate one kind of punishment, but double all other. The catch is, that the system would randomly decide on what kind of punishment will be alleviated only when the token is activated.
- Lifting restrictions, decreasing the time in denial, giving lower prices on some desired premium functions, giving a task that incorporates the sub1s favourite kink, etc. The obvious ones.
- Personal contact. Skype, e-mails, a few encouraging words, anything.
- I know that this section is really short compared to the others and that most of the things (if not all) were said before, but really, the very existence of such a website and service is kind of a reward on its own right. And basically most of the rewards go back to three bases 1) removing restrictions, making the denial easier somewhat; 2) giving the sub the freedom of choice (chill-out day, double-edge rewards) or 3) giving something personal.
Punishments:
- Forbidding edging for a longer period of time (for 4-5 days at least), I've explained why already.
- Periodical stroking. Example: make the sub stroke X times (preferably a relatively low number, say under 100, but your mileage may vary) in every, let's say, two hours (night hours included) for 2-3 days (or longer, but this takes a toll on the body after a while, so shouldn't be longer than a week at most). Since it is possible that the sub has periods of times when he simply cannot do it (say, if he is a bus driver and has a 3 hours long ride, then he obviously cannot jerk off in the driver's seat), so there should be a solution included here. Say, for every period he skips, he has to add two period to the punishment time. Say that he would have to do this for three days with 50 strokes in every two hours. He skips 3 periods. That would mean that instead of 48 hours, his punishment would last for 60 hours. If you want to be REALLY cruel give a higher stroke/period ratio (say 300-500) AND throw in a ban on edging.
This might sound counter-intuitive. Giving out lots of strokes as a punishment? How would that even work? Well, the trick is: even in denial nobody is sexually aroused 24/7. Human body simply does not work that way. If your mind is preoccupied with something else, say working, doing the shopping, driving, etc, then your sexual needs are taking a back seat in your mind. What denial does however, is making you MUCH more susceptible to erotic ideas. A denied man will get aroused much faster and it takes him a longer time to calm down afterwards. A low number of strokes in every hour is not enough to get any real pleasure out of it, but sure as hell enough to force the man in question to keep his state of arousal and his desire for satisfaction constantly in mind, without any hope for release. And the fact that he either makes his punishment MUCH longer or has to screw up his sleeping cycle by waking up in every two hours at night, getting his hormones high by sexually arousing himself, then try to fall asleep again, just to be forced to wake up again very soon is really tiring and frustrating. And since he HAS to screw up his sleeping cycle if he wants the punishment to end anytime soon, it also leaves a toll on his mental and physical state. That's why I say that a week is already a huge stretch and this definitely shouldn't take any longer. Chances are that by the 3-4th day at most he will be a wreck: he will be too tired to really collect his thoughts and to force his mind away from sex, so all he will be able to think about for 24 hours per day, is his unsatisfied sexual desire and would do ANYTHING to end the punishment. And if you were cruel and gave him a higher stroke count while forbidding edging, then, if he doesn't want to spend the better part of the day stroking hopelessly with pauses to avoid edging, then he has to find a way to make stroking as unpleasant as possible, to get done with the periodical number as fast as possible. This could mean using ice or really cold water, self inflicted CBT, etc. Point is, that he has to come up with something on his own, without you "forcing" him, to punish himself even more by making the thing that's normally extremely pleasant as unpleasant as possible.
- Substituting pleasure for pain while constantly reminding the sub of this. So instead of simply making him hit his balls, say 50 times, also add that what could he be doing instead of this punishment. Make him constantly concious about this.
- For me humiliation of any kind. Say, making me say it out loud what have I done wrong, while keeping me in a kneeling position. Or writing humiliating stuff on myself with a permanent marker. Or anything that would involve public places, say giving me an order to take a 20 minute long walk with a plug in my ass or anything similar would be the worst.
- And then I have this idea that I've read somewhere, probably on these boards. So credit goes to whoever posted it, but I thought sharing it nonetheless. Make him grab a simple grid paper, then make him colour every second square, one by one, completely black with a pencil. Not just scribbling a few lines, no, meticulously colour them black. And he has to stroke once after every coloured square. Additional punishments should be in order for screwing up the order.
As an afternote, I should probably add that I'm a weird kind of beast. I have a dominant mindset most of the time, but I am serious masochist at the same time. Normally I have a very strong sense of pride and am very stubborn, so I'm not submitting myself to anyone. Denial completely changes that though: after a few days submissive tasks and teases start to have an appeal, after a weak I'm pretty susceptible for submissive stuff in general and after about two weeks I'd do anything within my hard limits gladly and submit myself almost completely. I'm a weird kind of switch that way. A longer period would probably make me expand on my hard limits somewhat (feminization, for one example), but I haven't ever tried that and quite honestly I'm kind of afraid trying it as of now.
Well, that's about it. I would welcome that MP3 file if you deem this post worthy of it, but I really don't want spambots to find my mail, so I'd prefer sending you a PM with it. That's of course only if you find my post sufficiently helpful.