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Hey gang, I had a question for people who have been following the series so far, and might as well let this double as a feedback thread since there isn't one up yet.

I've gotten a little stalled going into part 4, because I have to resolve the issue of Bryci's trojan. Putting aside what I know about Bryci and Katie's motivations as the writer, I can't seem to decide if the protagonist himself would carry out Bryci's request or not because I haven't really put myself in his shoes. Thought it might help to put up a poll and see what the general consensus is, should help me out going forward.

Thanks for reading!

Great series so far!

I would like to see Brycis trojan in action.

For me, she seems to be the crueler bitch. It could be a tourning point to the series, where Bryci gets fully control over the protagonist and maybe over Katie...

... things could get "nasty".

Really nice Story...

Another Idea would be giving a choice in the tease.
Would be more work, but also more interactive

I have to agree with Frozen88 - best option would be a choice in the tease, but that almost doubles what you have to put in the one tease...or causes 2 separate teases to be written for the next part in the series.

I myself am leaning towards choosing Katie over Bryci if the option presents itself.

Just have to say, the tease description intrigued me, then after opening it and seeing perhaps my current two favourite models were the subjects of the tease, I was immediately hooked, and what a brilliant tease it is so far (only 2 parts in at the moment)!!

I hope you can continue it in the same fashion, until it runs it's course. Also, where did you find the picture of the chastity cage, it's amazing, never seen it before?

Cheers

Perhaps it's just my rather suspicious nature here, but no, I wouldn't run the trojan. I have the feeling that this trojan isn't meant to "release" him at all. Just transfer control to Bryci herself who then, of course, won't release him either. I don't trust Bryci at all.

Truth be told, I don't trust Katie either, but as the old saying goes: When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

The protagonist in this story is already in over his head...Put the shovel down already.

As for feedback though: Excellent so far. The story is interesting enough to make me keep reading it, even if I don't actually "do" the teases. My only "negative" critique (and really this depends on what happens next) but I thought Bryci "changed" rather too quickly to be believable. I mean, the way you've written it, she's basically gone from closet virgin/obsessive masturbator to psycho manipulative wannabe domme with an over inflated ego in the span of a few days. That's either a rather large jump or there's something about her that the protagonist doesn't know. So depends on where we go next before I can actually say it's a "bad" thing.

Frozen88 wrote:Another Idea would be giving a choice in the tease.

Agreed, that would be ideal, but I'm averaging 300 pages per chapter with this tease as it is. That kind of branching just isn't sustainable for me in the long term, much as it would help the tease.

pin-dicked sissy wrote:Also, where did you find the picture of the chastity cage, it's amazing, never seen it before?

It's actually just a random picture I found on the internet, but if I had to guess it's probably a steelwerks extreme cage. Not 100% certain.

Incubo wrote:My only "negative" critique (and really this depends on what happens next) but I thought Bryci "changed" rather too quickly to be believable. I mean, the way you've written it, she's basically gone from closet virgin/obsessive masturbator to psycho manipulative wannabe domme with an over inflated ego in the span of a few days.

The teases so far play out over a number of weeks, but I still see your point. In my head, Bryci's this character whose entirely sexuality up to this point has been developed and explored entirely in her own mind. She's never been afraid of being judged for her own desires, partly because she's never shared them with anyone, but mostly because her status elevates her so far above anyone else's opinion.

She doesn't have any real sense of shame or fear. When Katie's fetishes become apparent to her, she's able to process her own feelings about them rather easily. Ultimately, Katie controls you, and you're the only tether to any kind of intimacy Bryci's had with another person. Bryci's unresolved feelings for you both filter through to Katie and are hindered by her power over you, which is part of the reason why Bryci ramps up so fast into wanting that power for herself.

Beyond that, well... It just gets complicated.

Excellent tease KIU.
When is next chapter coming?

I think Katie's pretty great and as the protagonist wouldn't run the Trojan, but wouldn't tell her that Bryci gave me the Trojan either unless asked point blank.

I wouldn't run it either. Just don't trust Bryci at this point.

ebanarium wrote:Excellent tease KIU.
When is next chapter coming?

Thanks a lot! I can't say anything definitively about when the next part will be out. There was another project I had to complete over the last couple of days, so there will be a bit of a gap. I've got my attention back on the series now though, so stay tuned!

This is a damn good set of teases.
You always produce high quality, but this series is my favorite. Great story.

I'll admit that the size and perfection of both women's tits do help to appreciate this series even more than I already did by just reading the story

I hope you will have the next part done soon. I wanna know what Bryci is gonna do now....

Another masterpiece You're really my favourite author on milovana. I'm totally hooked if the author can create the illusion of an emotional connection between "mistress" and player. You achieve this with ease in every of your teases. And every time you use a creative and unique approach. Your stories are - from beginning to end - immersive and tense. Thx for the great work.

Thought, it would be nice to play the tease series in high resolution:

lagavulin_nl wrote:This is a damn good set of teases.

d3vi0n wrote:Thx for the great work.

Thanks a lot for the feedback, it really helps to keep me motivated!

Wow, great stuff. Keep it coming!