Milovana.com

Hey folks,

This is both a slight confession, as well as just a fact about myself that I can't get into shape.

For a few months I've been at Milovana doing mostly vanilla teases to try and deny myself cumming for a duration of time. However on most occasions, even if I manage to not cum during the tease, and even if the mistresses in the teases strictly tell me "no more stroking for the night". I end up giving in, and giving myself a release.

Today I had completed the Stroker's Challenge via Tease Me. Afterwards I ended up going for a bath, coincidentally cumming while washing myself. Now I'm sitting here typing this thread with a rather bitter-sweet feeling.

Have any of you guys had this problem of dedication before? Or is this a situation where teases can only do so much to provide me a means of mental stimulation for denial? Also any tease recommendations for this situation would be more than welcome, and much appreciated.

Once you find it in yourself to stop and put it away a few times. It will become a habit that you can control making it easier.

Grow a pair (literally) and put that clit away. ;)

I know that problem. There are two types of People who are into orgasmdenial.

The first group prefer the state of heightend arousal over an orgasm, and have an easier time to deny themself. They want to be denied, it's what they desire, so it's easier to stop and do it on their own.

The other group love the idea that they give up their orgasms for a Mistress, and she denies them. They love to endure the frustration that comes with it FOR their Mistress. Thus they have a hard time doing it to themselfs, as they lack a Mistress to focus on.

I'm from the second group too, and I know how you feel. I can only follow a tease to the letter if I really get into the fantasy of it. Most teases I loved reading for the Fantasy, but then I came hard at the end too. I have to immerse myself into the Fantasy to fully comply, which is not possible at times.

So when you feel ready, pick a tease and let yourself go and fall for the fantasy. And try to have the mindset of 'I will comply with the Tease-Mistress commands' and not just 'I'll try' before you start the tease. And then just stick to it.

...

oh one last thing. You can try a chastity cage, it helps a lot after a tease. Hide the key well, and then when you have a weak minute or two, you are safe from accidents ^_^

It was a problem for a long time for me. Actually, If I tried long term denial right now I would fail. But it became easier over time.

For now I recommend you to concentrate on delayed orgasms. That means that you cum after some edging, preferably as much as you can take. Just sit and watch a hot porn movie you like, knowing you WILL cum, but making a point to wait as long as you can for it. It feels better than a quickie for one thing. Just do it one edge at a time. One more edge without cumming, and next time you cum. And then another one.

Also it's hard to recommend this thing (it's personal) but you may try hypnosis to help you. Not DENIAL hypnosis that makes you unable to cum etc etc. But something like boosting motivation to deny yourself, without taking your control or ability away. For example Nikki Fatale's "Frenzy" is just like that. It does not forbid you to cum, rather itmakes you more compelled to not cum when you masturbate.

Without wanting to repeat what has already been said I think there is a lot of good advice already posted. It's a matter of self discipline in my view. You have set yourself the goal of not cumming after a tease tells you not to, and before you see the day out you end up cumming. It's an easy temptation to fall into and one that I know myself. Personally I think perhaps you would benefit from more one to one teasing and denial, so then there is someone else you are making that promise to. Have you tried any of the forum games that involve denial? may be worth a shot. Or going into chat and getting to know some of the people here? eventually they may agree to help you with denial.

Failing those thing personally I would set myself a challenge, to perhaps do a couple of edges before bed, and not cum until morning. Set down a consequence / punishment if you do cum and try to stick to it.

It's a funny coincidence you post this topic now!
I'll try not to present a wall of text, but I too 'suffer' from this issue. For a long long time I was an anonymous lurker here, became registered, lurked some more and finally made my first post a few days ago.
I've done the cock-cage thing, and initially had to keep both keys ice-locked, now only one, and am so 'comfortable' with my current set up that I frequently forget where I last left my available key...

But anyway, my first post was for a dice game which I'm now thinking might be helping me surmount this particular problem. (As an aside, is it really a problem anyway??)

Basically, each play of the game seems to have 3 distinct phases.
The first phase of a few days is really quite dull: nothing much happens, no edging, and deliberatley no chance of cumming. Physcologically I seem to be preoccupied with the anticipation-of-the-future-delayed-gratification that is to follow.
In the second phase of 2 or 3 days things heat up a bit, get some edges in, still a low chance of cumming, and (peculiarly?) not too much desire to push ahead too far go over. And the anticipation of the desire for a full release grows.
This blends into the third phase of 2 or 3 days where each session provides plenty edges, with a strong desire for 'just one more', but each time it's a little easier to stop and tuck it all away again.
Each game takes around 6 to 7 days and ends with a 'successful, permitted' orgasm.

I've only been around this a few times and I'm not trying to suggest it's a wonderful answer or that you ought to adopt it instantly as some kind of training regime, but it might help.

And anyway, I'm having fun!

PS:If you want to have a go, I'd suggest an Excel spreadsheet: only requires a few boxes of randbetween(1,6) for the dice, one for a last cum date and a few boxes to add, subract and multipy. Press F9 and there you go.

@Dominate_me_ - .. I-I'll try my best from now on!

@Tobias23 - I'll admit, it's sometimes hard for me to get into some of the stories, it all depends on the themes. Though now that you mention it, for the teases I'll link below, I managed to get in the mood by loosening my mind, not thinking of anything, and only thinking about the tease, nothing more. I'll be sure to try that again with the same teases, hopefully it'll yield the same result!

@Nezhul - I think this is what I already do. I love it as well! The feeling of being on the edge for an extended period is much better than any quickie. To be honest I find it much more difficult to get into hypnosis than teases. I could always give it a shot though!

@Banquo - That actually sounds like a great idea. What I used to do a couple months ago was write down everything in detail via notepad (YUP). Think of it like a contract if you will, I set myself instructions with disciplinary actions for failing them. It worked for a while until I got a little too adventurous. I have yet to play the forum games mind you - despite having a nice look. I haven't had the confidence in my denial yet to give it a go.

As for the chat, do you mean as in asking for instructions? I've been around there before, and got on will folk quite well, but I'd feel too dirty asking them to task me such things xD However I'll keep it in mind ~

@Ragged Edger - I think I covered these in the above reply to Banquo. Thanks, and good luck to you!


Here's some of the teases I managed to get in the mood for quite easily.

Tits, ass, or BIG DICK
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showt ... p?id=21372

Shemale Boss
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=21183

Gumi Teasing Software
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showt ... p?id=20321

Hawkward wrote: As for the chat, do you mean as in asking for instructions? I've been around there before, and got on will folk quite well, but I'd feel too dirty asking them to task me such things xD However I'll keep it in mind ~
1

Well I wouldn't just ask for orders, but go in get to know people and they might want to play or domme with you.

You must first ask yourself why do you want denial?


For me its simply cuz I like stroking longer more than the orgasm itself.

Eg, no wacking off for 5-6 days. Then, on a saturday wake up, eat breakfast. Wack for 15 minutes. Watch some backed up tv series for 30 minutes. Wack off for 15 minutes again. Repeat for the whole day with breaks for eating. I often do not edge at all.

This can be repeated in another 3 days.

This regime is impossible for me if I have an orgasm.

The second reason is that with denial, my interests in porn change. With denial, I become obsessed with cunnilingus and lesbian porn. I can watch it the whole day. And I like the hightened obsession with this new porn rather than the usual "orgasm-porn".

****Why only 15 minutes - apparently I have some physical issues.

It sounds like you have had good advice on helping you increase willpower

but not everyone who Likes the idea of denial is actually able to do it!
I had one fellow who wanted to do denial but would get grumpy, have trouble focusing.
After trying for a while and Never being able to go more than 24 hours without an orgasm, he realized Denial was not for him.

It is a fun fantasy... but it not for everyone!

SexualChoc wrote:It sounds like you have had good advice on helping you increase willpower

but not everyone who Likes the idea of denial is actually able to do it!
I had one fellow who wanted to do denial but would get grumpy, have trouble focusing.
After trying for a while and Never being able to go more than 24 hours without an orgasm, he realized Denial was not for him.

It is a fun fantasy... but it not for everyone!

Absolutely! I can't thank everyone enough!

Also that's quite true, and a sad fact. I'll try to get in that mindset through trial and error for now. If it doesn't pan out, then I can always do shorter denial sessions. I'll update this topic again if any of the ideas yield positive results, or if managed to built up the willpower to resist release.


@Nezhul - I gave hypnosis a little try last night, though not Frenzy, rather the first in the "Control" series. I must admit that I loved Nikki's voice, and the session was over before I even realised. Whether I managed to do it right, I'm not sure as I don't know how I should "feel" when trying hypnosis, though I followed her instructions, and experienced some sensations that I just accepted as normal.

When I listened to Control, I'll admit, some of the words she said caused certain reactions - a cold chill, getting aroused, trembling underneath the skin from the excitement of the ideas and thoughts she presented me.

Also, I am not lying when I say the time flew by. After she finished, and left me in a state of laying down with my eyes shut, unable to lift my arms, or open my eyes, I found it hard to recall at first what I was just doing, but all I then wanted to do at that point was sleep.

I'll try getting Frenzy to work tonight ~