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Exploring her likes and needs.

If your not willing to put in the time to work over every little detail your not going to get the most satisfying sex.

Pay attention to her breath, movements, pulling away or pushing in. Its all small details that pull into the big picture.

Rushing will not get you anywhere but dry!

My biggest tip is to pay attention to the mental aspect. That is the key part that will get them going then the rest is paying attention to details.

While your advice might be true for the majority of women (this is an assumption!) it wont tell you anything about the exact women in front of you. The curse of chance really...

There are these women that will tell you to skip the damn foreplay and get fucking. They might not be the majority, but then again, the curse of chance. ;)

Saying "this or that will ALWAYS do this or that" is just plain wrong. In my humble opinion, any sex advice should be read as "if you do this, there is a good chance this will happen".

In the end, what it comes down to is trying, paying attention to one another, communicating.

Sgt. Pepper wrote:In the end, what it comes down to is trying, paying attention to one another, communicating.

This!

People are very different. Thinking something you have learned or heard applies to YOUR partner simply makes no sense - even if statistics support it, chances are that your partner is still going to have other preferences.


For me, great sex boils down to a few very simple rules:

1. Communication!
Openly talk about sex, what you do, what you like and what you don't like. Some people may think talking "ruins the magic", but it doesn't have to. When you know each other better talking clearly isn't as necessary all the time, but especially when you're with someone new talking is definitely mandatory. Rather than saying "don't do that!", or "That doesn't feel good at all" though, "It's even better if you do it like this" works better.

2. Be open for criticism
Being told that what you're doing isn't optimal is NOT a bad thing. Be happy that your partner trusts you enough to tell you, and be happy for the opportunity to please her better.

3. Know yourself!
If you don't know your own sexual mechanics and preferences, how the hell shall you ever be able to communicate it to a partner? Society sadly has through history told people that playing with themselves is a sin. They should have been shot.

4. Use tools
She cums first. Both literally and figuratively - unless of course she WANTS it differently. Many guys will never be able to fix their stamina enough to handle that requirement - and even less so when considering it a requirement. Using tools is no defeat - it merely shows more devotion and commitment to HER needs before your own.


The thread starter really hit the nail with this:

A woman who isn't interested in sex is 99% of the time so due to not having a good time when you do have sex. The reasons behind that can be more complex though, but usually connected to poor self-esteem, consciousness about their own body (usually completely misguided, but that's irrelevant), and simply not getting satisfied.

Reassuring your woman and giving her a mind-blowing good time is a fairly safe way to make sure you don't get turned down very often at all